CHAPTER 36

“Oye,” Cici shouted as he jogged over, a slight limp in his gait. His temple showed signs of swelling where he had been attacked, and one of his legs had several gashes in it. “You alright, lad?”

“Hoping it's just a flesh wound,” Kopus replied as he gingerly dabbed his wounded cheek with his shirt. A blank window popped up. He told that one and the one that followed it to piss off as well.

“I meant your head. You jumped on these boys with a unique type of fury. Can’t say I’ve ever seen anything quite like that,” Cici answered.

“One of those assholes slapped me,” Kopius complained. He turned to show Cici his cheek.

Cici crinkled his face slightly.

“Is it bad?” Kopius asked eagerly.

“You know, some people find that sort of thing attractive.”

“What thing?”

“Scars.”

“It’s going to scar?!”

Cici chuckled as he groped into his fanny-pack.

“Is it?” Kopius asked again with more earnestness. Another empty window popped up and it gave him a bad feeling.

“Yes, but just a little,” Cici replied. He pulled a few green leaves and handed them to Kopius. They were light in weight but stiff like untreated leather.

“Is it going to be bad?”

“Chew on those. Do NOT swallow them,” Cici said sternly, ignoring the pleas of vanity. “Once it is flexible, place it there.” He indicated the injured cheek with slapping motions. Cici popped two of his own in his mouth, and the men took a moment to apply their facial wraps.

“How about we take care of this next set before we worry about your mating prowess?”

Two more sets of moving bubbles had reached the shore with fourteen skeletons emerging from the toxic water this time. Kopius had the briefest flashback of when he used to play a round-based zombie co-op, where each new round spawned more—and stronger—zombies. The pond funk fell off and the group lined up–just like the first round–shoulder to shoulder before advancing.

“Okay, there’s more,” Kopius began as he finished applying the facial healing strips. “Maybe we work together this time?”

“Sounds good, what do you have in mind?”

“I don’t know, but my swords don’t do shit. I need a bat.”

“A bat?”

Kopius stopped short in replying as he recalled, basically, the same conversation with Oh-jin a while back. Damn, that seems so long ago.

“I need a club or mallet,” Kopius clarified.

“Well, all we got is Celeste here,” Cici said as he gave the massive astralsilicate a kiss. If it were not for the encroaching skeletons, Kopius was ready to sit down and get to the bottom of the relationship between Cici and his weapon. He understood that many people named their belongings and that there would be a sort of emotional attachment to said object. Cory named shit all the time. It just never came across as some kind of sultry love story.

Yet there was no denying the devastation it created when hitting these walking bones.

“Maybe we can run a zombie train?” Kopius suggested.

“Eh?”

Kopius motioned for them to start backing up.

“It’s from a video game I played.”

The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

“It’s always from a video game you played.”

“It's still applicable!”

“Let’s have it then.”

“Okay, basically, okay, first we—I—first, I get them to all follow me,” Kopius stammered. He found himself mildly excited to explain a video game strategy and actually have an attentive audience.

He took the briefest of moments to collect himself before continuing. “I get their attention and then get them to follow me. Once they do, I start moving in circles around them—tight circles. If I do it right, they will start to get bunched up in a tight group.” Cici nodded along, keeping one eye on the advancing skeletons. “If I was able to get them all really close together, you think Celeste there could do something with that?”

Cici’s nodding was joined by some eyebrow raising and then a widening grin. As the big man saw the plan unfold in his mind, he patted Kopius on the back.

“Yes, yes she could.”

Simple as the plan may be, there were still dangers involved. Kopius had to literally—and physically—walk the fine line between the skeletons wanting to follow him and the skeletons being able to grab ahold of him. Too far away and they returned to their line formation, too close and he was a pin cushion.

“This way gentlemen!’ Kopius shouted.

Even though Cici had stepped a decent distance away, five of the skeletons couldn’t resist following after him. Kopius had managed to coral nine, but if he stepped too far away to fetch the other five, well, things fell apart. He kept circling the nine while trying to coax the others.

“He doesn’t even like you!” Kopius shouted but to no avail. The skeletons just continued to shuffle along. “He thinks you’re all fat!”

“Is it because he’s better looking?” Kopius yelled, changing tactics.

“Much obliged,” Cici shouted from way in the background.

Kopius shushed Cici as best he could given the distance between them and then gave the big man hand motions to back up more. Cici went as far as he could, turned around and used two open palms pointing at his feet to ask ‘’far enough for you?”

“Okay, see, he left.” Kopius continued shouting at the skeletons. “You don’t want to eat him; you want to eat me!”

A voice, ever-so-soft, as though it were carried on the wind, whispered, ”They’re not zombies, lad!”

“He’s nothing but gristle and fat!” Kopius yelled at the skeletons.

Another, ever-so-soft voice on the wind came whispering through: ”That was uncalled for!”

Kopius gave the slightest chuckle before accepting that yelling wasn’t doing the trick. He decided to take a more direct approach. Leaving his otherwise perfectly formed zombie train to unravel, Kopius ran up on the closest of the five.

”Sparta!”

WHOOSH!

The skeleton went up in flames like it had been soaked in lighter fluid its whole life. Fortunately for Kopius, he had kicked the skeleton away from him or else he may have gotten badly burned. Unfortunately, four more WHOOSHES!! sounded off as the assaulted skeleton bounced off his compatriots in an attempt to stay on its feet.

Heat waves passed by Kopius, warming him considerably. Each went up in its own bout of flames before turning to face him. The five sets of burning bones advanced on Kopius, and he didn’t have time to reprimand himself.

If you were to ask him, he had no idea if human bones would catch on fire or not. It wasn’t like he had an internet to search these things either. Besides, on Earth, he wouldn’t have searched that shit anyways; that’s how you get put on a list.

Either the bones were flammable, or the contaminated water made them flammable—or both. Any way you slice it, the advancing flamers showed no signs of slowing. He looked over his shoulder and was surprised to see that the other nine skeletons had not reformed their line but instead moved in a huddled, collective mass. Some appeared to be hooked together by a random rib or two while others had crossed their arms and/or legs.

“In for a penny, in for a pound, I guess,” Kopus mumbled.

Unsure of the outcome and unwilling to think it through, Kopius brought the two groups together. Instead of nine individual WHOOSHES!! there was one massive, awe-inspiring WHOOSH!!!!.

The collective ignition sucked in air before exploding into a glorious firestorm. The force lifted Kopius off of his feet. He had only enough time to bring his arm up to protect his eyes before he was flung through the air.

Hitting the ground hard, Kopius rolled a few times before coming to a stop, face mushed in the muddy ground. “That hurt,” Kopus groaned aloud like he just took a punch to the stomach.

He could hear Cici’s loud tromping as he got to his feet. Kopius dusted himself off and then felt around his head, face, and every other part of his being to see if he had gotten burned; or blown off. He let out an audible sigh of relief after finding no missing or crispy parts. When he looked up to see where the danger was, his jaw went slack.

There were no skeletons to speak of. Instead, scattered across the entire shore were smoking, steaming, some still on fire pieces of shattered bones. It was like he had blown up a Burning Man statue or had exploded a coffin-sized box full of matches. The already dystopian-feel of the place was given the cherry-on-top it needed to really give the impression of hopelessness.

A dank, sulfuric smoke hovered throughout the area smelling of stale incense mixed with burnt out firework shells. Several blank windows popped in his vision and just as quickly he closed them.

Ding-dang.