----------------------------------------

Barnak

----------------------------------------

Chapter Fifteen: Soliloquy of the Fallen – Part One

Galactic Quadrant: Darna Quadrant

Ruling Government: Talum Merchant Federation

Solar System: D-447

Planet: Ora

Location: Beneath the planet's surface, Naro City, Yul Clan Assembly Hall

----------------------------------------

There is a song that my mother used to sing to me as a boy, it has been nearly forty years since I last heard it. Have I truly been alive for fifty-three years? Time passes so quickly the older you get. I remember as a boy I was always in a hurry to grow up. No one ever thought I would rise to be the chief of a Clan, certainly not me. The song plays in the back of my mind now as I ruminate on my failings. Two of my sons are dead, the last soon to follow them.

“Father, please… do not let them win.” My son Keno pleads.

My hand grasps his head into my chest, like when he was a child. There is deep regret in me for not disciplining him more. I knew he was not fit to lead, yet I pushed it on him and my other children, despite the old Clan chief's warning. I did not heed him as I ought. His words ring in my ears, mixing with the melody of the somber song.

Our children are precious to us, but it does not mean they are fit to lead

He was a wise man, wiser than me. He would not have failed the Clan as I have. There were warning signs, I knew them well. Yet, I did not heed those either. I kept thinking that someday Keno and the others would learn, until then I decided I must protect their honor. It was all in vain. My son weeps now, but I do not think he understands the lesson. It is not the time to chastise him though, soon he will leave this world. The least I can do as his father is comfort him, it is my fault he is here. My children were my greatest joy… and my greatest failing.

“The other tribes are almost here,” Yuri says to the usurper Nekam, he glances at me for a moment then averts his eyes.

“What of the ones trapped in the mines?” Nekam asks him.

Yuri nods, glancing back at me for a moment “Dekarn has sent word. Two-thirds of those with the weapons wait by the exit as ordered.”

My chest tightens as I worry about those in the mines. Nekam has prepared well. I can only hope the casualties will be low. With my children dead, they are without a leader, hopefully, they will not throw their lives away. It would only deepen the shame of my failings.

***

Hours pass, and Nekam does not have me bound, he is trusting in my honor, as I have trusted in his. Though at this point there is little I could do, he has secured all of the weapons and bound my loyal guard. It pains me to think it, but perhaps he will be better than I at leading the Clan. The way his loyal look to him is something any leader would be envious of. When did they stop looking at me this way? How many seasons have I slipped and become what I am now… a failure.

My focus shifts over to the Ulima boy who I will fight. He meditates on the mats, there is diligence in him. What is it they called him… Kalon? I have seen his prowess on the mats. Not even in his prime yet and he is the best fighter of our Clan. He must wonder why I chose him. I too wonder why. Perhaps it is that it would be fitting, he is Nekam’s blade. No, that is not it. It is my pride’s last protest. I would see with my own hands how he bested my warriors. I would know his blade’s song.

The other tribes are almost all here now. Among them, I find relief in seeing familiar faces. Though their numbers are fewer than I had hoped. How many families will weep because of my failings… too many this night. The weight is heavy upon my shoulders. If I had killed Nekam and the others, the numbers of the dead would have been more though. There is some solace in this, even if it is bitter.

Those that return, their eyes do not meet mine as I look out amongst them. Some blame me for their losses, as they should, I am—or was—their leader. Others look away in shame, feeling as though they have failed me. There is a hole forming in my heart as the regrets rise and I know that soon my last child will be sent beyond the veil.

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

My knees feel wobbly as my grandson Henek comes through the crowd. I lean toward my son Keno’s ear.

“Your son needs you to show strength. Do not let his last memories of you be as you are now.”

Keno looks at me, tears still filling his eyes. With my hands I wipe them, kissing his forehead.

“Do not leave this world with only regret,” I say.

“I am only regret…” Keno says, looking towards Nekam now “and hatred.”

My heart pangs as I hear this. I squeeze him tightly.

“Do not fail him as I have failed you.” I plead.

Keno buries his face in my shoulder, wiping his tears on me as his hands are bound.

“Father!” Henek yells, rushing to Keno, his eyes swelling with tears. His jaw is nearly healed now. Though I can tell that speaking still pains him.

“Be strong boy.” Keno says, mustering the strength to do what he must “Be strong for me.”

“Father…” Henek says, choking back the tears.

My heart is breaking as I see him hug his father one last time.

“Nekam!” Keno yells, straightening himself “I am ready.”

Nekam looks at me for a moment, there is pain in my heart as he steps forward to Keno.

There is a hushing in the crowd as all who can fit have gathered.

“Keno stands accused of marching upon my tribe with the intent to kill. This is against the laws of the Clan.” Nekam says, he paces around Keno now “How say you?”

Keno looks at me, my jaw is tight as I nod to him. He looks to his son, mouthing our word for strength before he faces Nekam.

“Let me stand,” Keno says, unable to do so on his own, with the tendons of his heels cut. Nekam motions for others to help him.

There is pride mixing with heartbreak as Keno stands proud as a man of honor.

“I admit my guilt.” Keno says, then locking eyes with his son “I accept my punishment, I only ask it does not fall upon my children.”

“Let it be known, your sins were your own. No hand is to fall upon Keno’s children or tribe for his actions.” Nekam says, handing him a shard of Etherium. Allowing him to give what Maka he has for the Clan.

Netheric lines flicker across Keno’s skin as he pushes what he has into the stone. Sweat forms on his brow as the dark ichor rises.

“The Clan accepts the offering of your Maka and your life as tribute for your crimes.” Nekam says, pulling his blade “Go in peace knowing your children will thrive.”

The blade plunges into Keno’s heart, his eyes growing wide, but he fights against the fear, looking into his son’s eyes, and showing him strength. My heart grows colder as the life fades from his eyes. They place him on an embroidered linen, they will give him the right of the pyre. Another kindness Nekam has shown. One that I would not have.

My knees buckle as I fall to the ground upon them. Clutching my chest, there is so much sadness in me. So much regret. My eyes look towards Henek, my grandson. His eyes are hollow as they look upon his lifeless father. I must stand, I must find strength, he should not see me like this.

There is a hand that grips gently beneath my shoulder, pulling me up slowly. As I turn to look, I see it is the Ulima boy, the one they call Kalon. He does not shame me with his gaze upon my weakness, he averts his eyes until I am steady on my feet, moving away from me, returning to his meditations. A strange Ulima, showing compassion to his enemy. When I was Ulima, I never would have.

“Clan Chief Barnak will speak now,” Nekam says over the voices of the crowd.

There is a hollowness growing in me as I look out at all the faces, most do not meet my eyes. It was not long ago that these same eyes would have met mine. When did it begin? The failings which have led to my fall. Words scarcely wish to find my mouth, seeing my child die, I find myself wishing to jump into the chasm. No parent should outlive their child. Tears threaten to form, but with the last of my strength, I hold them back. I will not further fail the Clan by dying a coward. I must meet my failings and help to provide a peaceful transition. This is all that I can give and give it I must.

“Four hundred years our Clan has survived.” I say, looking out at all of them, in a way, they are my children too, so I give them my strength “Do not let my death lead to more death.”

The silence is deafening as the eyes begin to look upon me finally.

“Nekam has won the right to be the Clan’s Chief, do not conspire against him. Give him the chance to show you the path to thrive.” I say, my grandson’s eyes are still upon his father, I must be strong for him “The Yul tribe has lost many this day, do not dishonor them by destroying what they spent a lifetime building. Nekam is now your leader, accept this, accept him.”

Nekam remains silent, allowing me to speak still. A man of his word to the end. I can only hope he does better than me.

“I give him my title and my tribe, declaring him the Yul Clan Chief. He has assured me that you will thrive. To honor him is to honor me. I beg you, find peace and come together.” I say, the eyes meet me now, those who are most loyal have a glistening to their eyes “The Yul Clan does not fall this day, it rises anew, ready to soar to greater heights.”

Nekam pounds his chest in rhythm, as is our way at the changing of leaders, it is the last honor given to the old. Again, he surprises me. There is some hope that he will keep his promises.

“Barnak has spoken.” Nekam says, looking to the crowd “Is there any among you who challenge it?”

Henek grits his teeth, but his mother holds him back. I am thankful to her for it. There is silence in the crowd.

“Then it holds.” I say, moving to Nekam, embracing his arm for the last time, it pains me to hold it, taking everything I have to not claim the hand that slew my son, I pull him in closer “Do not fail them as I have.”

Nekam pulls me in closer still, his eyes meeting mine, they are not cold like I expected. There is almost a tinge of sadness in them. He embraces me fully now, leaning into my ear.

“I take no pleasure in this.” He whispers, gripping me tighter “When I was Ulima, you took me in. For many years you were a father to me. I promise you this, your descendants and the Clan will thrive. On my honor. On my life. I will see it rise, beyond the outer gates.”

My heart twists at his words, I can hear the somberness in his voice. It is true that I took him and his brothers in after their father was slain. After the rest of their old tribe was slaughtered and sold to the four winds. I helped him track down his mother, freeing her from bondage. My teeth grind. Were he not the Clan’s best chance at surviving, I fear my anger at his betrayal would outweigh my hope for the tribe. Still, despite all of my anger, and all of my sadness. There is some pride in me, that this adopted son was not among my failings.

“Make peace with your Gods.” Nekam says, pushing me away slowly “It is time to meet them.”

The song my mother used to sing me, plays on my mind again as I kneel to pray, asking the Gods to bless the Clan and my descendants.