The funny thing about the most triumphant success stories is that they depart with a sense of longing, an untapped desire, and even a dimly lit spark of inspiration that longs to reach out to the unsafely maintained factory holding tons of ammonium nitrate. Mark, our main character, is far from inspiring longing and barely belongs as a side character. Even if the world were divided into a series of infinitely expanding ponds filled with preyed upon prawns to other such pawns, Mark would still be a cricket with a broken leg, no violin, or musical sense. His sole achievement is his statistically unlikely mediocre averageness. That or his anomalous average success rate in offing himself off, which frankly, isn’t a LinkedIn-recommended resume selling point. After a successful suicide struggle, he meets an exasperated consultant genie outsourced by God. The genie gives Mark three chances, of which Mark decisively fucks up two, and lets Mark roll the obviously-not-loaded dice again to escape his average existence. In the process, he discovers the terrifying world of below-average.  he suffers a bit more Goals: I am a sadistic asshole whose most successful attempt at ‘positive thinking’ is the well-understood mantra of ‘I’m positive the shit is going to go up the wall, through the corridor, and into my expecting, unsurprised, face.’ My writing maxim is to start with a set of assumptions and then proceed to follow the logical conclusion. I took the premises of some of the literature on this website and will hopefully move to write a nightmare for Mark. Chapter three already insinuates some of the political dynamics, and frankly, I hope to make Kafkaesque a synonym for utopia. Personally, I think my writing style is a complete mismatch with pretty much the entire readership of the website, if only for the fact that it’s a bit verbose, witty, and fucking smug. As a result, I seriously appreciate community interaction to an unsustainable degree and would encourage recommendations. I would also encourage ruminating about the future plot since that would make it a hell of a lot easier to write down. Just bullet points are fine; I think I can get the rest of the words there. I am revising the story with every update, so earlier chapters may change significantly.