The steam curled into interesting and complex shapes over a pair of cups, the maths behind which would boggle the human mind, and was completely ignored by all as Peter recounted the tale of his last few days. Dani stared, wide eyed, at the pile of armour on the table beside the tea cups when Peter mentioned the previous owner of the skin from which it was made. She examined his arm, poking it all over to see where it still had sensation - which turned out to be ‘everywhere’. When Peter got to the part about how Pham had revealed his secret to the group and invited Warren and Danny, and Blaise too, without warning him Dani offered to put up a bounty.

“Don’t do that,” Peter replied wearily. “Blaise didn’t do anything wrong. I think. Besides, Warren’s a douche and Danny’s a jerk but if we get them killed we’re no better than them. And I still don’t know if Pham is Billy’s insider. I’m guessing here.”

“Sooooo,” Dani picked up her cup and blew on it to cool the drink, “what are we going to do?”

“I was afraid you’d ask that.” Peter picked up his right hand and stared through it to the street beyond. It was mid-morning in Averton and the locals were just starting to leave their shops and stalls for some morning tea. He and Dani had gotten to the tavern with plenty of time between the breakfast rush and the mid-morning crush so they had the whole balcony to themselves to watch the world go by, enjoy several cups of expertly made tea and catch up. “I really don’t know where to go from here. I’ve got some major tests next week that I’m going to fail no matter what. My parents are fighting all the time now. There’s probably a nest of imps in the tunnels under Averton building a portal for a succubus to bypass the wards and destroy the town and I just pushed away all of my friends.” He saw the expression on Dani’s face and amended it to “all of my friends except you.”

A knife point driven into the table interrupted Peter’s pity party. “Tell you what mate, you can’t do much about the tests, and you can’t control your parents. So, don’t worry about things you can’t sort out and let’s do something about the things we can. You said there’s imps in the underground? Let’s get down there and give them hell. Metaphorically speaking of course, they already know what hell is like since they’re mini-demons and all.”

Eyes glued to the point being made, Peter swallowed hard. The wood around the knife tip was blackening and flaking away. “You might be right. I do have the key to the door behind the smithy,” he flicked the badge on his lapel, “but I could do with some help getting this lot on.” Peter tried to pick up his new armour, with limited success.

“How’s about we step inside before you go flashing yer drawers to the street?” Dani offered as she picked up the pile from the table. “The tavern has rooms for rent, some even let by the hour.”

“But, I’ll only need a few minutes with your help,” Peter contered. “Why would they charge for a whole hour?”

Dani looked like she was going to say something, but changed her mind. Instead, she held the door for Peter to go inside and followed him in. They negotiated with Rosie for a short stay in a room, and as she was handing over the key Rosie gave the two an exaggerated wink that made Dani flush. Peter just shrugged, oblivious.

Once in the room Peter gratefully accepted Dani’s assistance to change. The new armour clung clammily to his skin and his fingers refused to bend properly, splaying out like an obstinate octopus being rammed down a pipe it really doesn’t want to go through. It wasn’t until Dani reached up from the cuff end and pulled that they were able to get the top on properly. After that, however, it was a cinch and Peter requested Dani wait in the hall while he changed his trousers.

“I’m telling you,” Peter insisted as they returned to the common room, “it’s never happened before. Normally I just give it a pull and it slides right on.”

“For the love of the Avatars,” Dani, mortified, clapped her hand over Peter’s mouth. “Stop! Talking!” She waited until she received a confirmation nod before releasing him.

“A little trouble in Paradise, dearies?” Rosie inquired innocently, cleaning a cup that already looked suspiciously clean.

“I’m having a little trouble with my bone… ooohhh,” Peter stopped dead in the middle of the sentence. “Nope, I heard it that time. I’m so sorry Dani.” Peter waved his denuded appendage over the bar for Rosie to see. "I've done myself a damage, Rosie and needed Dani to help me put my shirt on. There was nothing suss going on in that room."

Rosie placed the cup on the bar top with care. "I confess I was doubtful that the two of you would be up to the kind of shenanigans that most Travellers need a room by the hour for, but you never know. Two red blooded adventurers might one time find yourselves in need, and I assure you that we at Dave's Tavern are very discreet."

Dani looked like she was hoping the ground would swallow her up, and Peter didn't blame her. His cheeks were already aflame from his own faux pas, and Rosie’s ‘kindness’ was only making it worse. “Right, thanks Rosie, very helpful. Must go, monsters to kill, people to see. Coming Dani?” He stomped out the door with what little dignity he could muster.

“!” Peter started as Dani followed him across the square towards the brick building housing the access point to the underground but she pulled him up short.

“Didn’t I say ‘stop talking’?” She demanded, taking the lead.

Peter nodded mutely.

“And what did you do?”

Peter tried to spread his hands, but the right one just flailed comically. “Nooot stop talking?” He jiggled his hand again. He couldn’t take his eyes off it.

Dani grabbed the jiggling hand and poked Peter in the chest with his own bony finger. “This is serious. I was SO embarrassed. What if my mother found out I’d rented a room with a boy? Uhg.” She spun around and stomped off.

“Ow,” Peter whined belatedly. “Come on, it wasn’t that bad. It’s just Rosie busting your chops. You do it to me all the time.”

He followed Dani to the steel door and when she gestured irritatedly to the lock he took the badge from his lapel and pressed it into the matching depression in the mechanism. The lock clicked, then several loud clunks echoed from beyond. Peter reached out to push the door open, but before his fingers touched the metal it swung inwards of its own accord with a sepulchral groan. A dank breeze washed over them, cooling their heads and turning their stomachs.

“You really know how to treat a lady, Peter,” Dani complained. “Let’s go, this is your adventure after all.”

Just inside the door was a shelf with a row of storm lanterns and a box of matches for lighting them. Peter lit two and passed one to Dani, then raised his own high to get a better look. The room itself wasn’t particularly large, it was mostly just protection for the top of the solid iron spiral staircase in the middle. The rusty metal steps led down into the stygian darkness below, the lanterns barely piercing it from where they stood. With a grimace, Peter shoved his right arm through the handle of the lantern right up to the elbow and awkwardly groped over his shoulder for the scythe. Giving it up as a lost cause, he traded the lantern to his left hand and resigned himself to the fact that he was probably going to have to put the thing down in the event of a fight and do his best not to knock it over.

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Footsteps thudding on the iron as the two descended, the solid brick wall to the left and cold metal to the right became their whole world. The flickering lights cast eldritch shadows on the walls, dancing as though alive. Peter felt like they were descending into the very bowels of the earth, so far down had they gone. Finally, the ceiling of the tunnel below appeared at their feet and slowly rose as they clomped down the staircase.

The landing they found themselves on was vaulted from edge to edge, the roof a parabola of dark, slimy brick crusted with a dimly glowing fungus. The tunnel was as wide as it was tall, the floor consisting of two wide walkways sufficient to allow Peter and Dani to walk side by side without bumping each other flanking a channel of unknown and unknowable depth, flowing sluggishly with the leavings of civilisation. The smell was indescribable.

In the darkness, it was hard to tell, but there seemed to be round shapes bouncing across the ground, slipping into and out of the channel. Lifting his the lantern as high as he could reach, Peter made his way forward slowly and quietly. The transparent globules shimmied their way around, leaving a gelatinous trail behind, but underneath it the brick was cleaned of all grime and fungus. Taking care not to disturb them, Peter gave one his full attention, willing Appraise to work. Species: Slime. Level: 5.

Despite their proximity, the slimes didn’t seem to have taken any notice of Peter. How do they even see? They don’t have eyes, he wondered. He put down his lantern and fished around behind him for his scythe. DB protested at the contortionist act tossing him about in his hoodie perch. A sudden yanking sensation nearly unbalanced him backwards, then a jab in the ribs pulled his attention back behind him.

Dani stood there, holding out his weapon for him and scowling. “You want to poke one, don’t you?”

“How else am I going to level up? Besides, they seem pretty docile” Peter accepted his weapon gratefully. “What’s the worst they could do?”

“Dissolve your equipment, dissolve your clothes, kill you, dissolve your bones,” Dani ticked off in an angry whisper. “Do I continue? They’re like little animated blobs of acid.”

“Ah.”

“And they don’t drop any loot until they’re much higher level,” she added. “Do you still want to poke them?”

Peter thought for a moment. “Well, yeah. They’re monsters and they’re in our way.” He hooked the lantern up with the butt of the scythe. “Unless you’ve got a better idea?”

Peter turned to ask Dani which way she thought they should go but in the distance, right at the edge of the light, he saw a flicker of movement. “Did you see that?” he hissed excitedly.

“No,” Dani deadpanned, “because one, I was facing you, and two, you were shining your lantern right in my face.” She rubbed her eyes to dispel the spots floating in front of them. “Are you sure you’re not seeing things? Who knows what’s in the air down here. Could be messing with your mind, mate.”

Peter lowered the lantern to waist height, illuminating the lower halves of their faces the way kids had done when telling ghost stories on camp-outs for generations. “I’m certain of it, Dani. I saw something moving in the dark over there. Could it be,” he paused for effect, “imps?”

“Quit messing about. If its imps then we have to do something about it before they can set up a portal to bypass the town wards.” Dani stalked off down the walkway, her boot heels striking the slick surface hard enough to echo off the walls. Peter scampered to keep up.

“Hey, are you still angry at me about the thing at the tavern?” Peter huffed as he tried to keep up.

Dani stopped. Her glare said it all. Peter stumbled and nearly fell into the wall from the force of its intensity. “It was only ten minutes ago, what do you think?” She saw the sadness in Peter’s eyes and relented. “Oh, okay, fine. I’m not mad. Anymore. Just, you need to learn when to take your foot out of your mouth before you dig the hole any deeper.”

“I’m sorry, I guess I was nervous. I know we’re not that sort of friends, but I’ve never been alone in a room with a girl before. I sorta, you know,” he shrugged, “freaked a bit. I promise to get my mouth under control. Pinky swear.” He held out his skeletal hand and wiggled it until the smallest digit protruded.

Dani smacked the hand away with a clatter. “You’re not as funny as you think you are,” she said, but Peter was certain she was suppressing a giggle. “What was that?”

“What?” Peter whipped around, nearly losing the lantern into the channel in the process. Further up, the tunnel ended in a wall though the slurry in the channel was allowed egress via a grate. On closer inspection the bars were too thick to cut and spaced too closely for either of them to slip through even if they had been inclined to take a dip in the noxious flow. The only way past was via a door with a big wheel set in the middle. That and the vent set high over the door, but it too had a grill covering the opening besides being too small and out of reach for the average human or humanoid to access. “What did you see?”

“I don’t know?” They approached the door tentatively. “I didn’t really see anything, I just heard a weird noise.” She gripped the wheel and gave it a heave. “Ugh, we’re going to need something to budge this. A lever, or a walking wall of meat. Know anyone like that?” She gave up and leaned back on the door.

Peter slid the handle of his scythe through the wheel and braced himself to give it a pull. Dani saw what he was trying and moved around behind him to add her weight to the attempt. Both of them strained against the impromptu lever, Dani even lifting herself off the ground in the process.

Warning: weapon used for unintended purpose. Increased durability loss.

Silence descended on the tunnel, broken only by the gurgle and slurp from the channel beside them. I know the answer is Warren, Peter admitted to himself. He is the biggest person I know with the exception of the smith’s apprentice, but there was no way that guy’s going to fit down the stairs. It’s going to be a narrow scrape getting the Incredible Sulk down here as it is. Bugger if I’m going to say it though.

DB chose this moment to nip Peter on the ear causing him to cry out and clap his hand to the side of his head, dropping both lantern and scythe to the ground. The lantern smashed open and the puddle of oil the leaked out caught fire immediately. Dani dove forward at the sound, rolling to her feet and drawing two daggers in one smooth movement. “Dang it, DB, what was that for?”

Instead of responding, DB drew back into the hood and huddled down. From the darkness above a chittering chuckle. The sound immediately drew all eyes to the grill over the door, which sat propped half open. Hanging out through the opening was a tiny, black, winged body, currently rolling around in paroxysms of laughter.

“They’re in the vents!” Peter yelled, pointing.

Dani flicked a dagger through the air, but the imp was too fast and the blade clanged off the grill as it closed. “Blast. What do we do now?”

“Take off and nuke the site from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure,” Peter offered. “Or, I guess we could go back upstairs and find a willing rube?”

Dani retrieved her dagger and slipped it back into the sheath. “Let’s call them Plan C and Plan D. Do we have a Plan A?”

More high pitched voices gathered in the vent behind the grill. Mocking, insults and abuse emanated from the opening in voices so far up the register that they would severely discomfort any canines had they been present. Peter and Dani scowled at them but had no method of countering.

“Since I’m all out of nukes, let’s go with Plan B for now.” Peter turned his back on the peanut gallery. “Until I can get ahold someone strong enough to turn that wheel, there’s not much we can do. So, Plan A is get stronger. Plan B is for us tol raid the job board for quests that will involve combat, I’ll learn to fight better and maybe even level up, and when I see the person I’m thinking about I’ll graciously invite them to the team.” Peter tried stomping out the burning puddle, to little effect besides setting his foot on fire briefly. More stomping extinguished his boot before it started to burn. “Should we tell the town guard?”

Picking up her lantern and the scythe, Dani joined Peter and they made their way back to the stairs. “Probably not. If there’s an imp army on the other side of that door, then opening it will just kick off whatever plan the Succubus has laid. We don’t need the guardsmen bumbling around down here, we need experienced Travellers. Anyone else will just die.”

“Well, we’ve got you and me. And I’m not afraid of dying.”