Beast Games Episode 22: Cyras Versus Rexcelsis
(Hedon JAC = Italics
Richard Biggs: Good morning to everyone. We're having quite an episode today. Instead of my normal broadcast partner, I'm sitting here with Beast King Swillow.
Swillow: Awooo!
Richard Biggs: Anyway, so some changes to the plans have been made.
Swillow: Aren't they always getting changed? So, now that the Artesian Championship has been randomly vacated, little kitty kat Arson is up against big kitty Harper-Jay. And then there's a third random person, to decide who gets the belt.
Richard Woods: This match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing to the ring, standing in at 5 foot 7 and attempting to weigh in at 140 pounds. He is the General Manager, the Survivor, JAC.
JAC walked down to the ring.
"Miracle..."
He slid underneath the ropes, before standing up.
Richard Short waited for the opponent, but when no opponent showed up, he counted.
Richard Short: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
The bell rang.
Richard Woods: And your winner, by forfeiture, Jesus Avalon Cross, JAC!
JAC leaned against the top ropes, and frowned. "Hm, well I guess that works out well. After all-"
"5
4
3
2
1!
Ask not for whom the bell tolls
It tolls for you!"
JAC's eyes widened as he saw the big dinosaur trample into the ring. Only for a new note to hit.
MEW3 walked out, and gestured to Rexcelsis. "Woah, woah, woah big guy, you need to back that fat tail up." He held his hand out to Rex to tell him to move away, before he pointed to JAC.
"JAC, JAC, JACky boy, I think we have to talk about something. You see, you've never actually beat me, the REAL leader of the SOS. You only beat that imposter, ONE."
JAC spoke into the microphone, "You were never the real leader. Just because he took a break doesn't mean he's not the leader."
"Oh, but it does," MEW3 said. "He was barely anything WITHOUT ME."
"You're barely anything without him," JAC said. "If you want a match, Rexcelsis can wait until Christmas. Rexcelsis can have Cyras later tonight instead. Let's do this now."
MEW3 grinned and said, "Gladly." He stepped into the ring.
And JAC speared him before pinning.
Richard Short: One, two, three!
MEW3 rolled out of the ring, clutching his stomach, as JAC stood up. "I'm coming for you, Swillow!" He pointed to the broadcast table.
Swillow: Yeah, yeah, that's nice. Now beat the fat T-Rex, I'll wait.
***
Citrus Snow walked out to the ring. "So, apparently we're all going to have a ladder match. Me, Berand, a few others. A certain triple threat match was cancelled, and I was the mysterious participant. Now my hope was I'd win, get to fight for the Artesian Belt, but no. So instead, we're just making the ladder match the match to win. Anyway, let's talk real here."
She frowned, and scanned the room. "It seems like I've gotten a lot of losses lately. Which is weird, when I used to be able to beat up people even Swillow couldn't beat."
Swillow: Stop living in the past, grandma.
Citrus Snow glared at Swillow. "Regardless, I have to make my case for why I'll win the case, and the championship. My case is that, unlike some of the others in the back, despite having many losses, I don't really care."
A jingle bells theme played as Berand drove in with an Ice Cream truck lit up with Christmas lights. He honked on the horn. The lights lit up and read, "Berand for president."
Citrus Snow raised an eyebrow. "Are you really going to interrupt me now?" She had to admit the bear was bold if stupid.
Berand yelled, "If I win the presidency, I'll give everyone ice cream!"
Citrus Snow's muzzle crinkled. "Berand, we're fighting for a belt, not a presidency."
Berand said, "But I thought they were royal people, Artesians. Aren't they?" He scratched his big head.
"Aristocrats."
"Ah man," Berand said. He threw out a bunch of pins.
Arson walked down to the ring. "Now now, we all know that I'm going to win." He flashed a winning smile as his teeth sparkled. "It happens that just because I have a lot of losses, I still have one win over you Citrus."
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"No, you don't. You lost both of our matches," Citrus Snow said.
Arson frowned. "Er, well, I am one of the strongest here."
"No, I am," Berand said.
"Well-" Arson stepped on one of the pins, and screamed as blood leaked from his foot.
Harper-Jay walked down to the ring.
"How many of you are coming?" Citrus Snow asked. "How big is this ladder match? It can't be that many people."
Swillow: Try six.
Mosor walked down and said, "Don't forget, you broke your leg in the last ladder match. And while I wasn't the reason why, I am certainly going to be the reason why you do it again. After my family beats the Alliance, we will be supplying Berand's campaign with ice cream!"
"Stop a minute, everybody!"
The final voice came from the final participant, none other than Vicyl. "I believe we all know I'm going to win the ladder match. I've only lost in a fatal four way before."
Citrus Snow said, "The only fatal four way here is me. Looks, talent, smarts, and being better than all of you. In every conceivable way."
Swillow: Not wrong.
Vicyl said, "If you want, we can go right now. I know I could easily beat you. My record is the opposite of yours: one loss, many wins. You have many losses, one win."
Citrus Snow rolled her eyes. "Please kid. We only have room for one yellow wolf. How about someone who's organic instead of looking like a reject fursuit in a trashcan by the local Arby's?"
Vicyl got into the ring, and stared Citrus Snow in the eyes.
Vicyl ran at Citrus Snow with a running knee, but Citrus Snow sidestepped and bucked her in the back. Vicyl collapsed to her knees with a groan, before Citrus Snow kicked the side of her jaw to knock her down.
The Assassin of the Snows went over to a pole as Vicyl sprung back up. Citrus charged, but Vicyl spun around for a clothesline, only for Citrus to jump on her in a crucifix pin.
Richard Short: One, two-
Vicyl kicked out, flipped over, and spun before kicking Citrus in the face. The mutt fell to her side, and Vicyl picked her up over her shoulders.
Vicyl pointed to a pole, before throwing Citrus Snow at it, shoulder first. Citrus instead planted her feet on the ropes and metal pole, before jumping back. She wrapped an arm around Vicyl and both spun until Vicyl bonked her head on the mat.
Richard Biggs: A tilt-a-whirl DDT from Citrus Snow.
Swillow: Highly improvised. Not something you'd expect to see.
Vicyl put her hands on the back of her head as she struggled to a knee. Citrus Snow stood on the apron, outside the ropes, before using said ropes as a slingshot. She came towards Vicyl, and attempted a drop kick, but Vicyl jumped over. As Citrus landed on her back, Vicyl landed on Citrus' sternum.
Citrus Snow gasped as she felt her ribs almost crack. She turned over, as Vicyl mounted her back, and threw punches towards the back of her head.
Swillow: In street fights, I think this is illegal, and that's saying something.
Richard Biggs: You two have been in plenty of street fights, haven't you?
Swillow: I've been in more street fights than you can name.
Vicyl stood up from Citrus, and picked Citrus Snow up. She was prepared to drop the yellow wolf's head on her knee, when Citrus struggled free from the grasp and slapped at Vicyl.
Vicyl cringed and dodged the slap.
Citrus dropped to her back, and gave a quick light punch to the knee.
Richard Biggs: Fifteen pounds of pressure is all that's needed to shatter a joint!
Swillow: And Citrus has way more than fifteen pounds of pressure in any punch that she gives.
Vicyl screamed, and clutched her knee. Citrus Snow swung around, and rolled her up onto her shoulders.
Richard Short: One, two, three!
Citrus Snow ran off from the quick pin.
Swillow: And there you go! That's one way to win.
Richard Biggs: Like a thief in the night.
Swillow: Anyway, so it seems I've got a final date tonight. I'll be getting ready...
***
Richard Woods: This is a final interview, with Swillow.
Swillow: Thanks Woods. Anyway, Leroy you better bring your best or get left in the west! I am not talking about being just magically superior, I am superior to you physical, height wise, size wise, and all other ways wise! When I am done with you, you'll be serving my coffee!
Everyone around here is jealous because I wear ten pounds of gold around my waist. When I walk around, the light glints off just right, gets in people's eyes - and that's how it works, you know. I love my fashionable gem, as this belt is the crown jewel of Beast Games, and is my own personal crown jewel. Leroy will never know what this feels like.
You've been struggling to get off of level one, gamer dino, but I've been on the final level of pac-man, while you were just looking for a pack, man. You've been carried, figuratively, and literally, by beefcakes. I am my own self-made wolf. I've been doing this on my own, with my own strength, getting my own legacy.
So if you wanna climb the top of the mountain, you better believe my flames are melting all the snow before you get there, boy!
***
Richard Woods: This match is scheduled for one fall, without count outs. Already in the ring, standing at 35 feet, and weighing in at 20,000 pounds, he is Rexcelsis.
Rexcelsis roared.
Richard Woods: And his opponent, she is-
A fireball hit Rexcelsis in the jaw.
Rexcelsis shook his head, before Cyras jumped on his tail, and ran up his back while flaming. She raised a fiery paw, before slapping away at one of his eyes. Despite a nictating membrane, she broke through.
Tears gushed from the giant dinosaur, but she bit down on scales to prevent herself from being flung off as he shook his colossal head.
She had to win this. Cyras jumped into the air, her tail turned to nine, before she slammed down with the Nine Tails.
An explosion overtook Rexcelsis' head.
Richard Biggs: Now is that the final part of this match up?
Rexcelsis stepped back, and Cyras landed on her feet. Despite the big dinosaur's swaying, he still stood up, and threw his tail at her, flipping her over. As Cyras reverberated on the ground, he turned tail and slammed her down again. And again.
Richard Biggs: KT powerbombs.
Rexcelsis did a leg drop. The arena shook.
Richard Woods: One, two, three!
Richard Biggs: And Rexcelsis wins our main event of the evening. Next up, it will be him at Christmas, so stay tuned. But we have a final interview with Leroy. He'll be coming out to the ring to talk about his own thoughts on some matters. And responding to Swillow's thoughts.
Leroy waved at Rexcelsis as they walked past. Grabbing a microphone, they said, "So baby dino isn't coming in on the little race car gamepad thing. I'm probably ditching that for now. You see, unlike Swillow, I don't need something to lift me higher than I already am. She does however.
"She needed JAC, she needed Citrus Snow, she needed everyone. Athyn should have been the real world champion. Then, I'd have been world champion as part of SOS. I'd have taken him out.
"The fact she wears ten pounds of gold makes me sick. Or the fact that everywhere I go, all I see is Swillow, thinking she's the greatest, thinking she'd beat me ten times in a row.
"The only thing I've ever seen Swillow beat was a pancake eating contest, and considering she's 303 pounds, I have a good reckoning she's won all the ones she's in. So let's talk about that unbeaten streak instead."
A buck came to Leroy's head. His head jerked back as Swillow stood over him.
"You think you're some kind of strong bitch, don't you?" Swillow said, as she poured gasoline over his body. She took a few steps back, a spark coming from her claws...
The lights turned off. On the walls it wrote "whereiswasting".
The lights turned back on. Swillow visibly shaken, her pupils flew around the room, before a superkick came to her jaw.
JAC stood over Swillow, before hooking her arms, and giving her a piledriver onto her head.
Leroy ran over, and drop kicked JAC in the chest to knock him down, before they stood. Leroy struck a pose.
Christmas:
Swillow versus Leroy - Ironman Match
JAC versus Rexcelsis
Rinachi and Tuwil versus the Ice Cream Pack
Arson, Harper-Jay, Citrus Snow, Vicyl, Berand, and Mosor in a ladder match