''Are you going to anger me to death!?''
Li Ao cowered his head with both hands against the heavy fists of his grandfather as they flew over the capital. Passing over many tall pagodas and castles, he let out grunts and curses as bruises formed over his nape and back.
''I didn't do shit, you old geezer!''
''I'll make you shit, you bastard!''
''Ow! Ow, ow, ow! I didn't say anything wrong, why are you so mean!''
''She is a princess for heavens' sake! How can you touch her hands so casually!''
''I only complimented her nails—OW!''
A few dozen kilometers went past in a flash as they landed on the courtyard of the Li Noble Estate. The courtyard housed two lakes spanning a few hundred meters in width and length, and upon these lakes were platforms of lotus flowers where a few of Li Ao's cousins made merry among themselves. Once they heard the shouts, they stopped drinking wine and turned to face the two. Seeing his battered state and the red steam rising from their grandfather, all of them leapt into the lake to escape notice.
''You traitors!'' Li Ao shouted at them, but his grandfather still kept slapping him, so he shut up and let the old man carry him through the door. Inside of the house had little furnishing, but most of the walls kept portraits and family photos extracted from Memory Crystals. They went down a large stairs at the center of the estate, descended a few hundred meters of black void, and arrived at a gathering of cells.
Li Ao had only heard rumors about this dreadful place. Everywhere he looked were cells dangling from empty void, full of beasts that he dared not look directly. Some of them were dozens of meters high, with fangs as large as Li Ao himself. Below them, with only blue soulfire lighting their faint figures, were demons that shivered at the sight of his grandfather.
A cold air permeated the dungeons, and this chill penetrated through his fifth level Qi condensation realm cultivation with no obstruction. Li Ao's grandfather flew straight forward until he found a single empty cell with no one around and threw Li Ao inside. Li Ao tumbled inside the cell and its gates closed behind him.
''You good for nothing!'' His grandfather shouted. ''Stay there for a month and reflect on your mistakes!''
''Grandpa!''
The old geezer stopped a moment, but did not relent. He turned around and blinked out of existence, leaving Li Ao alone with the chill and empty void. Li Ao grasped the bars and pulled them but they did not even budge.
''What kind of dogshit material is this?''
He took a step back and revolved his Li family's martial arts, Scarlet Path. A raging flame enveloped his fist as he let out a shout and crashed onto the cell. The cell quaked, then a lightning formed on top of Li Ao's head and shot him down.
Bam!
Li Ao reeled on the ground in pain. ''You heartless geezer!''
It took him a few moments to steady himself and stand up. Looking around, Li Ao saw no one around to make a conversation and sighed. He had really done himself in this time.
His grandfather, as heartless as he was, had always doted on him because of his late parents. Both of them were geniuses in their own right, and his mother especially had a very high potential even in the eyes of the Great Wei Imperial Family. Unfortunately, both of them had died ten years ago in the attack of the Demon Realm, so he grew up alongside his cousins and grandfather.
Once, he had sworn to take revenge for them and poured his everything into cultivation. This attitude pained his grandfather and relatives, who wished for him to not take up such a burden at a young age, but Li Ao thought different. In a short three years, he reached the fourth level of Qi Condensation, shocking the entire Holy Capital. Then at his tenth birthday, he met a street seller who sold him a mortal novel.
Enraptured by the book, with tales of immortals and devils breaking boundaries of his wildest imagination, Li Ao was more incentivized to continue his cultivation. But that feeling went as quickly as it came. He read far too many novels, and he read far too many fates that seemed much more miserable than his own. This kind of understanding soothed the flames of revenge in his heart.
When he became thirteen, he had long forgotten his vow to take revenge for his parents. He became free of obsession. Now, he had no aims in his life but to live a rather simplistic life. In seven years, his cultivation had only moved up a single stage as well, earning the ire of his grandfather.
''He didn't even leave me a single book?''
Looking across the small cell that could house three people, he saw nothing to busy himself with. Then the chill of the dungeons became more evident and Li Ao felt his back turn numb. ''He duped me!''
Clearly, his grandfather was trying to force him to cultivate. Bittterness in his heart, Li Ao sat down cross-legged and started cultivating. His Li Family's cultivation method was quite simplistic—there was no need to focus on seperate meridians or organs, all they had to do was breath in the Qi and let it permeate the flesh and blood of his body.
With each breath, the cold invading Li Ao turned fainter. It took him an hour to repel all of it, then another hour for a warmth to spread inside his limbs. Inside the cold, empty space devoid of light, only Li Ao's breaths resounded. A few hours passed in his cultivation until he heard a sound in his mind.
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*ding*
''What? Grandpa?''
Li Ao turned around, but there was no one. Only a terrible darkness stared back at him.
*Found a compatible host, commencing inauguration*
''What?''
Li Ao heard the beating of a heart. The sound drowned all his other senses, and for a moment he found himself staring into a starry sky. Across myriads of stars in colours of a rainbow, he saw faint threads of red connecting each other. Then his vision sank like a body in a swam, and he found himself back in the cell.
Panting, his back drenched in sweat, Li Ao heard another voice in his mind.
*Congratulations, agent Li Ao! You have been chosen to be the 16.000.000.000th first-level agent of the Universal Will. Please receive the beginner's inauguration gift!*
*Received x1 Beginner's Gift Pack*
*Scanning the environment*
*Environment stable*
*Do you wish to transfer the contents?*
Li Ao blankly stared at the screen in front of his eyes. There were lines of text accompanying the golem-like mechanical sound, all written on a blue screen with white words.
''Is this that scenario?''
Then his blank look turned into that of joy.
''Hahahaha! I knew all those books were all real! How could someone bullshit three million words a piece?''
Standing up, Li Ao clapped his hands above his head , laughing like a madman until suddenly he sat down and put both hands on his chin.
''No, I am going to become an expert. Since I have a system, I should act like a proper Long Aotian, not a monkey.''
Then, as fitting the setting, he asked in his mind.
''System, transfer the contents!''
A gust of wind came in front of him, and a box appeared out of thin air. Li Ao grasped the bronze box and traveled his hand over the dragon patterns. It seemed exquisite and mysterious. From its plating, he could sense a sealing power like Jade Bottles used by alchemists.
''Good stuff! Can I keep the box, I wonder?''
Thinking so, he opened the lid of the box. With a flash of light, three items shot out and landed on the air.
As his gaze passed through, the mechanical voice sounded again, with a panel over each item showing their properties.
*Received three %100 purity Qi Gathering Pills*
*Received Mortal-Grade Phoenix Sword*
*Received Hundred-Faces Skin Mask*
Li Ao skipped the second item, placing the red-bladed sword beside his feet. His Li family had no shortage of Earth and Heaven grade weapons, let alone a few mortal grade ones. Instead he took the sparkling blue pills in his hand and stared at them.
The medicinal strength tickled his nose, and just smelling them caused his body to warm up with Qi.
''Good stuff! Isn't %100 purity pills a legend?''
Most alchemists could only make %60 or %70 percent purity pills, and this percentage went down with each increase in grade. Even Grandmaster Alchemists could only manage %85 percent.
He hid these pills, intending to investigate later, and turned his attention to the dried skin in front of him. It was full of brown and gray patches, with a circular shape like rotten leather. Li Ao, unwillingly, touched its edge, and the leather wrapped itself over his hand and merged under his skin.
Li Ao shook his hand, but nothing happened. Then he felt what this thing was capable of.
Pressing on his temples, Li Ao's handsome face contorted, twisted, and all his features broke down. In a few seconds his eyes had sunken, his cheekbones protruded, and his hair fell to make a splendid bald head.
Now, he looked exactly like his grandfather. There were a few flaws, like the bent nosebridge and thickness of the lips, but overall anyone could mistake him for his grandfather if they didn't look closely.
''This mask is amazing!''
Hundred-Faces Skin Mask could replicate hundred different faces from his memories, but its down-side was that he could not remove a face once he inscribed it into the Skin Mask.
*Damn trash, are you still looking through your stuff?*
Li Ao froze where he stood. Then his face paled at the thought that formed in mind.
''Don't tell me I got a shit-talking system?''
*...*
''Hey!''
*Sixteen years old, fifth-level of Qi Condensation. How the hell did you get picked? This is worse than those dog immortals*
''You are dog! All your ancestors are dog!''
*Oh? You don't say?*
Li Ao felt something squeeze him, then his figure disappeared from the cell.
*********
Li Ao woke up under a tree, and he smelled a kind of sweet ammonia down his nose. His chest wet, and not recognizing the scenery, Li Ao quicky sat up and saw a huge tiger raising its leg, peeing on him.
Li Ao and the Tiger's gaze met. The two looked at each other, one peed, the other got peed on, and after a few seconds the tiger let down its leg. It turned around, smelled at Li Ao, who stood as still as a rock, and growling sat down a few steps away. Its yellow eyes were on him, studying his figure.
''I am a rock. In the history of rocks, I am the most rock of all rocks. I study the path of rocks, and I am the dao of rock...''
Li Ao profusely repeated these phrases, controlling each of his muscles to not even twitch.
Suddenly, the tiger sprung up from its positions and stood face to face with Li Ao. The whiskers caressed Li Ao's face as their eyes stared into each other as lovers might do in bed. His body heat rising from the accelearted heartbeat, Li Ao followed the tiger's head.
The animal turned around him, and Li Ao's gaze followed it. Then the tiger stood infront again, staring at him from left and right, and Li Ao's pupils imitated the movement.
That seemed to give him away.
''ROAR!''
The tiger leaped onto him with both claws in front, and Li Ao let out a girly scream. He punched forward, cycling Scarley Path martial art through his meridians. A ball of flame enveloped his fist and clashed with the claws.
*Crack*
The claws broke and melted, and Li Ao's fists penetrated the tiger's hard skin right into its heart. The flame exploded inside its belly, and with a boom the tiger burst into a shower of flesh and blood.
''Aaah! Haa! Haa!'' Li Ao let out deep breaths and moved the blasted corpse away from him. Drenched in blood and guts, tasting iron in his mouth, he stood up.
*Puhahahaha!*
The detestable voice invaded his mind again.
*Damn trash, aren't you ruthless? Good work. You have thirty seconds for post-mission clean-up*
''What the fuck do you mean, dog?''
*Alright, you go back now.*
His vision swam again, and Li Ao found himself back in the cell with all the blood and guts on him.
''This...''
He was really teleported?
''What did you do to me!?''
*I only teleported you to the site of mission. Oh, look, your rewards are here.*
Li Ao forgot all grievances at the word reward and turned to face the blinking screen. There were a few notifications he had missed.
*Inauguration Mission: In the village of Shouyo, a heaven's child is about to be born. Stop the demonic tiger from descending the mountain. Reward: 1 spirit stone.*
*Teleported to the world of Six-Fold Immortal Domain*
*Eliminated a Wild Tiger, awarding 2 Universal Coins*
*Mission Accomplished, consult your superior for post-mission clean-up*
*Returning to host's world*
*Do you wish to transfer the contents of the rewards?*
Li Ao scanned them in a flash, and a dozen thoughts went in his head. The most immediate one, however, made him lose his temper.
''You, you are not the system?''