"The end of the world is nigh."

Kahli blinked. She had to be mishearing something. "Um, come again?"

"The end of the world in nigh."

Kahli looked quizzically at the tall, mechanical man and watched the gears inside his chest, visible only through a thick glass panel, clicked and whirred in a perfect rhythm. Then, she started laughing. "The end of the world's nigh? That's what you had to tell me? Um, who do you think I have in my bag, Unit 5a23?" She held up Froufrou with a knowing smile.

"I have no idea what that is."

"It's Froufrou! She's the Harbinger of Doom! She's the beast that'll destroy the world!" Kahli sounded proud of her strange little monster.

Froufrou squelched, emitting a nauseating odor.

"I don't think we're talking about the same kind of end of the world, little tauman."

"You can call me Kahli, Unit 5a23."

"Sorry." The robot made a static noise that sounded like clearing his throat. "What I meant to say was this: The end of the world is nigh. Then end of all worlds. The end of the universe."

Kahli blinked. "What exactly does that mean?"

"I have no idea. I was just supposed to tell the first tauman I saw that the end of the world and the end of all worlds is nigh, and I did. Don't give me that look, I can't help it, it was in my programming. For whatever reason while my memories may be either corrupted or inaccessible I was able to access this command. As such, I had to carry it out best I could."

"Command?" Kahli suddenly felt uncomfortable being so close to Unit 5a23. "But Unit 5a23, what exactly does that mean, command? As in you're taking commands from someone?"

"That's not necessarily how I would look at it," said Unit 5a23. "In my fundamental mind-frame I have a set of instructions by which my mind processes data. Yes, I was initially designed by something or someone, but it was long, long ago, that much I know."

"But I thought you can't remember anything!" Kahli was feeling frustrated.

"Well of course I can't. But what I can do is read my own versioning history. Through that, I can see when my programming was last modified."

"How?"

"Possibly it is because I am, as you have called me, a row-bitt. But more likely, it is because it is a specific feature of my system. Now of course, it could be that my system has that specific feature that I've described because I am a row-bitt, I truthfully couldn't tell you. But I can tell you that I can, through use of my system, see that I was last modified precisely 6 days, 9 weeks, and 5 centuries ago."

Kahli thought that was quite intriguing. So Unit 5a23 had a system, did he? It was just as well.

"So someone five centuries ago programmed you to tell me today that the end of all worlds was nigh?"

"Almost," said Unit 5a23. "I was not programmed specifically to tell you, though I was programmed to tell the first tauman I saw. The only way it could've been that I was programmed to tell you, was if whomever or whatever programmed me also knew by some manner that you would be the first tauman I would see, and I cannot possibly see how that could be the case, though I also must remind you that much of my memory is not available for usage at the moment and I may be missing some obvious clue."

"Say, can I ask you something?" asked Kahli.

"You just did."

Kahli groaned. "Can I ask you another thing?"

"You just did."

Kahli almost thought about kicking the metal man, then just got over herself after taking an admittedly too deep breath, which happened to send the odor of Froufrou's latest squelch reeling through her olfactory system. "Do you know anything about Lloyd? Do you think you came here from a meteor?"

"I see no files in my system or variable references to someone named 'Lloyd.' Additionally, I do want to remind you I cannot remember much of anything at the moment. I cannot rightly say whether or not I came from a meteor. Especially considering the fact that I haven't the slightest idea what a meteor is."

The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

Kahli sighed and tried to look at the scenery around them to no avail. They were two lone points in a sea of dust, dirt, ash and fog. The night was dark and cold, and there was a part of her that was a little concerned that Lloyd might find her at some point and attempt to enact some revenge on her for punting him like a blogball.

"Unit 5a23, you said you have a system, right?"

"Yes, absolutely, I do," said the robo-man. "Why do you ask? Do you doubt the truthfulness of what I say? I will note, I am programmed not to lie."

"That's exactly what I robot programmed to lie would say," said Kahli with a sneer. "But, regardless, that wasn't what I was getting at. See, I'm wondering if you know whether you have any [skills]. Because I'd really like to get home somehow and get out of this smog before my body takes permanent damage, and I feel like as a robot you might have what it takes to help me out."

"Hmm. Not a bad idea, little tauma - Sorry, Kahli."

"Apology accepted, Unit 5a23," said Kahli. "So what [skills] do you have?"

"Honestly, I'm having trouble parsing them all," said the mechanical man. "I'm having trouble because even though I am able to read small notes and files from my system, and to submit data queries, what I cannot reliably do is pour over large globs of text to extract meaning. It seems that part of my robo-mind is somewhat scrambled."

"Sounds like robo-dyslexia to me," said Kahli.

"What does that mean?"

"...Nevermind."

"Regardless, I think it would behoove us all if, instead of me reading them out to you in a belabored fashion, I allow you to view my character sheet. It is the best way forward at this moment." The robot knelt before Kahli. "This action is unnecessary, but it is also symbolic, and for some reason I feel obligated to perform it. Most likely, this is a sign of some social convention that I may have partially remembered, although I cannot say for certain."

Kahli laughed a little under her breath as she attempted to look at his character sheet. It was supposed to be intuitive, sure, but staring at the robot as he knelt before her made her feel strangely put on the spot. Then, somehow, all the anxiety just washed away like a passing wave.

[Name: Unit 5a23]

[Level: ???]

"You don't have a level?" asked Kahli.

"Yes, apparently I don't. Usually those characters show when someone is obscuring their level, but I have to stress that damage to my mental faculties, robotic or otherwise, has also damaged my system, and not all data displays as it should. This may reach over to the display of my [skills]. But, please trust that I am doing my absolute best to open my character sheet to your system visibility."

Kahli did her best to believe the robot, because what other choice did she have, truly?

[Skills]

[Robo-Lift]

[Robo-Light]

[Robo-Claw]

[Robo-Blast]

[The Robot]

Kahli regarded these four [skills] with genuine interest. What would she gleam from them, she wondered?

[Robo-Lift]

[Jets on your feet and back propel you forward, raising you into the air at increasing speeds. Use this skill to travel quickly and efficiently, or additionally in order to fight from a distance in battles that don't even start out as ranged.]

That was a pretty cool [skill], Kahli thought. She was interested in checking the other out, too.

[Robo-Light]

[A bright beam on your chest exudes a powerful blue glow that enlightens your surroundings in a large bubble with a radius of 25 feet. This light radius can be expanded with concentration to a maximum radius of 50 feet.]

Nice. That would be a huge help for them getting to shelter. On to the next [skill], then.

[Robo-Claw]

[This allow you to use either of your robo-hands as either pulling or grappling devices. Rope enemies in in order to divert their paths or punch them in the face, or additionally use it to connect to and scale large, treacherous buildings and wide distances with ease.]

Wow. Kahli was starting to think the Unit 5a23 had to be a pretty high level, regardless of whatever his system did or didn't say about his level. These [skills] sounded pretty overpowered!

[Robo-Blast]

[Charge energy through your robo-body and blast it out in a powerful beam of concentrated lightning and charged particles. The robo-blast can be charged up over time to deal more and more lasting damage, to a potential cap and blast radius of 150 feet with a charge time of 5 minutes.]

Wow. This [skill] was just crazy. Being able to charge up a big blast of energy with a blast radius that large was a little disturbing, and difficult for Kahli to truly picture.

[The Robot]

[You may be more than adept at fighting, but that does not mean you do not also know the ways of loving. Use this skill not only to woo people, but also to entrance, bewitch, and win the support of those whose opinion you consider noteworthy with the power of your syncopated step, and your superior robo-rhythm. No one will doubt your dance abilities with this skill.]

Kahli snorted with laughter.

"What? What is that strange noise you're making? Are you ill? Are you choking??" asked Unit 5a23 with a serious concern.

"No, no, I'm fine, it's fine," said Kahli as she wiped a tear from her eye. "Well, thank you for letting me see your character sheet and your [skills]. I think we're going to be a okay here. You're super powerful, obviously, and you've also got a [skill] that should let us see what's ahead but up to fifty feet. That's going to be a huge help."

"Glad to oblige," said Unit 5a23. In a moment, the mechanical man's chest gears turned, and then in an instant a huge ball of blue light shot around them both like an enclosed dome.

"That's so cool," said Kahli.

Froufrou squelched in agreeance.

"Hey, there you are!" said Lloyd.

Kahli's stomach dropped as she saw the short little alien man glaring at her maniacally only about ten feet away.

"Hey, Unit 5a23, I think we might have a fight on our hands. Ready to give your robo-blast [skill] a go?"