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Behold! The Harbinger of Doom [Fiction]
Chapter 70: Laws of Physics

Chapter 70: Laws of Physics

Kahli watched as Unit 5a23 plummeted through the air, the life in his robo-eyes dull and gone and his limbs flopping around like limp, mechanical noodles. What was she to do?

Kahli looked at Froufrou, who was writhing around in her neat little purse. The thing squelched.

"You're right, Froufrou. We have to save him."

Kahli at once stopped summoning up her rock, allowing it to dissolve into dust, which sent her plummeting after her fallen companion. The wind buffeted as Kahli zoomed lower and lower. She could feel the plaster on her face gaining many little cracks as she picked up speed. If only she could fall faster! Kahli was worried that she wouldn't be able to catch up with Unit 5a23 before he crashed into the ground. And she had a feeling that if that happened, while he was apparently shut off, he might... Well, Kahli was worried that he might shatter to bits and then that would be that. Which was quite a shame, as not only was it great to have a giant robot on your side of a fight, but she'd also grown to somewhat enjoy the absurd entity's company.

Still, faster she went, but faster the robot plummeted. And then, Kahli remembered the concept of interminal velocitification. It was something she'd been forced to study against her will before she went on the apprenticeship slash intership that had, well, gotten her into this whole mess of doomsday scenarios in the first place.

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"Physics, like many things in Nomachiato, is up for interpretation," droned Professor Glomborkengorken. Glomborkengorken was a Gharlique with a long beard that covered half of the mechanisms in his chest and big, glassy 'eyes' that constantly seemed to be staring off into space. Indeed, Glomborkengorken was the kind of professor that you had that made you wonder if he was a real professor, or if he was instead some sort of a crazy old student that just never seemed to get out of the university. Then again, what was a professor, if not that, in a way?

Regardless, Glomborkengorken looked as excited as ever - that is to say, he looked completely distracted, like he was just going through the motions and repeating his thoughts like a record spinning while he was off somewhere else entirely, his real, conscious mind lost in some deep well of emotion that Kahli had no access to.

And this was not an act of projection. For better or worse, Kahli was almost criminally good at paying attention in class. It was just like her near photographic memory, she was just locked in focus the second someone of educational authority started talking, regardless of whether that authority figure themself was having a complete transcendental experience on some alien planet in their mind.

"I do mean that literally, by the way. Physics can serve to better our understanding of Nomachiato and the greater multiverse only if we can better our understanding of physics itself, and doing that, well... Let me just start with a metaphor. Let's say that physics are the rules, the scaffolding that hold up the backend system that maintains the structure of reality. Are you with me, people?"

Someone in the classroom coughed.

"Great," said Glomborkengorken in a voice laid thick with sarcasm. "So, anyway, where was I? Oh, yes, interpretation. Might I just throw out here for everybody that we're going to have a paper due in two weeks about your interpretation of physics, okay? But never mind that. Well, I mean, you really ought to mind it, but don't worry about it right now presently because I need you to be here in the present moment focusing on my lecture, please, okay? Because how are you supposed to interpret physics in the context of this course if you're not paying attention, right?"

Kahli elbowed Sham, who'd been leaning back and falling asleep in the seat next to her.

"Shit! Sorry," whispered Sham.

Glomborkengorken sighed. "Okay. So, the point I'm trying to make here, if you people will let me make my point, can I please make my point here? Is it okay if I make my point right now? Can I make a point or two here?"

No one responded.

"Great, glad that the answer is yes. See, my point is, you need to picture the laws of physics as a bit of a spiderweb, a spiderweb that weaves through all existence, but also through all of your minds, almost like... Well... Like otherworldly tendrils or something, fuck, I don't know. Yea, I'm a professor, I can say fuck to my students, isn't that cool?"

The room was silent.

"Anyways, so, back to physics and reality and all that other shit. Like, okay, this is the thing here that I want you to think about right now. Can we think about this? Who in here has a system?"

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Half of the class raised their hands.

"Ah, yes, the lucky few. I do, too. Something we all know about systems is that no two systems are alike, right?"

Everyone mumbled affirmatively.

"So, here's a theory. And yes, this is pretty cool, but it is just a theory, so don't get all over your gourd about it. There's a theory, you see, that since systems reflect reality that, well, let's think again as the rules that uphold reality as a web. So, that's say that web is covered in little droplets of water that are all reflecting off one another like an infinite hall of mirrors. Are you with me?"

The room was silent.

"Great. Glad you're all following me one hundred percent."

Sham snored.

"Anyways... So the theory is that, the systems look into the hall of mirrors through your own perspective. And because of that, well, systems are different due to your own perspective. Now, how does this apply to the larger reality? Well, and this is just another, even looser thread of a theory, hell, I wouldn't even call it so much as a theory as I would call it a speculation, but there is a speculation that says that maybe the laws of physics and reality are much like systems, where your own perspective can somewhat... Alter them, for lack of a better phrase, but even then it wouldn't be accurate. Think of it more like distortion, like distortion from the reflection in a water droplet, or like the greening of a mirror in a hall of mirrors to go back to that earlier analogy. Everyone folllowing me?"

Sham snored again.

"Excellent. Glad you're all paying for this. So, with that, let's completely change gears, okay?"

Sham woke up with a snort and shook his head, trying to look at the professor. Kahli sighed, it was an embarassing display.

Glomborkengorken cleared his throat. "So there is in the world of Nomachiato this concept of terminal velocity. Yes, Nomachiatan scientists worldwide are very proud of this term and how terribly original it is. Terminal velocity essentially refers to the concept that there is a limit to how fast something or - heh - or someone, even, can fall through the air. That is to say that, well, essentially, there's a point wherein you can't just fall any faster than you already are. It has, well, there's a formula that we've written out here, it'll go over the specifics, and you've got to remember this formula mind you, it'll be on our pop quiz tomorrow, yes you heard the right or at least you did if you're paying attention."

Kahli wrote her notes almost as fast as Glomborkengorken spoke. She was wonderful at taking notes, and she found it oly enhanced her already razor-honed memory.

Concept of Interminal Velocitification. Scientists worldwide very loud about this term and how terrible it is. Concept that there is no limit to how fast something her someone (Question: Does this imply you need to have a significant other in order to access this concept? Ask in after class office hours) can fall through the air. There's always a point where you can just fall faster than you already are.

Kahli was proud of herself for being so thorough with her notes, though she did her best not to acknowledge to herself that she would never actually go to the office hours to ask Glomborkengorken a question about needing a significant other. Kahli assumed, of course, that the answer had to be no, and that possibly Glomborkengorken was so distracted that he'd just misspoken in that moment. She figured that it would be best if she instead opted to assume the obvious and move on - after all, she didn't want to embarass her professor with his mistake.

And then, of course, Kahli copied the formula down perfectly.

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So it was that Kahli remembered and focused on that amazing concept of Interminal Velocitification, and on remembering that she could always fall faster, Kahli did the only thing she could do - focus all of her conscious mental energy on being as aerodynamic as possible.

"Come on, Froufrou, try to flatten yourself out so we fall faster!" Kahli commanded of her creature.

Froufrou did her best to comply, though it was admittedly difficult for the strange little beast to do much in the way of contorting its form into anything other than a mess of writhing nonsense.

Regardless, down they plummeted, and as Kahli focused all her mental energy on falling faster, she noticed that she was indeed falling faster, and it did seem that she was almost catching up to Unit 5a23. Closer and closer she zoomed, but then, Kahli started to notice a problem.

The cobblestone ground, too, was getting close. Dangerously close! She'd need to summon up her rock sooner rather than later, or she and her Harbinger of Doom might just end up flat as a pancake.

So Kahli did just that, but she wasn't about to try and use it to fight gravithy just yet. She reached out her arm. Unit 5a23 was so close.

Shit! Kahli had forgotten that she was missing a hand and had been reaching out with the wrong arm. What a damned shame. She sighed and reached out with her other arm frantically. She was almost falling too fast now to grab the robot!

Almost. Kahli reached out with her remaining hand and grasped Unit 5a23's cold, metal wrist. It kind of hurt her hand! He better apologize for this, later, she figured. Kahli then summoned up a rock under her big, left foot and kicked like her life depended on it - because, of course, it did.

Thankfully, Kahli had become quite good at her rock-kicking technique, so even with the increased weight and resistance of Unit 5a23, she was soon enough slowing her descent, and then, with a few more belabored kicks, she was suspended right above the ground - literally, but a hair's width from the cobblestones.

"Hey! Hey, you there!"

Kahli looked up, and then she gasped. It was, unmistakeably, that poacher that had been by the Pit of Despair. He'd spotted her! And... he didn't have feet? And he was accompanied by some other, cruel-looking figures.

"Hey! Hey, you've got some explaining to do!"

Kahli took a deep breath. Sure, this guy had no feet. But he seemed incredibly threatening. Explaining to do? Her? That sounded awful. Kahli felt the power of her big rock, and weighed her options. Now was the time to either run, or to fight.