It took quite some time before I came to terms with my new living environment, the books calling to me, whenever I felt bored. I went through them pretty quickly, all of them just being foundational works, the History of the Horde seemed terribly biased.
The Whole novel was about one great Warlord after another, no defeats on the record. Seemed a bit unlikely all things considered, but it told of them time and time again coming up on top against both the Empire and all manner of horrible beasts, comparing them seemed to be the authors favorite analogy. Which coming from the supposed atrocities they committed as told by their side, was well deserved.
Still something I would take with a grain of salt, the only truly useful information was the Hierarchy of the Hordes, ranging from the great Warlords themselves, all the way down to the slaves, all well documented.
Pursuit of the true path seemed to follow suit. A biased account of the prowess of the more shamanistic approach to magic, that the hordes seemed to possess, compared to the more rigid, easily modifiable forms of the Empire. Still the fact that magic could be learned in a way that was different from the Empires path was a great font of new information and thinking.
Tactics of war I quickly discarded, the history of various battles and the breakdowns of the strategy that went behind them, was quite interesting in finding more information out about the various battles that were glorified in the Histories in a more true form. Other than that, it didn't inspire any of your own creative strategic thinking, just knowledge to follow the wisdom's of the Ancestors and Warlords in battle. Not the best strategies on the small scale really. Still a bit more insight was always handy.
Then came the real books that would change me forever.
The Basics of Aura and reaching your inner world promised and by all accounts seemed to deliver the foundation of the path to supremacy through magic. Aura patterns ranged from very simple, which made your aura dense and straightforward, all the way to the vastly complex that would add all manner of attributes and powers to your natural pool. Still there was nothing so fantastic in the book, it gave the tried and tested simplest method across the continent of getting to Tier 1 and building a sold foundation. With nine basic pillars, that your natural talent would either make sturdy enough to get you to godhood, or will make you falter at the first or last hurdle. Thus making the first steps immensely important.
Reaching your inner world was a bit more complicated than simply circulating your newfound mana in a particular pattern that reaches your entire body, no to breach into you inner world and gain your true potential power that we all see when we awaken, require a little more strenuous activity, getting in contact with your soul.
Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.
Not something that everyone was capable of.
Very little in fact truly reached into their inner soul and discovered the true powers and gifts that lay within. I wasn't much different at first.
That brought no end to my frustrations, circulating was mind-numbingly easy and boring at this step, just require persistence and consistency, reaching my soul meanwhile seemed an impossible task.
Every time I tried to find my so called "Inner balance" the situation I was in came crashing down on top of me. The stress often became too much, forcing me into a passive state of cultivation, the fact that my only escape was the inner circulation, the frustration that, that was my only escape brought no great frustration, bringing me further down, that pattern continued for a few hours before I forcefully put myself to sleep.
The frustration of another day of getting nowhere clawed to keep me awake.
The only way I could keep track of the passing time was the food. The ever burning mage lights never wavered, so that eternal light was slowly making me go insane.
The food was also nothing I could be too happy about. The breakfast was simple oats, the lunch a simple stew, the dinner was a simple affair of some form of meat, I still haven't managed to identify.
The food kept me going. Over the past ten notches denoting supper I had managed to cultivate the habit of immediately falling asleep. The knock of breakfast my alarm. This new schedule was another thing that kept me to some measure of sanity.
Finding my path to my soul and my inner world became increasingly muddy as the days went on, rather than becoming clearer.
I felt as if I was making no progress. My pillars were slowly forming and becoming thicker, but as they did, I felt my connection to my soul dim as my body grew stronger.
A path of the average warrior as the text states, not something a true mage of the Horde would want to follow.
Such rules surely must apply to the Empire as well, further fueling my desperateness.
I was useless. The true path to power was being blocked by my own actions at every step. Somehow I would have to force my self through the calming practice of Aura meditation and find a true inner strength inside, thus ensuring my future path as a mage to Tier 7. Every Tier you don't open your spiritual path is a great waste for yourself. The difference in strength between someone who connected before Tier 1 compared to someone who awoke at Tier 4, at each subsequent level the power difference is like Heaven and Earth.
One thing that was common knowledge about the Ancients training program, was that they awoke your spiritual path, pretty much before you even started doing anything else on the path.
Bringing all the pain and suffering to the surface. I began to target it at the bottleneck I felt in my self while meditating, all the horrors that occurred to me throughout my life, slowly forming together into one mass of resentment, that seemed to slowly be chipping away at the barrier.
I felt my self weaken far too soon however. The frustration for me failing now, began to build to a crescendo, with an echo-less scream it all broke apart.
I was through.