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Behold! The Harbinger of Doom [Fiction]
Chapter 176: Documenting Speed Time

Chapter 176: Documenting Speed Time

It was time for Kahli to learn what a Speed Time was and why the Supreme Time Protector was indeed so concerned about it.

"Yes, Kahli, I do happen to have myself some of the Time Documentation," they said with a chipper tone. The Supreme Tiome Protector whipped out a large wall clock from behind their back.

"Wow, how'd you do that?" asked Kahli. Froufrou squelched a question out herself, as well.

"Just Supreme Time Protector things, it's pretty cool, you wouldn't understand," said the Supreme Time Protector as they cracked open the wall clock like a book, because that's apparently what it was - full of page after page of circular pages, each of which was teeming with dense informational passages on all things time. "See, you're really lucky that you've got me to help you herald in your new [class]. I can't even imagine dealing with a Speed Time right when I first got my [class]. I'm just glad you haven't already died. Then again, I guess that's the benefit of your [skill] - it often splits your timelines down the middle when you encounter such dangerous situations, and that's just as well. If I were you, I'd be incredibly grateful to have such luck with a [skill]. I did not have such a thing when I first started with this whole [Time Manipulator] business, all I had was the ability to rewind time by one minute and a dream. Oh, but what a dream it was, and look where I am now! Which, not coincidentally makes me a little terified to see what you'll become as far as [Time Manipulators] go. We're a bit of an odd breed, you might say, there's not a lot of folks around the universe with a [Time Manipulator] [class]... Or, hell, not a lot of folks with a [class] at all, for that matter... We're the rarest of the rare, and I worry that you, Kahli, and your squelchy little companion might be even rarer than a normally rare [Time Manipulator], and boy is that saying something. Regardless, that's beside the point - though I did just kind of have to let that out there, it's been in the back of my mind since we met and you got your [class]."

"Okay," said Kahli, not sure how to follow that up in truth.

"Anyways, here's the page from the Time Documentation on Speed Times. Just a quick briefing before you dive in, it's once again a little dense. That being said, the gist of it is that Speed Times are rifts in spacetime, often created unintentionally by things such as gaps, gates, tesserators, and perforations, that impact the flow of time from place to place. Sometimes, they are harmless, other times, not so much. They are usually quite a rare phenomena, however once again as you'll note that gaps, gates, tesserators and perforations can cause them, the more of those things there are in Nomachiato, the bigger the risk will be that we will indeed have more Speed Times showing up. And the trickiest thing about Speed Times is that they really sneak up on you - much like the current Speed Time you're stuck in has. If you'd known the warning signs and caught it sooner, you wouldn't be where you are now vis a vis having to choose between a number of less than ideal timelines. That being said, let us review the documentation for further clarification regarding this issue."

With a nod, Kahli beheld the circular page of Time Documentation with the utmost seriousness:

Well howdy doodie, thank you thank you for taking the time to read the Time Documentation on Speed Times! So many folks just don't seem to really care about Speed Times, seeing as they're just so rare in these days of what many people call 'stable time.' Back when spacetime was younger, a little more spry, a little more flexible, these nasty little buggers would pop up all over the rootin' tootin' place. That is to say that back in the day, everbody and their mother knew what a Speed Time was and how to deal with 'em, but these days Speed Times are more rare and as thus folks just don't know how to navigate them. That being said, while they are by definition unstable time that can totally destroy reality as we all know it, usually, they aren't that big of a dealio, really.

Handling getting stuck in a Speed Time, it's important to realize that some of the events that will take place in the Speed Time are out of your control. That's right, control freaks don't often fair well in Speed Times because, by nature of spacetime being unstable, everything kind of loses its gourd in a Speed Time. That is to say that your interactions with folks will gel less than usual, you'll find it harder to think clearly, and everything will just come out wrong no matter what you do!

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A lot of people familiar with Speed Times like to compare them to Rip Currents, 'cept of course the rip is in time and not in a current. Much like in a Rip Current you're carried out to sea with a total lack of control and understanding in mere moments, in a Speed Time you're ripped from traveling through time in a linear fashion to suddenly moving across time in a bit of a strange, diagonal treadmill sort of manner. Now there are a few different kinds of Speed Times, the most common of which are listed below:

1. Slow Mo

Slo Mo Speed Times are experiences to behold, as essentially time gradually starts moving slower and slower. They are subtle to the point of which folks don't often notice anything is off-kilter until it's far, far too late. Sound travels just fine in a Slow Mo Speed Time, but if it takes you twenty hours to cry for help and it sounds like a whale trying to attract a mate, well, you're not getting all that far, now are you?

2. Choppy Time

Choppy Time Speed Times are some of the funniest little Speed Times you can encounter, but they're also quite dangerous to behold, that is for certain. Consider this if you will - in a Choppy Time Speed Time, the second you get caught in one, a number of different things could happen. First thing that could happen is that, well, nothing could happen. See, Choppy Time is essentially a glitch-based time distortion where there's a possibility that nothing at all changes and time moves as expected. However, it's just as likely that an anvil will suddenly appear over your head and fall on you, landing a critical hit with bludgeoning damage and possibly killing you right then and there. You could also potentially age fifteen years in five seconds, or even age five seconds in fifteen years if you're in a Choppy Time Speed Time.

3. Arrested Time

Arrested Time Speed Times are unique in that they put you in a bit of a semi-loop. Don't get this confused now with a normal ass time loop, oh, no, that's not at all what this is. See, in Arrested Time, time essentially freezes - but it doesn't seem like it freezes. In fact - and this is to the benefit of Speed Times being affect by both space and time - Arrested Times happen in specific spaces, and cause a bit of a spatial displacement effect wherein it seems like you're going somewhere, but really, you're going nowhere, and no time at all has passed. Arrested Time is like time has frozen, but you've got space in cahoots with time to disguise that freezing somewhat while the Speed Time carries you further and further away from normal spacetime.

If you find yourself trapped in any sort of nasty old Speed Time, the first thing you ought not to do is panic - it'll just stress you out, and it might even give you an ulcer if you keep it up. Living a life of stress can be rough on anyone and everyone The second thing you ought not to do is to take any action. This is the hardest thing about Speed Times for people to understand, and indeed also the most insidious, seeing as usually they do a pretty half-decent or so job of disguising themselves as normal time until, and this is by design, until it is too late for you to do anything about it. Only through awareness can we as a people band together and stand up to Speed Times. The third thing you ought not to do is try to force your way out of them. Usually, Speed Times end up surrounded by a bit of distorted time that can have extreme adverse effects. This distorted time area is unpredictable, but it is usually activated by physical touch and can potentially be resolved or protected against by trying not to do anything to it and pretending it isn't there.

And so ended the page, save for a couple of citations that referenced all sorts of time scientists that Kahli had never heard of before.

"Wow," said Kahli. "That's pretty rough. It seems like I've done the completely wrong thing as far as working to escape the Speed Time."

"Don't worry about it, Kahli, you had no idea what you were dealing with. Let's just chalk this up to a learning experience."

Kahli nodded. That was fair, and it also made the whole situation hurt her ego a lot less, so she was quite eager to agree with the Supreme Time Protector. "So, Supreme Time Protector, do you think my third scenario is enough to escape this thing? Or should I twist one of my timelines to see if I can make a better one?"

"I don't know," said the Supreme Time Protector. "You might want to consider using your [skill] to 'twist' a timeline, if I'm being honest. You made kind of a mess of things, although you didn't straight up die in every scenario, you came pretty close."

Kahli tried to swallow her pride. "Okay. Froufrou, are you ready to meditate us up a new scenario?"