Long, long time ago in a world called... Well... World. There was a continent of magic and wonders called Farcrya. Its name originated from Farcryne - the energy that was a core of every magic and wonders and other... stuffs. They say that the one who introduced magic to the people of Farcrya was a mysterious and powerful fage called Farcron. He just appeard one day and said: 

- Me hungry - you food - me magic thou give.- 

Unfortunetly Farcryiens weren't a hospitable nation at that time and declined fages offer... Which caused a war in which died one apple, three carots, two onions and almost a half of Farcrya population.

War later called the Food War was the most bloody war and un/natural disaster that ever took a place in its long history. It finally came to an end when one of the poor farmers gave an aple to a starving man laying on their field. The Apple Man - how he was later called was admitted as a hero and with time as a king of Farcrya. He was also the first man that learned magic from Farcron. From that time apple is considererd a symbol of peace and national emblem.   After not-so-hungry-anymore fage tought every single citizen of Farcrya some magic he dissapeard. No one knew where and between us two... No one really cared. They were too busy killing each other with newly attained magic and showing their domination to the rest of the world.

And so - eight hundreds years later, in the late winter of year 1562 of Radiant calendar a boy was born... A boy with white hair and unbelivable talent for magic. Far greater than anyone else before...

But no. This is not where our story begins. How could it? No it couldn't of course! In the same year slightly on the east from Farcrya continet in a small and poor continent called Sucks. Yeah - SUCKS. Another boy was born... With poor magic talent and even poorer potential in anything else. Yet. This one boy was ment to unfold secret... Long forgotten secret... For long. For Long, long... Long, long, long. Maybe a little too long - but who cares? Why won't we start with the story already?

...Western part of Sucks continent...

...Tobeyou Kingdom, Moron village...

...1st Januar 1562, 06:21...

...Mission...

...Infiltrate the enemy base...

As the sun was climbing up above the Moron village a slightly loud noise could be heard within the walls of a tiny muddy hut. Who could be that loud at this time of a day you ask? Well. Why won't you hear for yourself:

-FUUUUUCK!!!-

-Push Adrenalina! Push!-

Just as the last "push" was heard a short man in a white apron flew through a window crashing into a wall with a loud thump.

-...but not me... the child...-  You could hear silent words spoken with a large effort. Too large for that small man if you ask me. But... You wouldn't ask me would you?

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

-FUUUUUCK!!!- Another scream - and this time a tiny bloody figure flew through the window followed by a strange pink wire... Yeah... We all know what kind of wire was that.

Short man in white seeing what was comming - with his last bit of energy jumped to catch the little thing.

He missed... A child... A FREAKING newborn child. Flew past him and hit the wall... Only to bounce back and fly in which it came.

At this point the man in white climbed already through window and was heading back to the red-haired woman laying on the table.

-Where is the child!?- He asked with visible concerne.

-I don't know. Somwhere???- Answered annoyed woman. -It's not that it's my fault that you told me to push it isn't it?-

Doctor frowned but didn't let himself lost focus.

-Daddy? Am I a daddy?- Asked a... White skeleton in full plate armor standing near the woman? What the heck?

Doctor frowned once again only to this time lose his focus and be hit by the child falling from the celling. This time - he did catch it. Uff... Thanks god.

-You... You have a boy Mrs. Adrenalina - Mr. Gunthor...-

The woman looked suspicious while the skeleton was... Smiling? Crying? Doing what? You may not know this but it's actually very hard to interpret the facial expressions of a... skeleton. Mostly because it HAS NO FRIGGING FACE!

-How do you know that?- She asked.

-Yhm what?- Asked the doctor while trying to get rid of a strange pink wire that the child was trying to... strangle him with.

-How do you know that he is a boy?-

...

At that moment everyone in the room went quiet. Even the child stopped strangling the doctor and looked at its mother in silence.

-...Because he has short hair?- Said the doctor carefully.

The doctor, the child and the skeleton was staring fully of tension at the woman as if wondering - will she buy it? Will she?

-Aha...-

All of them let out a long sigh. And before she could point out that girls also are born with short or no hair at all doctor swiftly interrupped her placing the child in her hands. Somehow the pink wire was no longer attached to the doctor - instead the skeleton was completly boun with it like a christmas tree.

-So what are you gonna name it?- Added fast the doctor.

-Heck! I'm tired. I was borning that creature for almost four hours! Let's just call it baby and get over it.-

-Honey. I don't think that there is such a word as "borning"-

-Oh shut up! I know what I was doing for that last four hours and that was definitly "borning a child". And the author is not a native english-speaker so those kinds of jokes are just supid considering he just made a mass of gramatical and spelling errors in this chapter.- Said rudely red-haired woman that will probably die very soon...

-Ok! Sorry! Your jokes are the best!- Said maybe not so short-living woman.

Doctor just stared and breathe deeply as if used to those kind of situations.

-Sorry. But you can't name your baby - "baby". Ok? That's not allowed...-

The woman took her child in her arms and looked closely at it before smiling. She knew of one name that was fitting the best what she saw in its eyes.

-Are you sure I can't name it "baby"?- 

In the room you could hear no less than three face-palms. Well maybe two - considering that one of the noble face-palmers has no face and the other was a newborn baby.

-Keiner kann aus seiner Haut raus- muttered doctor to himself... Yeah. As you just noticed - HE IS.

-Oh! Kainer! I like that. What do you think Gunthor?-

-Adrenalina! That's splendid! I'm a dady! Kainer my little boy! You will be a fine sorcerer one day - I tell ya! We gonna cast spells everywhere! On everything!-

-Gunthor... You are an undead paladin. Not a sorcerer...- said Adrenalina crushing his... hopes?

Gunthor looked... Sad? Resigned? Happy? Angry? You couldn't really tell - CAUSE HE HAS NO FRIGGIN FACE.

-Oh... I... I get it. I... I had that dream you know...-

Doctor just scribed with a long mud-pen on a mud-paper a name "Kainer" and left. He had no strength to deal with those mad people. Sun climbed higher and higher as if greeting the new arrival on this world leaving all screams and cursing of now waking villagers. And as that the Moron village just gain one new member.

If only people knew back then how much trouble that member will bring one day...