When it came time for Catherine to leave Phoenix's estate, she found herself rooted to the spot, a sudden and inexplicable reluctance washing over her. The grand foyer, with its marble floors and ornate fixtures, seemed to close in around her, as if the very walls were conspiring to keep her there. It was strange and confusing; she couldn't explain or rationalize the feeling any more than she could explain the kiss they had shared.
She tried to tell herself that it was simply a drunken mistake, a momentary lapse in judgment fueled by alcohol and the intoxicating atmosphere of Phoenix's world. But deep down, she knew better. She hadn't been that drunk. The taste of him still lingered on her lips, a phantom sensation that sent shivers down her spine every time she thought about it. The more she dwelled on it, the more anxious and tense she felt, her body a coiled spring of conflicting emotions.
As she and Molly said their goodbyes, Catherine found herself hyper-aware of every detail around her. The soft rustle of Molly's excitement, the muted tick of the ornate grandfather clock in the corner, the faint scent of Phoenix's cologne that seemed to permeate the air – it all assaulted her senses, heightening her already frayed nerves.
Catherine recited the alphabet in her head, a calming technique she had used since childhood to prevent panic attacks. A, B, C, D... The familiar rhythm of the letters usually brought her comfort, but now they seemed to mock her, each letter a reminder of the chaos swirling in her mind. E, F, G, H... Why was she so damn nervous about leaving Phoenix? It made no sense, but she couldn't stop her thoughts from spiraling around him, around their kiss, around how it felt—how he felt. I, J, K, L... She had to find a way to expel Phoenix Astar from her mind, to regain control of her runaway thoughts.
But then, as if summoned by her inner turmoil, his song came on the radio in the sleek black car waiting to take them away. The familiar chords filled the air, and Catherine felt her heart constrict painfully in her chest.
Demons, they live inside us all.
Demons, they will make me crawl.
Demons, they made me fall.
Oooh, they made me fall.
Demons, all in the night
Demons, they make me fight
Demons—it's just not right.
It's just not right. Oooh. Oooh.
Demons, they live inside us all.
Demons, they will make me crawl.
Demons, they made me fall.
Oooh, they made me fall.
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Catherine inwardly groaned, her fingers itching to change the station, to silence the haunting melody that seemed to echo her own inner demons. But Molly, blissfully unaware of the turmoil raging inside her friend, started to sing along, her voice filled with the kind of adoration that Catherine now understood all too well. To her horror, Molly even asked the driver to turn up the volume, the music swelling to fill every corner of the car, every crevice of Catherine's mind.
As Molly lost herself in the music, Catherine found her hand drifting to her phone, her fingers hovering over the screen. She knew it was wrong, knew it was dangerous, but she couldn't help herself. She opened her messages, hoping against hope to see Phoenix's name, to find some indication that he felt this weird anxiety too, that she wasn't alone in this maelstrom of confusion and longing.
But there was nothing. No calls, no texts—nothing. The blank screen seemed to mock her, amplifying the hollow feeling in her chest. Maybe he had forgotten about their kiss, or maybe he was trying to dodge the awkwardness of the next morning. It was probably smart, she told herself, trying to ignore the pang of disappointment that shot through her. But still, Catherine couldn't shake the anxiety that clung to her like a second skin.
As they traveled back, the scenery outside the car window blurred into a meaningless tapestry of colors and shapes. Catherine's mind continued to spiral, her thoughts a dizzying whirlwind of confusion and desire. She switched from reciting the alphabet to counting numbers, the steady progression of digits a desperate attempt to anchor herself in reality. One, two, three, four... But nothing seemed to help. She kept thinking about Phoenix and their kiss, the memory of his lips on hers, his hands on her body, sending jolts of electricity through her even now.
She found herself checking her phone again and again, even though she knew it was silly, even though she knew there would be nothing there. Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen... The numbers in her head grew larger, matching the growing ache in her chest.
When they finally got home, Catherine hoped for a reprieve, for a chance to catch her breath and sort through the chaos in her mind. But Molly, it seemed, had other plans. If anything, her best friend was even more obsessed with Phoenix than before. Catherine hadn't thought that was possible, but here they were, trapped in a whirlwind of Phoenix Astar worship that threatened to sweep her away.
Molly kept replaying his song, the haunting melody filling their shared apartment, seeping into every corner until Catherine felt like she couldn't escape it. Molly's voice, usually a source of comfort, now grated on her nerves as she sang along loudly, her enthusiasm a stark contrast to the turmoil churning in Catherine's gut.
Hours passed in a blur of Phoenix's music and Molly's excited chatter. Catherine found herself nodding along, making noncommittal sounds at appropriate intervals, all while her mind continued to question everything. She had only had one glass of alcohol, hadn't she? Surely not enough to explain away her actions, to justify the way she had thrown herself at Phoenix. While he had been a perfect gentleman about it, she couldn't stop thinking about how she had jumped his bones, how natural it had felt to be in his arms.
The guilt mixed with desire, creating a potent cocktail of emotions that left her feeling dizzy and off-balance. She was a terrible friend, wasn't she? Lusting after the very man her best friend adored, keeping secrets, telling lies. But even as she berated herself, she couldn't shake the memory of Phoenix's touch, couldn't forget the way he had looked at her, like she was the only woman in the world.
As Catherine's thoughts spiraled ever deeper into a web of confusion and desire, her phone pinged with a text notification. She jumped at the sound, her heart leaping into her throat. Could it be? Had Phoenix finally reached out?
But as she looked at the screen, she felt a mix of disappointment and surprise wash over her. It wasn't Phoenix's name that greeted her, but Jasper's – her ex. She hadn't spoken to him in what felt like forever, their relationship a chapter she had thought long closed. Yet here he was, reaching out across the divide of time and space, his message a reminder of a life she had once lived, a path she had chosen not to take.
As she stared at Jasper's name on her screen, Catherine felt the weight of choice pressing down on her. On one side, the safe, familiar comfort of Jasper – the man who had once been her everything. On the other, the wild, intoxicating unknown of Phoenix – a man who set her soul on fire but came with a price she wasn't sure she could pay.