WHAT DO YOU THINK IT MEANS TO BE ALIVE? WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE ONE DISTINCTION BETWEEN A LIVING BEING AND an OBJECT, IF YOU COULD DRAW A LINE BETWEEN THE LIVING AND THE DEAD WHAT WOULD THAT LINE REPRESENT? WHAT IS LIFE?
THE ANSWER IS, A SOUL! IT DOESN'T MATTER A SMALL IT IS, OR HOW LITTLE INTELLIGENCE IT HAS, AS LONG IT HAS A SOUL, IT IS ALIVE! BUT THAT'S ONLY HALF OF THE TRUTH BECAUSE BEFORE SOMETHING CAN BE CONSIDERED TO BE ALIVE, IT MUST BE RECOGNIZED AS SOMETHING THAT EXISTS! IT MUST HAVE A FORM, OR IN OTHER WORDS, IT MUST BE PART OF THE ENTITY OF EVERYTHING! THAT IS QUITE A MEANINGLESS CONDITION BECAUSE EVERYTHING EXISTS WITHIN THE ENTITY OF EVERYTHING, THAT’S HOW IT ITSELF IS DEFINED, AS LITERALLY EVERYTHING, NO MATTER WHAT IT IS OR ISN'T, MUST BE PART OF THE ENTITY OF EVERYTHING.
The next question is, HOW CAN YOU GIVE A RECOGNITION TO SOMETHING?! WELL, IT'S SIMPLE, THROUGH WORDS. LANGUAGE IS THE answer to HOW SOMETHING CAN BECOME actually SOMETHING, NO MATTER WHAT! IF IT EXISTS, IT MUST HAVE A DESCRIPTION, or in other words, something is simply the physical form of its description. And A SOUL IS SIMPLY THE PHYSICAL FORM OF A DESCRIPTION OF A LIVING BEING.
THAT'S HOW LIFE IS CREATED, BY CREATING A SOUL FROM A DESCRIPTION, BUT HOW CAN YOU SUSTAIN IT, HOW CAN LIFE GO ON LIVING, WHAT IS KEEPING THE SOUL FROM NOT EVAPRSTING FROM EXISTENCE, IS IT FOOD?! WATER?! LOVE?! NO….IT'S WILL-POWER, THE ENERGY OF EXISTANCE. IN ORDER FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN AND CONTINUE TO HAPPEN, THERE MUST BE WILLPOWER, WHICH MEANS IF YOU CAN STRIP AWAY THE WILLPOWER OF A LIVING BEING, HOW CAN YOU EVEN SAY THAT IS IT STILL ALIVE? IT MAY HAVE LIMBS, FEELINGS, DREAMS, EVERYTHING THAT IT COULD POSSIBLY POSSESS, BUT AS LONG AS IT DOES NOT HAVE WILLPOWER, EVERYTHING IS MEANINGLESS, IT IS MORE THAN DEAD ARE, IT IS WORTHLESS.
AND THAT'S IS YOUR TRIAL, MY SON!
LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN OVERCOME THIS MISORY, LET'S SEE IF YOU OVERRULE, THE FOUNDEMENTAL LAWS OF EXISTENCE, AS I TAKE AWAY EVERYTHING FROM YOU, EVEN YOUR SENSE OF SELF, KA! KA! KA!
And look at you, CRAWLING INTO YOURSELF LIKE A FETUS, HOW PATHETIC, IS THIS HOW MUCH IT TAKES TO BREAK YOU DOWN, ALL I DID WAS CRANK IT UP A LITTLE BIT, AND NOW YOU CAN'T EVEN THINK ANYMORE, WHAT A WEAKLING, HOW CAN THE PROTAGONIST BE SO USELESS.
Especially when those WHO you have sworn to save are being killed right in front of your eyes KA! KA! KA!
PROTECT LIFE! SAVE THE LIVING! KILL EVIL!
Ever since took my first breath, every action, every thought, every desire. Those three lines directed everything I have done in my life.
PROTECT LIFE! SAVE THE LIVING! KILL EVIL!
Everything else is meaningless, it does not matter how, and it does not matter for who, I am going to save the living! I am going to protect life, and I do not care how dirty my hands are going to be and whose blood it will be.
PROTECT! SAVE! KILL!
Those three words maketh my true self, my soul, my existence, my purpose within The Entity Of Everything!
Rexy:
SO WHY CAN'T I MOVE?
Laying before his Nonexistent Eyes, with red-colored tears and snot all over his face, With Wounds and Scars That Will Never Be Healed, contradicting the absolute truth of his broken soul, Hearing the Cries and Moans of His People, sons of Abheram, Isaac, Jacob, and mosses. Daughters of Sarah, Rebecca, Asenath, and Zipporah. Seeing Them Getting Butchered, laughed at, raped, eaten, slayed, mocked toyed, One By One by One! Was Standing Our Hero, our protagonist of this tale, this story, sweet little worthless! Meaningless!! Pathetic!!! And weak!!! Rexy. Standing in the center of, the world of red, a world that used to be a pure Waist land, Made only from the Color Red, but now it is filled with his worst memories, his first experience with hell itself. This is where he stood, within the ruins of the underground, surrounded by the complete failure of the new Nili, this is where our hero stood.
A Hero with the Body of a Child, a Hero with No Face, With No Memories of His Past, Who Doesn't Even Remember The Reason Why He Fights, Why He Keeps Struggling Day After Day, How Tragic, How Pitiful KA! KA! KA! KA! KA!
However, A Hero Must Know Why He Fights, Why He Keeps Struggling, Know His Past and his Pain, and Fight For What He Believes in or For Those Who Needed SAVING. A Hero Must Know Of His Past, And Never Forget It! AND That's Why I Am Showing You This World, MY SON.
Rexy:
]Just let me cry[
How was it even possible, I thought to myself, a mere milliseconds ago my existence was reduced to human liquids, feeling a type of pain that I could not even describe to you Ann-Marie, only to be healed immediately, with not a single scar on my body. Leaving me only the memories of that indescribable terror and pain. How can the outcome of a torture so cruel can just vanish as if it never happened, this world is the deepest layer of hell, I thought to myself. All I wanted was to open my eyes to wake up from this nightmare. Hide under a blanket, and cry my heart out, but I couldn't. Yet again, that world, that reality won't let me.
It could not even let me a second of rest, all I could do was to stand and watch.
Watch as soldiers mercilessly kill my people.
Rexy:
"You joking? This can't be happening…"
What lay before Rexy's eyes was his worst nightmare, an unthinkable truth, that he could not accept, right before his eyes was hell itself, even worse than hell, a never-ending nightmare that Rexy could not do anything except scream, "Stop it", he yelled, stop it now, he screamed, but it was meaningless, this hell won't stop by mere words, I won't let you end this nightmare.
Rexy:
"Why can't I do anything? Why won't this reality let me save them? Why can I only watch?
Children Are Eaten Alive.
Rexy:
"And I do nothing..."
Women Are Gangbanged.
Rexy:
"And I do nothing!"
Men Are Used As Target Practice.
Rexy:
"AND I Do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!!!!!"
"Innocent people are getting tortured and there is nothing I can fucking do! Like a caged beast, I am trapped within this endless nightmare for eternity, this world of red, where the mountains are piles of human corpses! And the endless Red ocean is made of their blood! This world is made from their flash, their spirit! How have I not realized that? How could I have not seen that sooner? How could I have been this blind? I could have stopped this! Stop everything! I wasted countless days even years, here doing nothing, I could have stopped this hell from ever happening!"
But you didn't
"Worthless!!! I'm so fucking USELESS!!!"
[My soul, my existence yarns to protect them, yet this world won't let me, why won't you let me save them, Father…]
"You are crying?! Is our hero shading actual tears for those poor little souls?"
Out from no-where a voice that Rexy never heard spoke directly to his subconscious, a voice then could only be described as monstrous, but still, it was his own voice;
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
"How sweet how sympathetic of you…yeah right! How dare you cry for them, how dare you pray for them. It is you who caused this suffering; it is you who let those monsters roam free."
Unable to begin even to process who or what is speaking to him, all he could do was to listen, listen to his own voice, breaking and humiliating him, by merely speaking the truth.
"Everything here is your fault, look at them, dancing on top of our comrades on top of our friends, they are eating laughing partying drinking singing on top of the dead, how could you let them do this, stop them already, what are you waiting for?!"
Rexy:
“I….WILL…KILL…YOU….”
"YOU FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT! WHO DO THINK YOU?! TAKING THE LIVES AND FREEDOM OF MY PEOPLE! YOU ROTTEN FUCKERS!!!!!!! I WILL KILL YOU! I WILL FUCKING DESTROY EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!!!"
With RED CLAWS, RED FANGS, RED EYES, RED HAIR, AND RED SPARKS, REXY was NO LONGER A HUMAN, ever since the fall of the underground, the fall of the new Nili, after losing everyone he loved, rexy can no longer call himself a human, the universe won’t let him, the world couldn't let him go away without a punishment, and send it’s angels to create a monster, with red devilish teeth, with red color eyes that look like a mockery of a cat, with breathes that sounded like a broken beast, and with one thought in mind was standing our hero, our protagonist, rexy! ready to make every single moment of his life, a living hell for those monsters with the clothes of soldiers.
The Soldiers:
"BRØTHERHØØD! BRØTHERHØØD! BRØTHERHØØD! BRØTHERHØØD! BRØTHERHØØD! BRØTHERHØØD! BRØTHERHØØD! BRØTHERHØØD! BRØTHERHØØD! BRØTHERHØØD!"
Rexy:
“You use such a virtuous word to describe yourself...You fucking scumbags...."
[I want to slay them, I want to see every single one of them in plastic bags, I can't explain it, this wrath, this anger, It's like there is something within me that demands their heads to be crushed, This desire, There is nothing else I want to do anymore.]
[I could starve to death, and I wouldn't mind. I could be raped, and I wouldn't mind. Beaten, spite, laughed, mocked, stabbed, burned, used, tortured, hanged, violated, and drowned. And I wouldn't raise an eyebrow.]
[I don't care anymore about my flash, Destroy my body, Break every bone I have, Make me a liquid of human remains, I don't fucking care anymore. As long as I can kill them, Nothing else matters to me, I will kill them, every single one of them. This is my purpose, my nature.]
[I lost my memories, my name! I still wonder if I have gone insane, But as I look over this hell, There is one clear thing, This is wrong, This is evil, This is hell, filled with monsters who wear human flash. You think you are the good guys, that you are doing the right thing, That you are the righteous ones, Let me tell you one thing.]
"You are evil."
And like magic, they have stopped!
No matter what he had tried to do, rexy could not make those monsters stop, no matter how he tried, until he mumbled those three words, those SIMPLE THREE WORDS WERE ALL IT TOOK TO MAKE THEM FINALLY NOTICE REXY.
But that was a bad move, a really bad one Rexy.
Rexy:
"They are getting closer, looks like I pissed them off, KA! KA! KA! Do you think you can scare me? Bring it on! Will slay every single one of you! You fucking retards!"
A Captain:
"ATTENTION!"
"TO PAY RESPECT FOR HIS OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE WITHIN THIS GREAT OPERATION, THE FORCE WILL STRETCH TO ACKSHEV!"
"ONE! TWO!! THREE!!!"
All the soldiers:
"ACKSHEV!!!!!"
A Captain:
"TO PAY RESPECT FOR HIS OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE WITHIN THIS GREAT OPERATION, THE FORCE WILL SALUTE TO OUR GREAT HERO!"
All the soldiers:
"SIR YES SIR!!!!!"
Rexy:
[What's…going…on! Did…they…just…salute…to…me? Like…I'm…one…of…them?]
The angle of death:
"Why do you act surprised Rexy? "
As Our Hero Was Prepared To Fight against The Army of This So-called 'brøtherhøød', A Familiar Yet Terrifying Voice Could Be Heard. As Rexy heard His Words and Tried to Understand What He had just Heard, He Already Put His Hands around his Upper Torso. His Hug Was So Warm, So Wholesome. If You Looked At Them While They Were Hugging, The Only Reasonable Outcome Would Be That Those Two Individuals Are Extremely Close Friends. Like They Are Brothers. Born From the Same Cloth.
The angle of death:
"What's wrong rexy? Why the big shock? Don't you recognize me? Your partner!"
Rexy:
"My...partner...." "It can't be..."
The angle of death:
"Are you ok? Are you sick? Do not tell me that seeing all our wonderful dead comrades is affecting your soul. Did you forget? It was you; everything that happened that day was caused by you, and only you!"
Rexy:
"No!"
The angle of death:
"Feisty aren't we rexy?! But don't you get it?! All the children we killed, all the women we raped, all the destruction, pain, suffering, sorrow, tears, cries! EVERYTHING was by you and for you!"
Rexy:
"NO..."
The angle of death:
"Everything here is your doing rexy our greatest HERO, the underground's greatest HERO!"
Rexy:
"NO!!! NO!!! NO!!! NO!!! NO!!! NO!!! NO!!! NO!!!"
All the soldiers:
"REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!!"
Rexy:
"Shut...up...."
All the soldiers:
"REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!! REXY!!!"
Rexy:
"I SAID SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "I WILL KILL YOU!!!" "I WILL KILL EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!!!!" "YOU HEAR ME!!!!!" "I WILL FUCKING DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR!!!!!" "EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!!!!!"
Corrupted voices:
"̵̧͎̺̮̘̦̺̗̩͕̽#̸̺͖͖̏̄͘͘℅̸͎̮͕͔̯̼̟͑€̶̡̣̦͚̲̗̈́͛͗̓͑͝𝟭̶̳̻̈͑̈́̚¢̸̨̪̳̮̟̼͛̕͜ͅ𝟬̸͓̘͙̿͒̏̌̿̋̕͠∆̵͇͙͖̯̻̈.̴̘͓͓̣͚͉͛̌.̸̜̖͙͇̉̅.̴̢̙̝̟̤͍̯̪̩̙̌̎̎͊͝.̵̤̱̖͖̤́̅̀̾̂̑̊.̶͎̾.̷̭͎͇̙̦͇̓́̂̏̓͑̈̏͜͠"̵̤̺̭̰̮͉̮̱̫̇͐̓͆̍̆͊̌
Rexy:
"This...can't...be...right...You...are...the...strongest...You...would...never...lose...in...a...fight...Noah...David…Benji...𝗧𝗘𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘 𝗪𝗛𝗢 𝗗𝗢𝗡𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗧𝗢 𝗬𝗢𝗨! NOAH-!!!! David!!!!! BENJI!!!!!!!!!!!"
* Noah-:
"𝗬̷̧̬̭͕̲̭̾̐̏̇̍̄̉͝𝗢̸̨̜͇̄̿̇̀͐̃̚𝗨̷̟͓̙̣̆̓̈́"
Rexy:
"WHA..."
All the corpses and wounded people:
"Traitor!!! Traitor!!! Traitor!!! Traitor!!! Traitor!!! Traitor!!! Traitor!!! Traitor!!! Traitor!!! Traitor!!!"
Rexy:
"STOP IT! STOP SAYING IT!!!"
All the corpses and wounded people:
"All your fault!!! It's all your fault!!! It's all your fault!!! It's all your fault!!! It's all your fault!!! It's all your fault!!! It's all your fault!!! It's all your fault!!! It's all your fault!!! It's all your fault!!! It's all your fault!!! It's all your fault!!! It's all your fault!!! It's all your fault!!! It's all your fault!!!
Rexy:
"PLEASE STOP SAYING IT! I DIDN'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN!!! I AM SORRY THAT I COULD NOT SAVE YOU!!!! ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS FULFILL YOUR DREAMS, SO PLEASE I BEG YOU TO STOP."
Why Didn't You Save Them?! Aren't You Supposed To Be The Protagonist Of This Story?! What A Disappointment!
* All the soldiers:
"KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KKA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA"
Rexy:
"No...Stop it...Stop laughing at me..."
The angle of death:
"Why are you crying rexy?! This is what you wanted, isn't it? Feisty aren’t we rexy?! Did something good happen?! Did killing everyone you held dear bring meaning to your worthless life?"
Rexy:
"NO...THERE IS NO WAY..."
The angle of death:
"TSK! TSK! TSK! But you did rexy, it is you who caused all of this, and you did it with a SMILE! "
Rexy:
"NO! NO! NO! STOP ITTTTTT! I DIDN'T DO THIS! THIS ISN'T MY FAULT."
ARE YOU SURE
Rexy:
"MOM!!!"
As Our Hero Heard His Mother's Voice A Feeling Of Ease Passed Through His Veins. A Feeling of Happiness. A Feeling of Reassurance. Those Feelings. Filled Every Part Of His Body. Of His Soul. As Our Hero Felt Those Feelings, He Thought To Himself: "Everything is going to be ok, Everything is going to be fine, Because mom is here, Mom will fix everything, Because she is the greatest, She is the strongest, Our Messiah, There is nothing she can't do, That's why everything is going to be fine, Isn't it moth-𝘁𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗯𝗼𝗹𝘁.
Turning my back to see my mother, all I saw was my beautiful mother, the most beautiful and kind creature in existence, a creature who has never done something wrong, who only helped others without a second thought, a person who never stopped fighting for the dreams of others, who ignored her wounds, her scars, her tears, her misery, her broken bones, her own sanity, all for the greater good, she has done everything to help the weak, the innocent, those who could never fight for themselves, the poor, the blind, everyone, those who have fallen and needed a hand to stand up: the lustful, the greedy, the wrathful, the prideful, the slothful, the gluttonous and the envious, no matter who he she or it, it was, she help everyone because she was the greatest, the best, the kindest, the purest of heart, no one could surpass her, she was the one and only messiah-, our messiah-, my messiah-, my mother.
My mother is the best! My mother is the best! My mother is the best...My…mother...
Rexy:
"Is Crucified…"