Meet Mortimer. Say hi, Mortimer. "Hi!" Mortimer is dead. "What? What do you mean I'm dead?!" The story follows a failed adventure named Mortimer as he dies. Well mostly. Now, he is an undead zombie, and boy is he hungry. Read along as he chews on his enemies and grows stronger and (occasionally) smarter.   This is my first attempt at writing a real story. I expect it to be bad. You should too. If you don't like it, please be constructive with your criticism. If by some miracle it's not the worse thing you've ever read...then yay?