Feeling himself settle onto a seated position on a warm, hard wooden surface, Peter opened his eyes to find himself on a pew in the chapel. He recognised the font consecrated to Fjor, the familiar tapestries and the massive stained glass window. Not inclined to leave any time soon, he just sat and enjoyed the silence, the smell of warm wood and incense, the play of light as clouds outside passing in front of the sun made the stained glass twinkle. Peter let the ambient serenity sooth his frazzled nerves.

A slight breeze set the tapestries rippling. The movement caught his eye and Peter examined the events they depicted a little closer. Familiar scenes began to stand out, like moments pulled from his memories.

A leather clad figure decapitating a were-fox with a scythe.

The same figure, pressed against a tunnel wall by a torrent of water from a massive amphibian.

One after the other, Peter found himself shown defeating enemies and conquering challenges. Taking center stage, underneath the window, an intricate woven scene featuring two flying combatants, a massive crow with purple marbling through its feathers picked out in a sparkly metallic thread, and an archangel in jet black armour, its wings crowned with silver protective plates and a gleaming golden scythe. “I don’t remember this,” he whispered as he ran his fingers over the material. “Is this… me?”

“Oi! Slacky McSlackFace! Quit playing with yourself,” a familiar voice echoed through the hall. “Come on, we’ve got stuff to do!” When Peter didn’t move or even acknowledge his presence, the albino elf stormed up the aisle and gave him a gentle shove. “Earth to Peter, you in there?”

Still running his fingers over the archangel, tracing the silver threads of the armoured wings, feeling the rougher texture of the metal compared to the dyed wool of the rest, Peter whispered almost to himself, “Pham, what the heck is going on?”

Pham pulled him around to took right in his haunted eyes. “Dude, you look weird. You okay?”

Peter shook the cobwebs from his head. “Uh, yeah. Yeah. So, what’s the go here?” he asked in a much more normal voice. “I came in the other day and all the tapestries were of rabbit fights and woodcutters and stuff.”

Pham led the way around the walls, slapping the tapestries as he went. The ones that were unchanged emitted clouds of dust, the ones that showed Peter’s exploits did not. “You’re getting to be quite the local celebrity Peter. Check it, these are all the most epic deeds in the county in the last in-game year. You’ve done four of the eight, which is kinda cool, but that one up the front? That’s been an image of the founding of Averton for as long as I’ve been playing. What the hell did you do after I logged off for the night?”

“I don’t know,” Peter shrugged.

“What.”

Peter turned away. “I don’t know. I can’t remember. You remember the crows? Well, there was this big ass crow, and it was attacking the cart and John got his arm all torn up, and we fought it and then it does this big area of effect attack, and I wake up on the ground, dying, again, with Dani mumbling something I couldn’t hear, and bam! Respawn.” The words just tumbled from his lips. “Look, it’s been a really crappy twenty four hours. Could you tone it down a level? Just… give me a minute to breathe.”

Pham leaned around to look Peter directly in the face for a moment and caught his expression. “Big mood Peter, big mood. We’ve both had a rough time. What say we smash some mobs and work out the aggression? I’ve got some new devices to play with if you’re interested.”

Heaving a sigh, Peter let his hand fall to his side and turned away from the wall. Maybe it would be for the best, he thought, getting out and doing something instead of moping. “Fine, let’s see these devices.”

Pham headed to the door and beckoned Peter to follow. “Not in here, not if you like your eardrums.”

Out in the street, while Pham hunted through his inventory, Peter twiddled his ring to let Dani know he was online. The movement caught Pham’s eye causing him to pause and frown. “That’s a pretty serious bit of jewelry you’ve got there, you know. Even the basic ones aren’t cheap.”

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Watching until the band turned blue, Peter raised an eyebrow. “I think you said something like that before. Are you a bit jealous Dani’s my sugar mama? I didn’t know you were into girls?”

He turned back to his inventory and pulled out a pair of gleaming pieces of machinery. “Yup. I thought everyone knew.”

The sudden turn made Peter do a double take. “Wait, I was joking. Serious?”

“Catch,” he tossed one of the items to Peter. “Kinda. Mostly ace, but if I had to pick a side, you know?”

Flubbing the catch, the thing bounced off Peter’s chest and arms as he juggled to stop it hitting the ground. Finally getting a grip on it and himself, he thought carefully before responding. “My bad. I’ve been a bit out of the loop. I don’t really talk to anyone at school and they don’t talk to me. I hope I didn’t say anything offensive?”

“I wouldn’t hold it that way if I were you,” Pham pointed at Peter’s hand, “and no, you’re fine. That face was so worth it. You really didn’t know? I mean, I know you said at school you didn’t know who I am, but even if you didn’t know what I look like, literally everyone knows what happened at Liselle’s party over Easter break. Oh, and don’t move your finger any further down, that’s the tripwire.”

Peter carefully took what he now knew was some sort of trap in his other hand, holding it by a more sturdy part of the frame. “I couldn’t even say who Liselle is, which is fair, I’d say Liselle doesn’t know who I am either. Trust me, I could die tomorrow and nobody would notice I was gone.”

“You die every day mate, what’s the difference?” A new voice from behind the pair startled Peter and nearly made him drop the trap again.

“I might take that back,” Pham offered. “You can have it when you’re not going to set it off in the middle of town. Hi Dani, ‘sup?”

“We’re going rock bustin’, I thought. You wanna come too?” Dani flashed a megawatt smile.

Peter groaned. “I was hoping you’d forgotten. Hokay,” he exhaled the word, “how far out of town is the mine? I don’t have a horse like you.”

“Ooh, ooh, ooh. I have the perfect thing!” Pham hopped from one leg to the other. “I made it back when I was first learning how to build stuff.” He popped open his inventory again and pulled something out. “Give this a try.”

It was a flat board with a wheel at either end and a tee shaped handle perpendicular to the body. The handle swivelled to allow the front wheel to turn left and right as well as spin. “It. Uh,” Peter stopped. He tried again. “It’s a scooter. You made a scooter. In this game where you can have magic horses and steam busses and flying gryphons, you made, a scooter?” He picked it up and turned it over. It was very roughly finished, the wood sanded but not varnished. The wheels were solid wood with a leather ‘tyre’ glued in place. “Does it do anything? Does it have any magical enhancements? Plus nine to embarrassment, maybe?”

Pham angrily reached out to take it back. “Hey, it took me hours to build that. You don’t want it, you can walk.”

Chagrined, Peter apologised. “Sorry, you’re right, that was mean. I gratefully accept the loan of your. Mhm. Your scooter.” A little chuckle slipped into his voice. “But you have to admit,” he waved an arm around, “it is a bit out of place.”

Pham’s frown faded as quickly as it had arrived, “Nah man, they’re all the rage in the big city. You ain’t seen nothin’ ‘till you’ve seen a wizard riding a scooter in a skate park while a mechainst in jodhpurs waits his turn. This world is wild and you’ve seen zero percent of it.”

“Oi, you two. Come on, we’re burning daylight.” Dani poked the pair in the ribs. “Pham, I assume you have transport of some description?” He nodded and Dani pulled a rope out of her backpack and held out one end to Peter. “You, take this and tie it to the handle of the scooter. I’ll pull you along with my horse. Sound good?”

“Sounds good,” they echoed.

“Jinx, you owe me a coke,”Pham added.

Peter smiled and got to tying the rope to the handle of the scooter. Dani summoned her horse from whatever magical dimension it lived in and Pham pulled yet another device out of his inventory. He laid the green metal contraption on the cobbles and inserted a key. It slowly and shakily unfolded itself, lengthening struts forming ribs and shock absorbers, until, with a groan and a clonk it set itself on four wheels. It looked like a skeletal horse made of some strange green metal, only instead of hooves it’s legs ended in wheels that came up to its knees. Coming out the sides of the head, in place of ears, were a set of handlebars. Pham leapt into the brass saddle in the middle of its back. “Sweet ride, yeah? Made it myself. Hardly ever falls apart, and totally looks the business.”

Green with envy, Peter looked from his wooden scooter to the gleaming machine. “Yeah, sweet ride. Can we get on with it?”

The guards on the north gate fought a losing battle to remain stoic as they were passed by the strangest procession they had ever seen. First was a green horse/car hybrid that emitted a deep rumbling roar, then a more typical horse, if typical horses were jet black and gave off a cloud of white from their tails, and lastly a tiny wheeled contraption that, were they forced to guess, sounded like a little girl screaming.

“Ay,” one guard looked over at the other, “that’un could do with some grease on ‘is axle.”