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Behold! The Harbinger of Doom [Fiction]
Chapter 87: Agents of F.I.N.G.E.R.

Chapter 87: Agents of F.I.N.G.E.R.

Kahli watched there in shock as Agent 47 flogged himself over and over again with the cat of eight tails, crying out in pain as he wretched the dreadful instrument out of his skin over and over again in nasty yanks. She almost couldn't watch, but, at the same time, it was impossible to avert her eyes, and indeed, it pained her in its own dreadful way. It was frightening to realize the power her [Tale Teller] [skill] held within it.

Finally, after a substantial pool of blood had formed at Agent 42's feet, he halted in his self-inflicted torture and set the tool away. "By the gods, the pain is unbearable, but I had to attone for my lies and trickery."

The irony of all this was not lost on Kahli. In fact, despite the gruesome scene before her, there was not a small part of her that couldn't help but be amused at how Agent 42 had treated himself after she'd successfully convinced him that'd he'd been lying to her all along. Of course, the silly thing about that was, even though Kahli had absolutely lied her face off in return, Agent 42 had tried to bully her - badly - into believing that the perforation was just a simple anomaly. Yea, right. An anomaly with undead monsters crawling out of it. A likely story.

Still, now that Agent 42 was, in many ways, under Kahli's singular thumb - she winced for a moment remembering the fact that she did, indeed, only have one thumb now - due to the fact that he had completely fallen for her lies and trickery. Which meant that Kahli felt a lot less threatened by him. Sure, this Agent 42 was a liar through and through himself, but he was a bad one, and Kahli, meanwhile, was so good at lying that she had a [skill] for it.

And so it was that Agent 42 offered, through winces of pain and agony, as he iced his back with his right hand - for he was an ice elemental and a hand haver - to take Kahli and Sahdi to the nearest F.I.N.G.E.R. office in order for a quick debriefing before taking them safely home. Kahli, with confidence, agreed to it - once again, she felt pretty good about the fact that she could lie her way out of any bad situations that arose at this point, clearly regardless of how strong this Agent was, he was mentally weak.

"Only, I have a quick question," said Kahli.

"Yes, of course," replied Agent 42.

"Can we also take my robot friend here? He's in an awful state of disrepair, I'm not really sure why, but F.I.N.G.E.R. seems to have a pretty good budget, what with all the pods and the leotards and-"

Agent 42 cleared his throat. "Unitards."

"Sorry, sorry, unitards, regardless though, can we take my friend? His name is Unit 5a23, and he needs our help. Ideally, of course, maybe you could even use something at your facility to help... Repair him?"

Agent 42 knelt down to look at the automaton. "Wow... This is... I haven't seen work like this in a long time. This friend of yours has been crafted with the utmost care. Of course, he is quite old, and quite rusty - and with that, it looks like a number of his chest gears are due for replace, along with some of his belts... Yes, as I look closely, it does appear he's missing a timing belt... That could be part of the problem here as to why he's shut off unconscious... Then again, a small bug might've also gotten itself lodged inside his inner workings. I've seen that happen to automatons before, and it's a bit fo a no brainer for a machine this delicately made... Truly the workmanship is incredible. I, myself, am no technician, but I do know there are a cherished few members of F.I.N.G.E.R. at our nearest facility, which is of course my home facility, that have numerous [skills] that may be just what Unit 5a23 needs in order to get his life back on track, literally speaking of course in regards to that snapped belt. Yes, yes, I do think we should be able to fix him."

Kahli was a little taken aback by how unapprehensive and enthusiastic Agent 42 had been regarding Unit 5a23's repair. She wondered what all the agent had seen in her mysterious companion. She was also concerned that, possibly, the agency might try and bot-nap Unit 5a23, if he really was that special. Why hadn't her system warned her, or given her some sort of a chance to check in a [checkpoint] about this decision to bring up Unit 5a23 and allow Agent 42 to look at him? She was already starting to regret it!

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[Clarification: Leveling up your Seismic Sense with a skill slot, when available, may positively impact your user experience in situations such as this. While your skill will improve gradually on its own, for the best, most predictable chances of getting, as you consider them, 'better results' regarding time checkpoints will require you to level up Seismic Sense. So far, you seem to be prioritizing collecting a number of low-level skills as opposed to improving your current skills - if you would like, you may want to consider pivoting from this strategy if you are not satsified with your skills' performance.]

Kahli sighed inwardly. It felt like her system had, essentially, just said 'I-told-you-so' to her in a lot more words. Then again, she had enabled verbose mode, hadn't she? Maybe she'd turn that off eventually.

Regardless, Kahli joined Agent 42 and Sahdi in the pod, along with Unit 5a23's unconscious robo-body. Kahli was bemused to notice how absentmindedly Sahdi seemed to be going about her business in all this - she didn't seem to care one way or another where she was headed, who Agent 42 was, what F.I.N.G.E.R. was, or whether all of this was just an elaborate ruse or something. Of course, contrasting with this, Kahli was immediately concerned with all of those things, while her mind was also racing at the thought that Sahdi wasn't thinking about them. What was her problem? Was she stupid or something? Yes, that had to be it. Sahdi had to be dumb. Why else wouldn't she care? Wasn't Agent 42 just, full of red flags - as well as red, bloody welts all over his back, thanks to Kahli's quick thinking? Didn't Sahdi have any thoughts about that whole thing at all? She didn't seem to care about all the blood, she didn't seem to care about Unit 5a23, she didn't even seem to care about how weird and squishy the seats in the pod were as they sat down. In fact, the only thing Sahdi seemed to care about was tussling and massaging and rearranging her hair. Really? That was it? How could Sahdi just sit there and mess with her hair and not pay any mind to the absolute insanity that was swirling around her?

Unless...

Was the hair a coping mechanism? That had to be it. There was no way on Nomachiato that Sahdi was in a state of mental peace over the events that had just preceded them riding around in this pod with agent 42. No, Sahdi was probably deeply traumatized. In fact, she had to be.

This must've been some sort of a shock response, wherein Sahdi had retreated into the blades of her perfect, silky smooth, jet black hair as if they were a physical place of shelter and relaxation. Yes, that surely was what had happened. Sahdi was using her hair much like an infant tauman used their own hands or toys - as a way to distract themselves from all their energy.

Kahli wondered if Sahdi would even remember any of the events that had presently taken place. She doubted it. She was starting to feel bad for Sahdi. Obviously, Sahdi's mental health was on the rocks. It was all Sahdi could do to play with her impossibly long, impossibly perfect hair... And of course her hair looked perfect, so perfect you could fry eggs on it as if it were a hot black top in the sun - it was the only thing Sahdi had going for her. She was almost mindless, aimless, hell, maybe she was even soulless... No, Kahli decided she couldn't abide by that train of thought. That was a decidedly anti-Theseostic way of thinking. She had to draw the line somewhere.

"And, anyways, that's my entire life story!" said Agent 42 with a chipper tone.

Kahli responded hafl-heartedly with a grumble, embarassed to realize that Agent 42 had been speaking the whole time and that she hadn't been paying any attention to him. Then, her embarassment shifted to frustration as she realized it was all Sahdi and her perfect hair's fault.

"And now, if you'll look out the semitranslucent pod walls, you'll see the entrance to F.I.N.G.E.R. facility Phi Kappa Kapp, also known as our local facility!" Agent 42 beamed with a smile, then looked confused. "That's strange, the sign here says this is F.I.S.T. facility Phi Kappa Kapp. That must've been a typo. I'll have to talk to someone about fixing that, and have the idiot who put it up there flog themselves for their insolence. Regardless, we're almost there."

And then, the clencher. Literally. Kahli's writsts were clenched by icy rings that suddenly apparated and bound her to her seat. She noticed that even Froufrou's poor tendrils were similarly bound.

"Not to worry, nothing sinister is going on here," said Agent 42. "I just need to make sure we keep you under control, is all. This facility is, needless to say, a sensitive place."