Have you ever noticed the way erotic “stories” are often ruined by ero-logic overruling the plot? Aren't you tired of feeling unrepresented by the way isekai protags are all totally normal & sane? Don’t you just wanna go all the way off the deep end? Why are you pretending you can’t read? Whatever! It’s time to “Do the quest, forehead!”  Dan is a creepy weirdo. He washed ashore on a scary island under unknown circumstances. He’s mostly just trying to survive long enough to see the rest of Maslow’s funny triangle. His superpowers include: Paranoia, male gaze, blatant psychological manipulation… No, but I promise he’s the good guy here. Stay tuned for when it eventually turns out that, maybe some of the voices in his head were real the whole time! No promises!  Anni is also a creepy weirdo, in a different but vaguely similar way, and under similar but vaguely different circumstances. She longs for love, magic,  ̶t̶e̶n̶t̶a̶c̶l̶e̶s̶, and adventure. She is, however, very normal, totally well adjusted, & in no way cut out for such things… Oh well. Her superpowers include: Multiple different flavors of trauma, anxiety, and oh yeah, she can shoot lasers and explode things with her mind! … eventually… kind of… Look, I promise she’s more important and interesting later in the story, just bear with us as she figures out how to not immediately die horribly… And stay tuned for when she finally confronts her demons… Literally! With violence! This story will heavily involve sexual themes and theming, because sex is part of life (and because its FUN), but the focus will always be on the characters feelings, the wacky situations, humor, existentialism, philosophy, absurdism, and who even knows what else, you’re not my dad! Any sex scenes that are not plot-necessary will be skipped, ignored, or otherwise covered by fade-to-black. Basically, if you’re looking here for that, you’re doing it wrong. Loosely based off of 100+ CYOAs. Some numbers will go up, but some will stay small and cute forever. Don’t expect a real harem, because this wish-fulfillment-harem-fantasy is actually a low-drama post-romance… in a big trench coat and silly glasses. The island-survival aspect might be important in the first book~ish, but hopefully this will eventually be closer to Indiana Crusoe, than it is to Castaway. The isekai/portal-fantasy part should stay important… I think? Definitely don’t look for similarities between this story and literally anything else. Those similarities don’t exist, and if they did it would be coincidentally your fault, not mine. I just got here. I just got here and nobody told me what any of the machines do! I just stand here being anxious, feeling I'm not worth what I'm paid, & waiting to get fired for it. Please understand that nobody told me, and it was THE WORST. If you have something to tell me, even if it’s not important, even if it’s obvious, I STILL WANNA KNOW. I’m too isolated to be offended, I’m stupid, not evil, and also I’m actually not really here, so just TELL ME.