I BIT MY TONGUE. There was a way out of this—there is always a way out of any situation possible. If that was true, then why was it so goddamn hard to find a good lie in time? Seraph was wailing within my head of my stupidity as I pondered some more.
Time to act for an Oscar, I thought with conclusion.
Like I had when Avery questioned me about the mud, I moved my hand to the place where she was pointing to, which had to be my neck, a blind spot.
I rubbed two fingers along the spot, feeling the dry blood off my skin as I pulled away and 'analyzed' the blood.
"Hmm, I dunno? Maybe the branch cut me or something." I played it off, continuing to wipe the blood off my skin. Some of it came off and the rest smeared even more. Anxiety ripped through me as it kept smearing and smearing, all whilst Avery was giving me a weird look.
I raised my hand. Miss Greene raised an eyebrow and allowed me to speak. "May I use the ladies' room?" I made sure to ask in what she calls the 'appropriate' way as I really didn't want any other problems.
Miss Greene puckered her lips as she thought about it. Most likely pissed that I said may instead of can. Nevertheless, she responded with, "yes, I suppose you may. Be back within fifteen minutes, Miss Paris." I nodded while smiling.
Before I left my seat, I looked at Avery and mouthed 'be right back'. She nodded, both confused and curious. She was always the nosiest person in our little group and right now I wish she wasn't.
'She's gonna follow us,' commented Seraph, distaste sugarcoating each word. I shook my head.
She can't, Miss Greene is a bitch with punctuality and rules. It would be a miracle if she allowed Avery to follow me. With my little bit of information, Seraph hummed, not all that convinced.
Walking in the nearest restroom, I quickly headed to a stall, grabbed some toilet paper and went back towards the sinks. I wish it was wipes, but who was I to complain?
'You should have done this from the beginning!' Seraph tried to scold me in my head, but since she was in my head her tone could get no louder.
I rolled my eyes. Right, like how you should have just kept you bloodlust to yourself, but you didn't. Look where we are. It was true—what I just said, but at the same time, the double meaning behind it said otherwise.
Seraph's bloodlust did make me want to kill Luca. But, I could have stopped after one bite. I felt myself return to sanity, but I just like insanity all that better. My emotions, my thoughts and my pain drove me to finish him.
And I couldn't feel any better.
'Yes, but you killed him, not me. Your hands, your teeth, your anger. That was all you, Genevieve.' I knew that already. I killed him on my own accord and the guilt left me by now, each bit leaving second after second until the last thing I could feel about his murder was relief.
And I would do it again. In a heartbeat.
'You don't have a heartbeat, anymore.'
I laughed. Like, really laughed. That kind of laugh you give when your friend does something so stupid you just cant help yourself. I clutched my sides, aching when I laughed even just a second.
'I really hope you don't go insane.' Seraph said when I finished laughing. I grinned, wiping the last of the visible blood off my and threw the tissues into a toilet, flushing the evidence away.
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No, not insane. My emotions are just everywhere. I don't know if what Seraph said about my emotions earlier today was true or not, but I really hoped so. If it wasn't true, then I just might actually be going insane.
Bringing the small sleeves down on my shirt, I smiled at myself in the mirror in approval. Just to be certain the job was well done, I started a small turn-around while still looking at myself. When I was satisfied that nothing could be seen anymore, I breathed in relief. All of this tiresome work just over Luca. Luca, as in the dead missing corpse of my ex-boyfriend.
Damn, even after I killed him does he still haunt me. I bit my lip, feeling my small wave of happiness be washed at shore by a stronger wave if anger.
Why am I so emotional all the time? I said to myself in my thoughts, grabbing the straps of my book bag to being over my shoulder. I stole a look at the clock above my head. Okay, I was only gone for ten minutes. That's good.
'You'll be emotional for a while. You should just get used to it. This is why fledglings stay with dhampirs so they can control thei—nevermind.' I intently listened to this new piece of information closely until she suddenly decided not to finish.
I stopped readying myself to leave. Crossing my arms over my chest like and cocking an eyebrow, I acted as if Seraph was standing in front of me.
What was that? I quipped. She was, as expected, silent.
Was she not allowed to speak of it? Was there someone higher than her? Was there even someone like her—no, like us?
"What were you gonna say?" I asked again, this time out loud. I don't know why, but I feel like talking to Seraph through my voice rather than thoughts hold more... I don't know, demanding power? If my voice did have that sort of effect, it didn't work on her because she still had nothing more to say to me. Which made me curious and furious.
I hated being left out of loops. Loops that I'm stuck in, too. She was speaking about... what was the word again. Hamps... dandires... wait, I remember.
Dhampirs. Yeah, that was the word. But, what were those?
Maybe a mix between vampires and demons, I considered a finger on my chin. Seraph laughed for an abrupt second, catching me off guard as I tensed up. She, probably noticing she broke her 'ignoring Genevieve until she drops the subject' rule, stopped laughing.
"What? Was that not it? That was my best guess too..." I heaved a sigh. Whatever, she would have to tell me one day.
I'm a... vampire now. So, one day I would have to know about it, right? Wasn't I by blood?
I shook the thought away. If Seraph wanted me to drop it, I would for now. But, as soon as I get home, I was going to do some research.
_________
"That was quite the long break, Miss Paris." I barely got one foot in before Miss Greene started whining at me. I rolled my eyes (that were looking at my shoes) and said nothing as I walked to my seat with all eyes on me the second time today.
"She'wa prolly taking a nasty shit," whispered Harry evilly to his twin sister, Harriet. They giggled to themselves, earning a loot from Miss Greene.
"Excuse me?" Bellowed Miss Greene, pulling her glasses off her nose as if she couldn't believe what just heard.
Harry paled as I took my seat, eyes still on the twins. I grinned when the two of them visibly looked in nerve.
"N-Nothing, ma'am..." Harriet spoke for her brother. Most likely noticing that her brother wouldn't say anything. My attention from their scolding was interrupted when Avery decided to wave a hand in front if my face.
Slightly disappointed I wouldn't be seeing what else happened, I focused my attention to Avery. She had the same expression on she did before I left to use the restroom. Confused yet worried. She made a look at me, thinking as she analyzed me from reading me inside out like a book. We were best friends since elementary school, she knows me better than I know myself. I know she doesn't believe my lies, even though it would be better for her if she would.
"We'll talk about this at lunch. Whatever's going on, you can tell me. I promise." True to the words she spoke, she looked away with the tilt of her pen, writing down a mess of thoughts on paper.
I nodded, although she couldn't see it, and did the same. My writing assignment was fictional (like many other students around me, most likely) and focused on a girl who was trusted into a world where everything right was wrong and upside down was right side up. She was also riddled with amnesia, making her journey that much harder to figure out.
Amnesia, I wonder... what if I got that, would my problems go away? That would be nice.
'No, you'd be just covering them up with a fraudulent face.' Seraph just had to ruin my dream.
Can't a woman dream? I thought begrudgingly, bring my chin to rest in my palm as the other held a pen to write.
'Of course, they can. But, you're no women. Nothing but a monster wrapped in beautiful plastic now.' Seraph spoke in a new tone. She said that in such a gentle manner, each word holding a meaning near and dear to herself. I wondered what she went through to believe such words.
Yes, I am. I can still dream. You, too.
She laughed. 'Monster's don't dream. We are the fuel in nightmares, we haunt.'