Cagio cleared his throat and adjusted the black, leather mask snaking around his eyes, looking at the other cloaked men and then back at Kahli. "I said, how do we know you won't tell anyone?"
"Look," Kahli said with a sigh, "I really can't help it if I smell someone, okay? Like, it's just a function of my olfactory system. I can't control it. So, I mean really if I'm smelling someone, they probably need to take a shower or something anyway, because why else would I be smelling them if not for their body odor? Now, whether its their tauman skin or their living wood that is producing the odor of course affects how it can be cured, either with soap or with maybe some nice lemon spray, but either way, it's certainly not my fault."
Rolfario raised a hand to say something, but Kahli immediately shut him down.
"No, no, don't you say anything about this, Rolfario. I bet it's you I'm smelling. You do look like you haven't bathed in a week, I have to say."
Rolfario looked at once disturbed, perturbed, and crestfallen at this assertion.
"Gods, woman!" said Cagio. "I meant only to ask why we should trust that you won't divulge our thievery to any of the many passersby and authorities here on Old Snow Mountain."
"Oh," said Kahli awkwardly. If there wasn't plaster on her face, Cagio would've seen her blush. In fact, he might've seen her blush through the plaster on her face, honestly.
"Look, um, to be perfectly honest, we haven't been perfectly honest," said Cagio, gesturing to himself and the other men in cloaks surrounding Kahli. "But, really, I meant to imply that I was threatening you. You do understand what I'm saying, right? As in, it was a threat on your livelihood?"
"Oh, whatever," said Kahli. "You and your group seem like a bunch of buffoons to me, and I'm just some obnoxious, embarrassing lady up here on Old Snow Moutain to look at boring archaeological records. Who would ever want to do that, right?"
Suddenly, all the cloaked men dropped their voices to soft murmurs that Kahli couldn't discern into understandable language for a moment. Then, they stopped talking amongst one another a Cagio addressed her again.
"Would you like to go to a tavern? We have much to talk about."
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Kahli sipped a cool ale as she sat in the back room of the Leaky Gut Inn. Cagio and co. apparently knew the owner, and as thus were able to acquire permission to sit back and away in the privacy of the dark room that was presently filled with dark pipe smoke and the strong smell of bacon grease. There were posters plastered on the wood paneled walls for burlesque shows, and they were difficult not to stare at from time to time as Kahli held her conversation with the fellows, whom she'd been absolutely shocked to learn were the elusive Trash E Scapaders.
"You see, Kahli, we've been trying to find something called the Bark of the Conglomerate since our inception as a guild of thievery, and we have zeroed in on Old Snow Mountain as the only likely place in all of Nomachiato wherein it could be housed - doubtlessly somewhere in these dark archives that you, yourself, seek!" said Cagio, puffing pipe smoke into Rolfario's face cooly.
"What are you getting at, Cagio?" asked Kahli as she took a suspicious sip of beer.
"He's getting at, we want to go with you into the deep trenches within Old Snow Mountain, and we want to retrieve the Bark of the Conglomerate!... And also I'm sure you'll find something cool there, too." Rolfario glared at Kahli and Cagio and twisted his mustache. "I too have bathed recently, by the way."
"Still on that, Rolfario, my chum?" Cagio snickered with a smile.
Kahli sighed. All of this sounded... familiar... somehow. Almost like Cagio had dug this convoluted concept of a 'Bark of the Conglomerate' out of some cheesy action story that was just a mishmash of more and more of the same. Oh, to break from such glorious monotony in an endless ocean of the same... And then, she yawned. Thinking odd, depressing thoughts wasn't like her.
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"Look, Cagio, Rolfario, all you other guys I don't know the name of," Kahli interjected, "Can we please just define why exactly you're getting so excited about me going to an archaeological dig? I mean, you realize it's essentially an academic trip that I'm doing for class credit, right? There's not going to be anything of the magnitude you're describing in here. At most, I'm hoping to see some frozen puss from the age of the Curr."
"Ugh, gross," said Cagio. "Who wants to be reminded of the Currdling, anyway? Not me, that's for sure. Why go look at some gross frozen stuff that millions of other taumans have stared at when you can get your hands on something really NEW, really UNIQUE and COOL?" Cagio's eyebrows popped up from under the living wood on his face with enthusiasm.
Kahli didn't want to make it look like she agreed with Cagio, but she agreed a little bit with Cagio. But, she argued with him, what was the point? It wasn't like she had clearance to go any further into the archives, or to go into the actual digging and excavation areas.
"Ah, but see, that's the beauty of the thing, Kahli," Cagio replied with another puff. "See, you don't really need any approval if you go with us."
"Really?" Kahli betrayed her excitement clearly and painfully, so much so that it was immediately embarrassing to her. "You mean that the Trash E Scapaders have extra special clearance?"
Cagio looked to Rolfario, and then they both looked at some of the other guys whose names Kahli still didn't know. And then, they all burst out in a raucous laughter.
"What's so funny?" asked Kahli.
"Don't worry about it, Kahli," said Cagio. "Just, know this. If you want to join us, ditch your silly little schooling assignment and meet us over by the big block of ice near that classic Blandian buffet-style diner that everybody goes to tomorrow morning at sunrise. Otherwise, go ahead on to see what countless others already have. We can keep the exploring to ourselves if need be, just know that the invitation has been extended."
"The invitation has been extended," echoed all of the members of the Trash E Scapaders. "You may do as you wish."
Kahli needed another sip of her drink after all this weird shit. But, as soon as she set her beer back down, she noticed she was alone at the table. The waiter then walked up to her.
"Please tell me you aren't looking for someone to pay their bill?" asked Kahli.
"Oh, no, not at all. They eat here for free, and simply asked me to continue to wait on you until you've had your fill."
Kahli chugged the rest of her beer and ordered a martini.
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It was cold the next morning when Kahli awoke, as she always did, just before dawn. The chilly air somehow managed to make her pulsating headache all the more unbearable to handle, and that stressed her out to no end. How was she going to go to see the frozen puss and disease if she was this hungover?
And then, Cagio's invitation flashed across her psyche. Did she really want to go see the pus for school? No, no, of course not. Kahli wanted to go do whatever the hell it was that the Trash E Scapaders were getting into, and she wanted to get into it with them!
With a renewed vigor and motivation, Kahli knew she had to take action in order make herself get ready in time for sunrise. She tried her best to forget about her hangover and organized her studying satchel. It would still be just as useful to her now in this new context, she figured. With only a small cup of tea and a boiled egg with hot sauce in her system, Kahli cracked her knuckles and dashed out of the hotel room, over to the elevators, down the hallway and out the entrance.
Old Snow Mountain was still teeming with tauman walking everywhere, but it was also an absolutely insane sight to behold in the morning time. The sun was creeping up over the horizon like some enormous, warm giant peering its glowing orb of an eye over the world, reflecting off the snow and ice in a brilliant crescendo of light.
For a moment, Kahli wondered if this was how light elementals felt, all the time about the world. Crazy light elementals, there had to be some screws loose in their heads.
Kahli found herself alone when she reached Cagio's specified meeting place, save for the tantalizing smell of the popular buffet restauraunt. In fact, a large part of Kahli wanted to drop everything and go to the buffet. It wasn't like she'd had a lot to eat, and she felt like it might help with her hangover. But, for better or for worse, she spotted the glint of something in the snow. A small scroll with a read wax seal stamped on it. The seal bore the shape of a garbage can wearing a mask. The seal of the Trash E Scapaders, no doubt about that. Kahli cracked it open and unfurled the scroll:
Kahli,
We are presently being watched by sinister eyes. Do be careful as you proceed in reading this letter to note whether anyone is watching you. For obvious reasons, we Trash E Scapaders can't be seen in large groups when the public eye is peering on us, as we are in fact outlaws.
That said, we really do quite like you and would love to go for a bit of a real archaeological dig with you. A dig for real mysteries and treasures. We just want to assure that you can safely find us without risking being discovered by any foul interlopers.
Please see the directions below in the form of a small map. Meet us at the marked location, a small cluster of boulders by the Eastern side of Old Snow Mountain about fifty paces from your current location.
Thank you, Kahli. We believe in you.
Cagio
Kahli rolled the scroll up. "Well, that wasn't suspicious or troubling at all. Off I go!"