Background - Must See TV...False Positive Exam™

Dr. C. Cat — Please explain your False Positive Exam™, Doctor Halpern.

Dr. Otto Von Halpern — Oh, I would love to (big smile) explain MY exam to you and your viewing audience. (He sits back in his chair and opens his hands) The False Positive Exam™ eliminates the chance of a freak occurrence of outliers along the congenital boarder and with the Bosin-Higgs particle. Typically, when you have the Dancing Broom Test latent energy has the possibility to be built up after prolonged exposure to latent subatomic which can make it perform abnormal actions along the CB-1.

Dr. C. Cat — In Barney-style and crayon, please.

Dr. Otto Von Halpern — I assumed that your intelligence quotient was at a FIVE star rating!

Dr. C. Cat — It is good Doctor, but you failed to establish your operational definitions of the nomenclature you have put forth to the viewing audience. This helps us and our viewing audience understands the basics of what you are communicating, and for the record, I am technically at a 5.7 out of 5 rating.

Baroness Charlotte Anastasia of Clan McQuirre — someone didn’t do proper research, minus 0.7 points off your final grade!

Dr. Otto Von Halpern — (Clears his throat) Well, think of it as programming a code into a machine, and the machine suddenly becomes aware….

Dr. C. Cat — Many of the members of our viewing audience have only a working knowledge of the concept, good Doctor. Please restate, it’s a colony world thing.

Dr. Otto Von Halpern — (Sighs) When you have an object or area that’s exposed over and over by magic, physic or even (clears his throat) special internal abilities over a prolonged period of time the system absorbs these properties. The False Positive Exam™ not only eliminates latent energy in a given area and/or object but creates a temporary null field….

Baroness Charlotte Anastasia of Clan McQuirre — You do realize the risks of prolonged exposure to the null field eliminates the ability the CB-1 to react to any psychic or magic influence right? It can create a semi-permanent magic-dead zone and….

Dr. C. Cat — Did someone order cheese to go with the whine? Save your rage for your patchouli burning coven. Please continue Doctor Halpern.

Dr. Otto Von Halpern — (clasps his hands together to reorganize his thoughts) Where was I, oh yes. The null field, which is only temporary (glares back at the Baroness) and allows the person being tested to act on the object or given area. The exam is also used to sanitize corrupted areas and used extensively by the Inquisition.

Dr. C. Cat — That makes more sense, good Doctor, now we will take a quick break…

***

I woke up with a throbbing headache. It was not from too much Lazer-88, but from hitting my head on the plasma gun Anna had hidden under my pillow.

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Working myself out of the bed and decided to make bacon and eggs for breakfast. After the impromptu party last night Lee and Abby crashed on my couch, Henna took up half my bed and Anna was curled up on a palette she made from blankets and pillows somewhere in her room.

The empty bottles of Lazer-88 clinked together as I picked them up. Tipping one of the bottles, I accidently knocked it over and it rolled off under the couch. Reaching for it, I discovered the book Anna next to some old yarn.

I thumbed through the musty old tome. As I turned the dirty brown pages, I noticed they were all blank.

“What in the Abyss?” whispering to myself, “there was shit in this yesterday.”

Placing my fingertips on the pages leaning closer, and as I did letters emerged into the page. After a few seconds pictures began to form on the page. As if I touched a hot stove I pulled my hand back, and the writing and pictures faded as quickly as they appeared.

Just as my curiosity started to motivate me to hunt for the book’s author, than some asshole knocked at the door. I closed the book and shoved it back here I found it. It was hidden away like Troll Porn stash (long story). Someone knocked again.

“Ooopen, up we’re late!” called the voice.

It sounded like Angel Eyes.

“Keep your space suit on, I’m coming!” I hollered back.

Opening the door Angels Eyes was standing there looking like he was expecting his welfare check.

“We need to goo,” he blurted out all at once while pointing to his watch.

I knew there was no point dragging this out anymore. Breakfast would have to wait.

“How many tabs of UP! do we have to push?” I asked, not really caring.

I knew I could sell them in an hour or less if I pushed my charm.

“100, I can’t give’em to you. You’re da face-man an’ I’m playin distributer justin’ case Commisars are muckin’ ‘bout.” He muttered as we rushed down the old stairs of the apartment building.

“It’s cause Akuma doesn’t trust me, isn’t it?” I asked.

“Probably, that would be my guess,” Angel Eyes replied.

When you makes Up! the baker typically has to flavor it with some kind of flavoring because without it the base components will make you vomit your kidneys up. If you cut it too much it lowers the effectiveness, and you still vomit your kidneys up. Each baker had their own style for cutting and purity levels. Some bakers were better than others.

“Who’s da baker?” I asked.

He rubbed his forehead for a moment “I dink it was Akuma,”

“Fuck, this shit’s gonna smell like old leather,” I replied back.

We made our ways to the corner and most of the street was sectioned off with uniformed Commissars, guys in black suits and mirror shades, and even a few Church Inquisitors. Priests in robes were casting cleansing rites.

“Fuck, we’re too close to the airlock wit all this shit we got?” Angel Eyes whispered.

“We’re going to Herman park, follow me,” keeping my voice low.

There was a small crowd gathered around watching the law and Church do their job. The suits were interviewing people. We quickly left before unwanted attention. One of the few things about life in the ghetto, no one was going to talk, snitches get stitches and end up in ditches.

All the way there I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was being watched. More than once I glanced over my shoulder.

Angel Eyes had to reassure me that nothing was there several times. He has the psychic ability of wytch sight. This gave you the ability see the invisible, ghosts, surveillance systems, UV, infrared and even see auras.

Unfortunately, for the user this typically pops blood vessels after prolonged use. Angel Eyes, how he got his name, had some kind of Angelic blood somewhere in the past allowed him to use his wytch sight without running horrible side effects.

This made him the go-to guy when we needed a lookout or spotter. The only problem is that it gave him headaches when he used it long periods of time.