It turns out a glass body is not particularly designed for people clothes. Noli lends me a pair of her slacks first, but since my body is held together with a series of Chain spells instead of muscles and ball-and-socket joints, there isn’t really a waist to cinch the belt around. Zyneth also offers me a shirt, but it hangs loose about my thin glass limbs, making me look like some kind of emaciated crane—and that’s when it’s not trying to slide right off my body. Turns out lack of friction—or a neck—doesn’t help.

Eventually, Rezira gives a grumbling sigh at all our attempts. “You all aren't going about this right. We need to be working with the body he has, not the body he should have." Gee, thanks for the reminder. "Here, let me try.” She produces a moth-eaten cloak from the back of their wardrobe and gives it a good shake—sending all lung-owning parties in the room into a coughing fit. Heh. Suckers.

Rezira pats off the dust. “It's a little old.” A little?! “But it should do for now.”

She drapes the cloak around me, hooking the ends around the knobs of glass I'd formed on my shoulders for the necklace chain to fix to. She uses a pin and a bit of twine to tie the cloth in place.

“Alright. See if that stays,” she says.

I carefully lift my arms. The cloth pulls a little at my shoulders, but at least it’s not sliding off. I feel a little more clothed now, even though it's really only covering my arms and back. I mean, I’m not really naked, considering there’s nothing to cover up. But damn, it’s sure good to feel like an actual member of society again.

I pivot in a circle, flapping the cloak dramatically around me just to see how it holds—and, okay, maybe because I like the flair. “What do you think?”

Noli claps her hands. “It’s perfect!”

“It’s not exactly pants,” Zyneth says. “But it’s a good idea.”

Rezira steps back, hands on her hips. She gives me a stiff nod. “It suits you.”

Noli beams. “Look at you! Look at how far you’ve come.”

“Not far enough,” I sign, and her smile falters. The look stings me with regret.

“Sorry,” she signs before I have a chance to say the same. “You’re right. But I’m proud of you anyway.”

Rezira breaths a heavy sigh out her nose. “So you’re really heading out then?”

“We should be on the road in the next hour,” Zyneth says, glancing at the window. Mid-morning light fills the cottage with an orange warmth. “I’d prefer to make it to Bluevine by late afternoon, so we may find somewhere to stay in Miasmere before nightfall.”

“Makes sense,” Rezira says. “You need any supplies? Here. Let me pack you something.”

“Oh, that won’t be necessary,” Zyneth objects.

Rezira engulfs his hand and a good portion of his arm in an iron grasp and pulls him away. “I insist.”

Noli chuckles as Zyneth is forcefully steered toward the supplies Rezira has meticulously laid out and is now beginning to explain, packing them away one by one. Noli turns back to me. Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes.

“Is it selfish of me?” Noli signs. “I’m sad to see you go.”

My soul aches with her words. “I’ll come back.” I don't know how long it will take, but I'm certain I'll see her again.

“You better,” she signs teasingly. Then she looks down at her hands, fidgeting. “But… if you do find a way home, I’ll understand if you take it. I want to apologize for the other day. You were right. It’s not my place to ask you to stay. What you’re experiencing, how you’re living right now, I can tell how hard it is on you. You deserve your real body. The one that makes you happy. And I’m sure you are eager to get home.” She laughs sadly at that. “You know, the whole time we were journeying together, I kept thinking of Rezira, and how worried she must be, and how I couldn’t wait to get home to see her. But I never stopped to think about how you were probably feeling the same. I’m sure there’s loved ones you’re eager to reunite with as well.”

“I…”

There’s not.

It’s like a slap to the face. What do I have? An estranged dad, a handful of ex-boyfriends, some work buddies, but…

No one. There’s no one waiting for me.

The realization sits hollow in my soul.

“It’s okay,” Noli signs with a comforting smile. “I understand. And I hope you find a way back to them soon.” She takes my hands and gives them a gentle squeeze. She lets go just as quick. “Here. Even if you are coming back, I wanted to give you something to remember me by.” Noli turns away, fetching something from between the bookshelf and the bed. She returns with a leather satchel. There’s a simple design burned into the surface: a small vial of ink.

I sign laughter. “Please tell me that’s not me.”

Noli grins. “I wasn’t finished yet. I didn’t expect you to head out so soon. But I knew you’d be needing this eventually, so…”

She flips the top open, revealing my two spell books nestled inside. “You’ll have to carry these yourself, now.” She also points out where Trenevalt’s beaded bracelet—half the beads lit—hangs from one of the clasps like a charm. There’s a thin sleeve on the back as well, where she’s stored a slate and some chalk. “For speaking with Zyneth. He’s getting better, but his signs aren’t as good as yours, yet. I know you’re still learning to write, but I thought it might come in handy.”

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

“Thank you.” I’m truly touched. Even if she didn’t want me to go, she’s been planning for it all along. I hold out my hands, and she passes me the bag.

I stagger forward, dropping it to the floor.

“Oh! Are you alright?” Noli asks.

I try to hoist the bag up, but I can’t even lift it. My arms aren’t strong enough.

One trend I’ve figured out through trial and error (mostly error) is that I can levitate my Attuned glass at will: However, at most, they can only carry something equal to half their own weight before it becomes too heavy and they’re no longer able to float.

The cloak isn’t an issue, given the whole body’s worth of glass supporting it. But it looks like the satchel exceeds my arms’ limit.

I could laugh. Two books. Two books! This is pathetic.

Crouching down to floor level, I loop the strap over a shoulder and stand back up. This time, the force of my body, instead of just my arms, is enough to lift it. Problem solved.

The stupidest problem solved.

“I’ve got it,” I tell Noli, who’s still fretting over me. “I just have… ah… differences with this body I still need to learn.”

“Nuance?” she suggests.

I copy the sign. “Nuances to learn.” Lots and lots of ‘em.

“I know you’ll figure it out,” she signs. Noli’s gaze traces over my body and sticks on my legs. “Those shadows…”

“Yes.” I’m surprised she can even make it out. In the daylight, the void nestled into each joint is almost indistinguishable from shadows if you didn’t know any better. Of course, Noli does, and she has sharp eyes to boot. I hadn’t explicitly told her and Rezira how I mastered walking overnight, but it was only a matter of time until she noticed. “The null magic.”

Noli’s lips press together. “That’s what’s helping you walk?”

“Yes.” I wearily brace myself for the scolding.

“I’m glad,” Noli says, looking back up at me with a smile. “I’m glad to see you embracing it instead of shunning it. It’s not evil, you understand? It’s just another type of magic.”

“You said that before.” Back when I had to use it to save her. And maybe… maybe now I’m in more of a mindset to hear it. I’m not sure I’m completely trusting yet, but it does just seem to be inert magic. Granted, magic the predator had been wielding. But now it answers to me, and if I’m stuck with this black goo, I might as well make use of it.

“And you’re right,” I sign. “You usually are.”

She chuckles. “All this old age makes me wise.”

Wait. How old is she? She doesn’t look a day over twenty, but I guess she is an elf. They live forever, right? I’d just never really given it any thought before.

Echo? I ask.

[Age: 46]

What the shit.

Noli steps back, looking me up and down, then gives an appreciative nod. “Good luck on your adventures, Kanin the wizard.”

That rings even stranger than Noli’s age. How has this become my life?

“Thank you,” I sign to Noli as Zyneth heads back over with his pack newly stocked with all of Rezira’s supplies. “For… for everything.”

Noli rubs at her eyes. “If you have a chance, come back here before you go?”

I nod—wow. It feels great to be able to nod again. “Of course.” After all, there’s no hurry. My first priority is to figure out a way to retrieve my body. Going home is a separate, more confusing issue. Maybe they’ll be one and the same, or maybe I’ll find a way to be able to magic my body here.

The thought gives me pause. Is that what I want? To live as a human here instead of back on Earth? To leave everyone I’ve ever known, every place I’ve ever seen, my career, behind? I don’t know if I have an answer to that.

But I don’t need to, yet. I’ll have plenty of time to sort through these thoughts after I find a solution to the body dilemma.

Plenty of time.

“Well,” Zyneth says, pulling me out of my uncertainty. “Is there anything else you need to grab before we leave?”

“No,” I sign, resting a hand against the satchel Noli made for me. Besides the beads and books, I don’t really own anything. Just the glass and void that makes up my body—and since I don’t need to eat or sleep, there’s no food or bedrolls to pack. “I think I’m ready.”

“What are those?” Rezira abruptly cuts in, pointing at me.

I glance to my side. “What?”

“Those!” She reaches out and tugs on my signing glass, which I’d been using to talk in place of the hands actually attached to my body. Unlike the pieces that are connected to my arms, each section of each finger long and round, Chained together to mimic human hands, my signing glass is dozens and dozens of smaller fragments, all clustered together to make a hand shape. More like sand and pebbles than skin and bones.

I wiggle my signing glass. “Back-up hands.”

Rezira snorts. “You need to practice signing with the ones on your body. Two disembodied hands floating next to you is just weird.”

“It wasn’t weird when I was small,” I object.

“Yes it was,” Rezira says.

I look helplessly at Noli and Zyneth.

“It was a little abnormal,” Noli says. “But, everything about our experience was abnormal!”

“I found it quite bizarre when I first encountered it,” Zyneth says, as blunt as ever. “And I must agree with Rezira, it is definitely an unusual sight even now. Your form will already draw quite a bit of attention in the city.”

Slightly offended, I tuck my signing glass away in the folds of my cloak. Out of sight, but there’s no way I’m getting rid of them—not after everything we’ve been through. “There. Happy?”

“Ecstatic,” Rezira deadpans.

“Just be careful out there,” Noli signs. “Listen to Zyneth. He’s more familiar with our world than you.”

What am I, a child?

“And you take care of him,” Noli adds, this time to Zyneth. “I’d tell you to make sure he doesn’t break, but he does that a lot, so just make sure he can still be put back together again.”

“I will do my best to prevent dire breakages,” Zyneth says with a chuckle.

“Oh!” Noli throws her arms around me, pulling me into a hug. She still feels so frail, even weeks after her recovery. But the hug is gentle and warm, and fills me with unexpected emotions I can’t quite identify. If I had human anatomy, I think I’d be getting choked up. How long has it been since anyone’s hugged me? It was at least before I left Earth. Long, long before.

She pulls back. “I’m bad at goodbyes. Stay safe out there. Don’t doubt yourself. You’re stronger than you think.”

I decide not to point out how this seems to be in direct conflict with her previous fretting. “We’ll be fine. You take care, too.”

Rezira wraps an arm around Noli as they follow us to the door. The sun is filtering through the trees, bright and cheerful as we step away from the cabin, the women hanging back in the doorframe. For once I regret not having my omni-vision, wishing I could watch them even as I focus carefully on maneuvering the path before me. When we reach the end of the glade I stop to look back. Noli waves, and I return the gesture. My soul feels tight, despite it hanging loosely over my chest. A wave of uncertainty washes over me. For a moment I want nothing more than to turn back, back to these friends and this simple, comforting life. Back toward stability and familiarity.

“Kanin?” Zyneth asks. I look back to find him waiting for me.

The doubt passes. I flex my hand into a fist, the glass clinking against each other. No. When I come back here, it’ll be in my own body.

I step after Zyneth, striking out into the woods, as we leave the cabin behind.