I sighed contentedly as the mining village of Gemena appeared on the horizon. Finally, the last stop before we hit Kinshasa.

“Do you know what I’m going to do now that I got sorghums?” I asked offhandedly.

Annie sighed on the driver’s seat beside me. “Are you still on about that?”

She had the reins for the day, and wasn’t the biggest fan of driving, so I was keeping her company. Yep, it was aaaall for her sake.

“Getting those sorghums was the best thing to happen to me on Erd since Bran’s special meat pies. So…?” I asked again.

“Ugh. Fine. What’re you going to do now that you’ve got sorghums?”

“Floss more!”

Annie glowered at me. “I think I’d rather be alone than stuck up here with you.”

“Awww, you love it!”

“Again, I love Balin. I tolerate you.”

“Ouf.”

“Do you have anything we could actually discuss?”

“Not really. Almost three weeks cooped up together has dried up that well. We could talk more about beer facts.”

Annie grimaced. “Even I am growing weary of beer facts.”

“We could discuss tha awful smell startin’ to permeate the wagon after Kirk-White’s seven dwarves spent three weeks cooped up in it.”

“Kirk White?”

“And Fighty, Casty, Flirty, Whiney, Bossy, Oldy, and Pete.”

“Those are…?”

“Our names.”

“Hah! Who’s Flirty? Aqua or Johnsson?”

I grinned. “Depends on who’s bein’ Whiney.”

“Uh huh. Can you go bother someone else?” Annie snapped the reins for emphasis, and up ahead there was a complaining bleat. “Sorry Penelope!”

“Nope. Balin’s walking with his team, Johnsson’s been keepin’ with Copperpot’s guards, Bran and Opal are ‘hanging out’ in their cart, and Malt keeps fallin’ asleep whenever we chat.”

“Then go spend time with Richter? Weren’t you learning from him?”

I shook my head. “Richter and Aqua are busy researching music magic with Berry. They want a handle on it before she shows everyone at Kinshasa University how to do it. Well, Richter’s researching, Aqua’s probably sitting in a plush chair and fanning herself.”

“Gods, I wish I could join her.”

“Nope. You’re stuck here with me for the foreseeable future. But don’t worry, we’re almost there! Only four more days to go!”

“Not soon enough. Hyah!”

*BAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!* [Translated from Prima Donna Goat] “If you continue to flagellate my sensitive porcelaine hide with those reins, I swear to the Gods I will EAT YOUR SOCKS!”

Annie winced. “Sorry Penelope!”

There was still at least an hour until we made it to the squat buildings in the distance, and we mostly spent it in silence. I quickly grew bored and started cycling through using my Abilities. Using Abilities often enough helped them evolve into better versions depending on usage. So far the only Ability I’d evolved was [Flash of Insight].

[Flash of Insight x 2] - Sometimes all an aspiring [Alchemist] needs to make an experiment succeed is the right idea. You gain a flash of insight regarding a subject of your choice.

This Ability can be used twice a day.

It gave me exactly the knowledge I needed at any given moment using my memories and senses. In the past I’d used it to do everything from making split second decisions in battle to remembering the name of the barista that served me coffee every Arday. And Miday. And Barday. Okay, every day of the week, coffee was my comfort drink since the beer still sucked.

The Ability I wanted to evolve most was [Flesh of Stone], but I hated using it out of hand just in case I needed it. But using it this close to our final stop for the night should be safe. Right?

Dammit, I really needed to stop doing that!

[Flesh of Stone] - Playing around with alchemy can be dangerous. You can reflexively turn your flesh into stone for 4 seconds to avoid nasty burns or explosions.

This Ability can be used once an hour.

When I activated [Flesh of Stone], my body turned to stone, making me almost impervious to damage. However, it also caused all my senses to go dark, and it kind of felt like I was floating in an endless void, or one of those neat sensory deprivation float rooms. I’d been to one with my wife Caroline once upon a time, and it’d been kind of fun for the first fifteen seconds. Thankfully this one only lasted four seconds. I could cancel it early, but I never had.

My favourite Abilities were of course my brewing and beer based Abilities, of which I had several. Gods, what a crazy thing to say. My BEER based Abilities, hah! They were [Refine Brew], [Check Quality], and [Bottomless Barrel].

[Refine Brew] - You are able to refine and stabilize a container of alchemical liquid with a touch. If the brew contains any unstable magical aethers they will be forced into equilibrium. The brew will become more nutritious and have a longer shelf life.

You can use this ability once per second.

[Check Quality] - Ensure that nobody ever gets food poisoning from your cooking again. Use this ability on a food or drink item to determine if it is harmful or has gone bad.

This ability can be used once per second.

[Bottomless Barrel] - You can touch a container that contains no more than forty-eight litres of non-magical liquid and grant it a touch of infinity. For the next one minute, any drink you pour out of it does not reduce the liquid level. If the liquid is not poured into an appropriate container or imbibed within the next twenty-four minutes, it disappears.

You can use this Ability once per hour.

Obviously [Bottomless Barrel] was amazing, and I couldn’t wait to see how it evolved. Maybe it would last longer, or let me use it on more bottles at once!

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

I pulled out a bottle of Liquid Gold to use them on then chugged it; no sense in wasting (bad) beer. [Refine Brew] did nothing, but I got more than enough practice with it anyway. I considered offering Annie some, but according to the Country of Crack Ordinances, Chapter 12, Section 4, Subsection B, even dwarves weren’t allowed to drink and drive.

My combat Abilities, [Basic Slash], [Thick Skin], and [Regeneration] were simple enough to practice. I just thwacked Annie in the shoulder and she punched back harder.

[Basic Slash] - Your blows grow stronger. Add an additional four strength to an attack with a melee weapon.

This ability can be used once a minute.

[Regeneration] - Your Spark is stronger than others. You slowly heal from all wounds.

Always active

[Thick Skin] - Sticks and stones may crush your bones but words and swords will never hurt you. Grants an increased resistance to cuts and cutting words.

Always active.

I still wasn’t sure what ‘cutting words’ really meant, and wasn’t too eager to find out.

I still had some labour Abilities lying around. I wasn’t sure how much use they’d get, though. They were [Power Pick] and [Strength of All: Held].

[Strength of All: Held] - A blacksmith is only as good as his tools, and yours are unbreakable. Grants any tools you wield increased durability.

Always active.

[Power Pick] - Swing hard and dig deep, young dwarf! Your next swing with a pick has its Strength increased by 4 and gains a slight area of effect.

This ability can be used once a minute.

I wasn’t sure how MUCH the durability increased, but I’d never had a weapon break, so who knew? I thumped the side of the carriage with my bottle to check and it didn’t break. At least [Strength of All: Held] was just nice to have in general.

Finally, I had my general purpose Abilities. [Big Money] [White Lie], [Mental Maths], and [Friend: Gnomes].

[Mental Maths] - Math Isn't hard. Increases Intelligence by 4 for the purposes of mathematical calculations. Lasts for sixteen seconds.

This ability can be used once a minute.

[Friend: Gnomes] - You know just what a gnome wants to hear. Increases charisma by 4 while attempting to persuade or socialize with gnomes.

This ability can be used once a minute.

[White Lie] – Sometimes we lie because the truth would hurt more. You gain a bonus 4 charisma when you tell a lie that is not intended to harm someone. The lie will read as ‘true’ to abilities that can discern truth and lies.

This Ability can be used once per minute.

[Big Money] - You have so much money there’s nowhere to keep it all! You may store up to 8,000,000 gold worth of cash in an extra-dimensional space.

Always Active.

Four was a popular number for Ability bonuses. At an increase of 4, a Stat was about 1.5 times stronger than before. So my Intelligence was literally half again as good for doing math. That helped with my memory and calculation speed, and it’d been invaluable while doing taxes with Silverpen.

[Big Money] had to be literal money, so no gems or jewels, and I’d been trying to cheat it by starting up a ‘monetary system of exchange’ of potions and weapons with Copperpot. Thus far either I couldn’t cheat the Ability the way I wanted, or I simply wasn’t able to internalize potions of healing as ‘money’ for the purposes of intent.

To practice [White Lie], I’d need to find Whistlemop and tell him he had a great sense of fashion. Rainbow coloured pinstripe suits were just in this Octamillenium. Then he’d inevitably tell me where I could buy one, and I’d run the calculations on how much it would cost to buy a rainbow suit for everyone on the staff and then how fast I’d need to run away.

Finally, I had a couple special Abilities for being a chosen. One was the otherworldly Minimap, which I was ALWAYS using. And the other was my first Personalised Ability, [Pete’s Miniature Remembrance].

[Pete’s Miniature Remembrance] - As an Otherworlder, you have memories of things and places that have never existed. Homesickness can be just as bad as any illness, and this Ability will help to assuage that pain. Allows you to create a miniature object made primarily of Matter. The object must be a previous Possession of great personal significance to you, and one that you have intimate knowledge of. Once summoned, the object will last for an hour.

This ability can be used once an hour.

[Minimap] - Your spirit has found a new spark! Your mental statistics remain replaced with their previous values, and you are more likely to gain blessings and milestones! You also gain a minimap to help find your way around this new world. People and monsters as well as major landmarks will be marked on your minimap. You can also mark crafting ingredients or quests and quest items.

This ability is always available.

[Pete’s Miniature Remembrance] was complicated both in concept and execution. I just didn’t have many useful tiny items that were important to me that I really had intimate knowledge of. My fav pillow? Couldn’t summon it; too big maybe. My favourite kitchen knives? Yes. My favourite brewing tools? Analog yes, digital no. In fact, I hadn’t been able to summon a single digital object - not a one. I had some complaints about that, let me tell you!!!

I concentrated hard and tried for something new. With a complete lack of sound or fanfare, a stainless steel stick popped into my palm. It was a fairly standard Leatherman flip-open utility multi-tool, and I knew it like the back of my hand. It’d been my tool for everything from cutting vines to popping corks and bottlecaps for well over a decade. It was one of the expensive ones that you sharpened instead of replaced.

Annie looked over as I began flipping through the tools. “What’s that?”

“It’s a utility knife. It’s got a bunch of different little tools and functions.”

“Hmmm… reminds me of something I saw an [Engineer] carrying once.”

“It wouldn’t surprise me if Copperpot had something like this.”

“Is it good quality?”

“You can’t tell?” I held the tool up for her to examine. It had never broken on me, but that was because it was made before everything started getting cheaper and more fragile.

Annie raised an eyebrow quizzically “Why would I be able to tell the quality?”

“Because yer a dwarf?”

“That’s nonsense. What does being a dwarf have to do with knowing the quality of a tool at a glance?”

“Huh, good question. Oh! We’re here!”

And we had indeed pulled into the mining ‘village’ while I was distracted.

And by village, I meant a half dozen stone huts on the road with one of the enormous floating light balloons hovering a few hundred meters above it. The houses were short and squat things with no real adornments, or people for that matter. There was a space just outside of town for our wagons, and a rather rank stable for the unigoats. Penelope nosed at it, then pulled away shaking her head.

“Where is everyone?” I asked, looking around.

Annie gave me the look. “In the village, obviously.”

“What?”

Annie pointed at one of the stone huts. “In the village.”

It took me a moment, but I got it eventually. “It’s underground? The whole village!?” I’d seen a lot of houses in Minnova that were underground, but an entire village!? The last little town we’d passed through on the road to Kinshasa hadn’t been like that!

Annie nodded. “The villages closer to the capital are older, and in the early days of the country were subject to more frequent monster attacks. Deepcore Dungeon has a lot of burrowing monsters that open up new entrances to the dungeon all around Western Crack. Those stoneskin wombats were a good example. The burrowing monsters are one thing, but the new entrances also give other monsters free rein to roam. The modern Highwatch helps, but you’ll find more and more dwarven architecture in the old cave style as we get closer to Kinshasa; it’s more easily defensible if you properly enchant the walls. Wait till you see the Capital!”

“Well, let’s head on into Gemena! I want to see what a traditional dwarven village looks like!”

We circled the wagons, took stock of everyone, locked the goats up in the stable, and made our way into the village of Gemena. I couldn’t wait to hit the bar and be disappointed by the local brews!