Kahli looked at Unit 5a23. "Well, what do you say? Are you ready? This guy is going to want to fight us!"

"Fight you? Both of you?" Lloyd looked confused. "Kahli, I just want you to team up with me to destroy your world!"

"I'm not interested, Lloyd! That's why I kicked you away from me! Take a hint!" Kahli groaned. "Unit 5a23, please, don't tell me you're in cahoots with this asshole."

"Cahoots? What does that mean?" asked Unit 5a23.

"Asshole? You're calling me an asshole?" Lloyd looked offended. He glared at Unit 5a23. "And who is this big robot guy, anyway, and why is he so threateningly masculine?" Lloyd pulled out what look like a small, pointy cone and angled it towards the robo-man. "Should I vaporize him six ways to sundown?"

Unit 5a23 looked at Kahli. "Kahli, I am a bit confused here. Is this strange little guy threatening me or something? And is he also threatening you?"

"He's threatening you, and he's pissing me off."

"I see," Unit 5a23 said. His face clicked around and turned to a somber pose. "I guess I'll do what must be done." Unit 5a23 raised his right arm, which quickly morphed into a large cannon shape. With a powerful charge he sent a blast of glowing blue energy Lloyd's way, striking the ground by his feet and leaving a sizzle of smoke wafting through the air to join with all the other smoke in the air.

"Gods! Did you really just shoot at me?"

"That was a warning," said Unit 5a23. "Threaten me again and I won't miss."

"Pfft. Sure. I'd like to see you try, mister mechanical muscles." Lloyd blew a raspberry exposing his light blue tongue.

"What a gross little cretin," said Kahli with digust.

Froufrou squelched in agreeance.

Unit 5a23 would've pointed out the hypocrisy of this sentiment, had he known or remembered what the word hypocrisy meant.

"Is he threatening me?" asked Unit 5a23 of Kahli as Lloyd continued to make rude noises and gestures.

"Not really," said Kahli. "He's just kind of... making fun of us? I don't know, it's weird. I don't think I'd really call it a threat, though, more he's just being really obnoxious."

"Yea! Hah! I'm soo obnoxious! Hah hah HAH!" spat Lloyd. Then, he raised his left pinky finger. "Wanna see what I can do? Wanna see one of my [skills]?"

"NO!" said Kahli and Unit 5a23 in unison.

"Too bad!" Lloyd giggled as he wiggled his pinky and a beam of red light shot out in a perfect line to connect to a nearby building. The entire building began to glow a reddish orange. Then, suddenly, it crumpled into itself for a second before exploding in a gurgling blast of smoke, flame, and particulate matter. "Bwa hah hah hah HAH hah HAH!"

"Hey, you can't just go around blowing buildings up to prove a point," said Kahli.

"What do you care? Aren't you going to end the world, Kahli? Shouldn't you be thanking me for doing it for you, taking some of the heavy lifting off your plate? Or are you just too jealous of how amazingly powerful I am?"

Kahli rolled her eyes. "He really is unbearable, Unit 5a23. And he just blew up a building that probably had people in it. I wish you'd just attack him."

"I am a nonviolent robo-person," replied Unit 5a23. "I only use physical force in order to perform acts of self defense. Otherwise, I am content to stand aside in peace."

"Are you fucking kidding me? You're a fucking pacifist?"

"Yes," said Unit 5a23 as he sat down on the ground cross-legged and began lightly hovering above the ground, his cloak only briefly caressing the rubble below before waving perfectly in the air. "And if you think you'll be able to goad me into participating in anything other than direct acts of defense, then I will not be using lethal force on anyone."

This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

"But he just blew up a building with people alive inside because he thought it was funny. That's objectively a terrible thing to do!"

"Listen, Kahli, in many ways I agree with you. Violence is vile and I despise it. I'm sure that, in a way, you do too. However, I ask you this: Would I be any better than him if I attacked him for blowing up that building and all the people in that building? Or would I just be sinking to his level, as difficult as that might be considering how much shorter he is compared to me?"

Kahli was getting annoyed by the robo-man. "But Unit 5a23, he just killed so many innocent peoplem, innocent tauman beings, because of us. That is awful. We shouldn't just let him do that, right, if we have the power to stop him?"

"Who's to say we have the power to stop him? We don't even know my level and I doubt we know his either, do we now?"

Kahli shrugged.

"That's what I thought. Look, Kahli, I do agree it isn't a great thing that happened. But my position is, I don't think that my taking action will prevent or cause anything to happen in that regard. It will instead be, if anything, null and void. However, what I can say is if I drop to his level and start attacking first, well, not only will I have compromised my principles, but I will have thrust us both into combat in a way that I am neither comfortable with or mentally ready to act. It would be a serious risk, a painful one. As thus, I am choosing - rather wisely in my robo-personal opinion - to abstain from engaging in this situation as much as possible. What this vile little alien wants more than anything is a reaction to what he's done. Please see that my refusing to give him one is in many ways a greater and more powerful form of violence than even blowing up, say, twenty buildings."

Kahli didn't know how to feel about this. She was starting to see Unit 5a23 as more than just a poor, naive robot. He was also, she thought, a bit pompous and self-absorbed.

"What was that? You want me to blow up twenty buildings, you said?" shouted Lloyd. Before anyone could say anything, he raised his pinky again and sent blasts of energy out of it, igniting and exploding row after row of buildings until exactly twenty were reduced to rubble. "Ah, that was fun," he said, blowing out the smoke on his pinky with a wink.

"You know what, Lloyd?" said Kahli.

"What?" Lloyd sneered.

"I don't think you're even half as powerful as you say you are."

Lloyd looked baffled. "What?! Kahli, I just blew up a bunch of buildings! I am incredibly powerful! I could probably blow up this whole planet if I really wanted to, though I'd rather raze it and terraform it for my own species if we're being honest here. I may be a little melodramatic, and a bit of a blowhard, but I assure you I am being deathly honest of my powers!"

"He speaks the truth, Kahli," said Unit 5a23. "I suggest you leave him be, it's probably the safest option for you to stay out of his way. That is what I will be doing, at least."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Kahli was so full of rage that she was swearing. She thought in her mind of a prayer to Theseosus, hoping that she wouldn't be smited by her mighty pincers above for her transgression. "Look, this is ridiculous. You are a highly powerful automaton. This alien has come here with a goal of destroying the world. You're a part of the world. Wouldn't that mean that you're under threat by him until you kill him?"

Unit 5a23 made a strange, harsh laughing sound that was full of mechanical whirrs and clicks. "Kahli, Kahli, Kahli. Are you not planning to do the same with your own little doomsday creature? Shall I not also kill you immediately, due to the similar threat you pose? Should I seek out my creators, who somehow knew of the end of the whole wide universe, and kill them too, because clearly the only way they could've known of the end of the universe would've been because they were the ones who would eventually cause its doom? Should I kill every person I come in contact with, because they too might be or become a threat at some unseen point in time?"

"That's a ridiculous escalation!" spat Kahli.

"Maybe it seems like it to you, but I feel it's completely reasonable when concerning your own line of thought. You see, to me, it is very simple. Either I define a line that I do not cross and I do not cross it, or I define nothing at all and by default everything is then considered the same."

"But people don't operate on such absolutes!"

"Don't they? And if they don't, what would it matter? Am I a person? Am I a machine? I don't even really know who I am, Kahli, but I know that this is a line I will not, a line that I cannot cross, no matter how cross you might become with me. I do not live to serve you, though I have been grateful for your company in this short time."

Kahli didn't know how to feel. She was so furious at Unit 5a23. It felt like such a waste to have such amazing [skills] and being unwilling to use them against such a powerful foe. Then again, some of what Unit 5a23 had begun to sink through into Kahli's mind. She felt a little self conscious about kicking Lloyd away from her earlier. Had that been a reasonable use of force? Would he have still destroyed all of those buildings had she not acted on impulse and kicked the little alien? Then again, what other option had she really had? Join him? Maybe that's what Unit 5a23 would've done, she thought, but Kahli could never see herself joining forces with someone so vile and obnoxious.

"Well? What's the hold up? What are we doing here?" asked Lloyd impatiently. "I don't have to fight you, you know. I can just burn this whole city to the ground in a few minutes. I am more than happy to do so."

"No," said Kahli. She summoned the biggest rock she could muster and rested her big, left foot on it. "You'll have to get through me first. Let's go!"