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Behold! The Harbinger of Doom [Fiction]
Chapter 132: A Fallen Princess

Chapter 132: A Fallen Princess

Taubitha woke up in the dark, murky cave with a terrible headache and a dreadful soreness in her wings. Princess didn't fair too greatly, either - the poor fony had been hacking and wheezing all morning.

Morning? Evening? Taubitha wasn't certain. All she'd known is that, after flying away from Kahli in a sad state of defeat, they'd ridden a strong northwestern wind current over to the mountains bisecting Blandia and Gifflenberg, and bedded down in the closest cavern they could find. Why a cavern, and not a tavern? Well, there were a number of reasons.

One, of course, is that they were now aware of the dreaful outbreak of New Curr and were indeed hesitant - yes, even the Harbinger of Doom, as it were, was hesitant - to approach any locale with a large number of people, lest they get infected and gave to start lopping off limbs. After all, they'd seen Kahli missing a hand - Taubitha quite liked her hands.

Another reason, was Taubitha's wings. Sure, she could somewhat fold them up and otherwise conceal them, albeit not with great ease. Indeed, Taubitha had mistakenly assumed her system would provide to her the necessary muscle memory in order to perfectly use the wings as if she'd always had them, but that had not been the case, and despite her history in gymnastics - that very same history that led to her vehement hatred of Kahli, no less - Taubitha was having a wretched time learning how to control them. It was embarrassing enough that she couldn't yet fly with them, but indeed she was also worried that, due to their unwieldy size, the damned things might just knock over someone's flagon of ale were she to visit a tavern.

Yet another reason was that Princess was absolutely covered in blood. To her credit, Princess still looked absolutely adorable - however, all that said, she was a gory mess. There were still bits of guts matted and stuck in her fur and on the bottom of her hooves. Really, Taubitha needed to clean Princess somehow before she could take her anywhere presentable, or people would doubtlessly start asking questions.

So, there they were, alone in the deep, dark cavern. To clarify, they hadn't always been alone - there had actually been about five or so slime gnomes dwelling in the cave, grumbling and wretched as they were, that Princess had been happy to dispatch without much thought. Fortunately enough, the gnomes had been drinking a custom mirobrewed cavern ale, and after they were all dead, Taubitha had been happy to partake. Indeed, Taubitha had had so much to drink of that cavern ale that it was probably the source of her headache.

Still, she was awake. Why was she awake? It was pitch black, and she was exhausted. What had woken her up?

"I, Sir Gartholomew the Thoughtless, am here! Throw up your arms, mighty gnome warriors, or face my mighty rapier!"

Oh, that's why. Another adventurer was rushing into the cavern.

Apparently - and this is something Taubitha hadn't learned, because she never paid attention in pre-pre-post-post-pre-post-fourthical school - adventurers had a habit of rushing into the mountain ranges near Blandia for what was often purported to be 'world class adventuring and looting.' With an emphasis on looting. Three of them had charged into the cavern already, each one quickly getting their head exploded by Princess without a second thought - which was convenient, however, it also kept interrupting Taubitha's sleep! Taubitha found herself wishing in this moment she could just get a full night's sleep, hell, that she could sleep for twleve hours. Better yet, if only she could sleep twelve hours and wake up somewhere totally different than this awful cave - but that clearly wasn't in the cards for her, and here was another obnoxious adventurer.

"Lay down your arms, oh gnomes!" cried Sir Gartholomew the Thoughtless. "Or taste the sting of my rapier!" He ran into the cavern, immediately seeing the dead gnomes - all of the their heads were exploded. Then, he looked around, and he saw the bodies of the three other knights, also all headless. "By the great pincers of the almighty Theseosus! What has happened here?" He turned to Taubitha and yanked off his helmet, revealing a pale complexion, a large, overly manicured beard, and short, cropped hair. All that, and he was, if his title was to be believed, thoughtless. He was just Taubitha's type. "My good lady, what seems to have happened here? And what is such a lovely specimen like yourself doing here, in this strange, dark cave? And why is your poor fony so... terribly ungroomed? Why, with all that matting, it will cost a fortune to clean, although I must admit it still looks quite adorable."

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And so it was that, quite quickly, Taubitha found herself whispering to Princess not to murder this strange knight. However, she wasn't sure what all to say. So, she led with a question of her own.

"Are you knights going to just keep rushing in here and dying, or what?" asked Taubitha bluntly. "It's grim. I'm sick of seeing peoples' heads explode."

"Grim indeed, why, I'm shocked you're not crying in fear! Such a tender lady as yourself should not have to be around terrible bloodshed!"

"Oh, yes, of course," said Taubitha, trying not to laugh.

"So, what's happening? Why are all the gnomes dead, yet so are all of these other great knights? Why, look at these shields!" The knight knelt to the cavern floor and inspected them. "Why, this is the shield of Gus the Flatulent! And, and this is the shield of Jared the Obnoxious! And, and, Theseosus' pincers, is this the shield of David the Prejudiced? Miss, this is terrible - these are some of the greatest looter - er, greatest knights the world of Nomachiato has ever seen! What horrible monstrosity has, pray tell, slain them?"

Taubitha looked at Princess, and then at Sir Gartholomew the Thoughtless, and then she chuckled.

"What's so funny?" The knight looked grim and serious.

"Nothing," said Taubitha. "I'm, um, I'm only laughing because I'm in so much shock that I can't cry."

"Oh, but of course, you poor thing," said the knight with a solemn bow. Then, he whipped out a small, white kerchief and outstretched an arm to her. "Please, take this. It is a silken kerchief of the finest threadcounts in all of Blandia."

Taubitha took it with a smile and a nod, although she wasn't aware as to whether Blandia was known for having fine threadcounts, or even well done textile work in general. "Thank you, Sir Gartholomew the Thoughtless."

"Please, just call me Garth," said the knight. "Or sir. You can call me that, too."

"Okay," said Taubitha with a small nod and a bit of an anxious frown. "So, Garth, are you going to explain to me why all of these knights, including yourself, keep rushing into this cavern?"

"Of course, your ladyship. You see, we are - well, I guess we were - performing the act known as grinding. By the look of you, you see to be fairly powerful yourself. Might I infer that you, as well, have done some grinding?"

"Yes, yes, I grind all the time, I'm very good at grinding," said Taubitha with a little smile. "I'll just grind and grind and grind until I finally level up."

"Yes, that's the best way to do it, your ladyship," replied Garth. "It's not as fun to keep grinding and grinding without feeling the sweet release of leveling up. It can be quite... disappointing, some might say frustrating, when it takes more effort and grinding than you would normally expect in order to finally level up. Especially when, other times, grinding until you level up seems virtually effortless! Personally, I think it's a bit of a head game, grinding, I mean. All that said, all these brave men were coming here because the gnomes in this cavern are of an exceptionally high level, and they provide adequate grinding opportunities for knights such as myself to grind, and grind, and level up just like we like to. Plus, the gnomes respawn - feature of the cave. Plus, you know gnomes, they're probably more of a fungus than an animal, you know?"

Taubitha nodded slowly. "Okay. But, so, are there any more of you knights coming in here?"

"Only Douglas the Handsome. But don't let the name fool you, he's ugly as sin - they gave it to him as a bit of a joke."

"Oh. Is your title a joke too, Garth?"

"What?" asked Garth with an absentminded expression that made it abudnantly clear to Taubitha in that moment that no, it was not a joke.

"Nevermind," Taubitha frowned.

"Forgive me for saying this, miss, but you seem awfully calm. Pray tell, may I inquire as to why that is, what with all the dead corpses laying around you? And all the blood on your otherwise adorable pet?"

Taubitha cleared her throat. "Well, I mean, it was crazy. Basically what happened was, um, these goblins ran into the cavern and slaughtered everyone."

The knight rasied an eyebrow over the living wood on his face. "Everyone?"

"Well, not me and Princess here." Taubitha patted her fony on the head. "We hid behind a stalactite."

"You mean a stalagmite."

"...Sure," Taubitha smiled uncomfortably.

The knight smiled back, but it seemed that, regardless of his status as the thoughtless he was having second thoughts about whether she could be trusted. Yes, that's clearly what was happening. He didn't trust her.

"Oh, fuck it." Taubitha sighed. "Princess, do your thing."

"Miss, I-" Before the knight could finish his sentence, his head exploded in a brrage of chunky bits that splattered all over Taubitha.

"Oh my GODS!" Taubitha screamed. "Ew, ew, EW!" She wiped her hands off on the side of the cavern wall, leaving a nasty trail. "Ugh, what a gross [skill], Princess. At least it keeps us safe, though."

And then, something caught her eye. A glimpse of a small medallion. Taubitha knelt down on the cavern floor and pciked it up, inspecting it closely. There was on it a carving of a large eyeball, with fish swimming around inside the iris as if it were but a pool of water.

"What the fuck is this?"