I suppose it all started the day I was born. I never really knew why I felt the way I did. I mean, I've met other people with similar experiences, but it's not as if there are many of us (many who are mistaken for us, but few who are honest about it).
I mean, I can't help how I see things, how I see myself. I've tried, goddamn it, I've tried so hard to fit in and be like so many I've met on the internet these days. Something deep inside me is different than most. Believe me, I'd change it if I could.
When I was 3 years old, I wore normal boy clothes, learned how to play with a ball, and ran around constantly. You know, typical little boy stuff. Climbed on everything, Afraid of shots, wondered WTF a girl was and why they dressed funny.
By 7-8 years old (first grade anyway), I had my first experience with what are now known as a Feminazi. She pushed me down (being half again as big as me) and said I couldn't hit her because she's a girl. So I asked the teacher about it and he said it's true. Boys can't hit girls, even if they're bigger and stronger than them. This was when I first realized the truth, even if I didn't know the word 'bigot' yet. After all, it's not right for people to hit you and you can't hit them back. What if they keep on hitting? Dangerous, even to my young mind. FYI, far from my only encounter with their kind on the playground.
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Time went on and by middle school, I had my first crush. A girl, thin and healthy, like a lot of the ones my age. It didn't pan out. She had a boyfriend. Them's the breaks.
High school and things got weirder. Being kind of a loner, I didn't date much and people at school assume one thing if you don't have a visible girlfriend: that guy is gay. Well, I'm not. I was born straight and never really questioned it. Once the assumption spread and I realized which people were gay, I knew for certain: I wasn't like them, no matter how they pleaded with me. Just not interested.