Some days, you just feel like the world just doesn't like you and has no place for you. Other days, you feel like you can and will do anything you have to do. This day is one of the day I feel like there's no point in me living. I feel as if I just bring everyone around me down, like I am nothing but a bad influence on my environments. Yada yada yada. People like me are a dime a dozen. However, I don't really worry about actually acting on these thoughts on days like these, since I know that I don't have that type of courage to kill myself. I acknowledge somewhere in my head that there are people who would genuinely feel sadness if I die. My feelings don't matter because I will never act on it, or at least, not in the near future. Life is tiring, but there's nothing else to do but to keep on going.

Putting the sadness aside.

In one part of a dream I had yesterday, I was running away from a person. I was actually trying to sneak away from an area to get help for my dream friends who were pretty much trapped in the lair of a crazy kidnapper who was hellbent on brainwashing kids to carry out bad actions. Some of the kids already under her command resisted in their own way, some were fully brainwashed. I wanted to sneak out because if I was caught, that would mean fighting the kids, which I did not want to do. Right when I was about to get out though, I made the fatal mistake of making noise since I got careless as a result of getting relieved. I began to rush to the exit, a gate thta was taken from the side of my house. Seeing as how there was no time to open the gate witout getting caught by the pursuer, I decided to jump and fly but right before doing so, I gained awareness that this was a dream and that if it followed the usual pattern of running away, it would turn into another one of the chase dreams. In order to prevent this, I turned around to face the teen girl after me and went up to hug her. Even though I couldn't see her face, like it was there but clouded, I went up to her and hugged her. I was taken back to the lair, of course, but I managed to fight the boss. Things happened and I woke up.

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Right after that, I fel back asleep into another dream. This one was in the setting of one of those death games, where people were forced to play a game set up by something higher. This game gambled using your life, and people would often be pitted against each other, the loser being killed. While I was chatting with one of the people while we were in a brief respite between the rounds, I learnedof what they went through previously. They were placed into a container which filled up with water. They had to try not to drown, and when the water reached the top, the water ewould drain quickly enough that the people would have to be careful to maneuver into an area when they wouldn't get smashed into the ground below.

The last round I went through, four people,including me, were chosen to be pitted againt all of the other contestants. The point of this round was for us to escape while the opposing team tries to prevent the escape for an unknown period of time. We were supplied with a board that would transform according to our wishes which was to be used to escape. The opponents would be able to make us go back to the starting area with just a single solid touch. The area was big enough for an entire town, but that was fair since the opponents had enough people for an entire town. At that point, I was tired of the game, of the pointless killing. I didn't want to die, but I didn't want all of those people to die either. I wanted the other three to escape while I stayed behind, so that only I would have to die. I went with them, but that caused the opponents to try and capture all of us. The last thing I experienced before I woke up this time was me being tagged close to the designated escape area while the other three booked it. One got tagged, which made me feel a tearing sadness deep in my chest, but I didn't get to see what happened to the other two. The dispair on my friend who got tagged was unbearable.

These are fragments of my dream. If I was a better writer, perhaps I could have written it in a way that it deserves, in a way that fully shows and conveys the experience. Sorry.