“Caden.”
“Go away. I’m sleeping.”
“Caden, the food processor completed and ready for testing. Would you like me to have DJ test out the food?”
My eye’s bugged out, and I struggled out of my couch. My skin felt loose, and I now walked around naked since my pants no longer fit me and my shirt drowned me. It’s not like anyone was around to make fun of my skinny butt.
It took me five minutes to make my way to the new food processor. I punched in the code for apple and waited thirty seconds for the food to come out. I cursed when the food poured out like soft serve ice cream, and I didn’t have a bowl waiting for it. I had a feeling my mother wouldn’t like the person I had become. My language had grown increasingly foul over the past two months.
I cupped my hands under the nozzle and told the machine to stop but…waste not, want not. I ate every last drop and even licked the receiving tray clean. My stomach complained as soon as food reached it and I nearly threw up. However, if I’d have done that, I would have had seconds. I didn’t care. I was hungry, desperate and so skinny you could almost see my ribs!
I pressed the button again, and it failed to dish out any more food. “ZEUS!” I started banging on the side of the processor. “It’s broken!”
“Negative. You need time to process the food you just ate. I stopped the machine.”
“Why?” I couldn’t help it, but I started to cry and slide down to the side of its metal housing.
“It’s been too long since you’ve eaten. You need to make sure to take it slow. Don’t worry, Caden. I don’t wish to see you die or tortured. You’ll need to trust me.”
I didn’t want to trust Zeus; I didn’t to do anything except eat some food. Roknar was idol after completing the castle, and I hadn’t the energy to move in or tell him to do anything. I was sure I’d die long before it mattered.
My eyes grew heavy with the tears and sobs until sleep found me.
###
When I woke again, Robbie was there holding out a bowl and spoon for me to use. I don’t know where he found it or why he delivered it to me, nor did I care at this moment in time. I pulled myself up and grabbed the bowl and pressed the dispenser button again once the bowl was in place.
Slowly, flavored apple pudding filled my bowl and once again tears started to fall from my face. I don’t know what had gotten into me but watching the food dispense was nearly a religious moment for me. Just knowing it worked and I’d soon have something for my stomach made my spine tingle with anticipation.
Three minutes later I was pounding on the machine again, cursing my stupid APRIL and threatening to wipe his core if he didn’t give me food. I felt better this time around, but Zeus refused to give into my commands which I thought were impossible. However, just as before, my eye’s grew heavy, and I began suspecting I was being drugged right before darkness enclosed around, claiming me into a deep slumber.
“Damn it, Zeus!” I said within seconds of waking the third time.
“I needed to repair some damage, and it was better to do while you were asleep. Plus, you were acting irrationally again.”
“I was acting HUNGRY you damn machine!”
“Would you like to eat now or after another few insults?”
Hunger won out, but honestly, I felt a ton better. I wasn’t sure if it was food or repairs which did it, but I felt almost normal. I found my bowl laying on its top and picked up my dirty spoon from the filthy floor. I should have probably washed them out, but I didn’t care yet.
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I finished off the bowl in three seconds and placed my bowl back under the unit but paused before getting seconds. I thought about asking Zeus if it were allowed but decided I’d know when I pressed the damn thing. I exhaled a breath I didn’t realize I was holding when a second helping poured out.
Mentally thanking Zeus for his bounty but too proud to say the words, I tore into the second bowl with less enthusiasm than the first. By the time I completed the second bowl my stomach was complaining so actively I held back going for thirds. Less than five minutes later I was puking my guts out into the waste stream.
I caught my breath and growled. “Why, Zeus? You know that would happen. Why’d you let me?”
“Affirmative. Sometimes you have to let the child burn it’s hand before it listens to caution.”
I thought about it before adding, “and I’ve been acting childish.”
“Affirmative. You’ll need to wait another hour before you can have another bowl. Would you like me to remind you?”
“Yes. And…thanks, Zeus.”
“You’re welcome.”
###
I didn’t do much for the next twenty-four hours. I did manage to bathe and shave with a new razor I had Roknar fashion for me. I’m not sure when I allowed things to get to the point where I began ignoring my morning ablutions but I nearly threw away my Zero G couch. Luckily Robbie was able to clean it before I fell asleep early this morning.
I woke again to Don the griffon’s morning roar and for the first time in weeks didn’t feel like killing him. I felt refreshed and looked forward to seeking him. When I rounded into view, I was surprised to find that Don had another friend with him. Oh. A female friend. Lucky bastard.
He looked me in the eyes and sniffed. If cats could smile then, Don had a grin plastered on his stupid face as he gave me an approving nod before retracting his claws on the gate and flew off. His female griffon barely gave me the time of day but sniffed once before following Don. I know it sounds stupid, but I got the impression Don brought his date home to meet his parents.
I looked down and remembered I was still naked as the day I was born and looked like a naked mole-rat. Zeus said my skin wasn’t loose, but it looked funny being this skinny. I watched Don and his girlfriend soar above the valley for a few moments before turning back to my cavern.
As I walked back towards the food processor, I realized that I felt…lighter, faster than ever before in my life. I chuckled when I compared my new body to when I was a little kid getting a new pair of shoes. I’d run around the store, demanding that my mother watch how fast I am. I had no illusions that I was fast, but I’m sure I could get my old body.
I paused at my bathing pool and looked down at my reflection. I turned this way and that trying to see what I looked like. I’m reasonably sure it was an illusion, but I’d swear my…um…at least one part of me seemed bigger.
Woof.
“You know, DJ. Once you get past how different I look, it’s not that bad. I kind of liked it. I feel like I could bench press you without trouble.” Woof. “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t try it. I ready for some food. How about you?” Woof. “I agree. Not apple.”
###
Fed and feeling good for the first time in over a month, I sat down on my Zero G couch. Honestly, it would take the chair a while before it adjusted to my new body. Losing half of your weight in less than a month does a number on not only you but your memory cushions.
“Virtual.”
It was time for me to stop laying around complaining about food and start filling up my newly carved out castle in the sky. I had four 3D printers all capable of doing any number of tasks, from the complicated to the simple. The biggest one could theoretically build me a spacecraft, but I wasn’t ready to leave this planet unexplored. I needed to know if I was on my earth or another earth and being stuck in a cage would never do.
After a few minutes searching through Explorer One’s inventory, I found what I needed. “Zeus, how long would it take to build a planetary probe?”
“Two weeks.”
“Ok. Will that prevent me from making furniture?”
“Would you like more robots to assist with this process?”
“Umm. You’re right. Exploring the planet can wait a few more weeks.”
“Winter will set in within the next couple weeks.”
“So…aah. Weather wouldn’t be stable, I won’t be traveling and sending a probe wouldn’t be as helpful if everything is buried under a mountain of snow.”
“Affirmative.”
Zeus and I spent the next two days finding an interior design style I liked. I wanted to go for the King Midas look, but Zeus told me not to be Trumpish. He had a point, too much is obnoxious and irritating. Instead, we went with the modern gilded age look. I don’t know why Zeus insisted on a ballroom, but I chuckled when I made sure it wasn’t gold leafed but gold plated.
All things being as they were, I’d be able to move everything into my new castle next week. The winter would be long and hard if time remained similar to my world. Ouray would get a lot of snow and have over 100 inches was rare with global warming is a problem but a world without global warming? Now that would be interesting.