Cappy's Cafeteria buzzed with the steady din of conversation, clattering dishes, and ambient pop music. A sparse crowd filled the area, slowly growing in size as late risers stumbled out of bed in search of food. The sights and sounds served as little more than a backdrop as Kaitlyn ate her breakfast – a plate of chili-oil fried eggs.
At least, that's what it was supposed to be. In reality, they might be better described as eggs with some chili oil and other seasonings dumped on top. It wasn't nearly as tasty as her own homemade version in the dorms, unfortunately. Even with all of her efforts, it was hard to make an option that anyone could enjoy without cooking. She hadn't managed anything close.
Dang. I really had hope for this one, too… Guess there's just some things you can't take shortcuts on.
Finishing off her mediocre meal, she shouldered her backpack and carried the dirty dishes to the dropoff. As of yesterday, midterms were officially over. Not just for her, but for pretty much everyone. And for the first time in ages, she actually cared about the results.
Not mine, obviously. I still aced them. But I want to know how the others did.
After all the time she'd spent in study sessions with Ian, she just had to know how he'd fared in his own exams. Whether or not her help had actually pulled up his otherwise abysmal grades… she couldn't wait to find out.
Ok, well, I don't technically know that they were abysmal to start, she admitted to herself. He never told me what his grades actually were. But it certainly didn't sound like the best situation. I just hope he crushed Intro to Programming, at least.
With some prodding from Kaitlyn, they'd branched out in their study sessions a bit to cover more bases. They didn't always have a programming assignment to work on, after all. So each day, before practicing Bash Bros. together, she'd managed to cajole Ian into working on his other classes while she "worked" on hers. It was the best way she could think of to help out, aside from directly tutoring him.
Ian wasn't the only one she wondered about, though. She had to admit a little bit of curiosity about Esme and Elliot's results. But she could find that out in lab. Though based on what she'd seen, Elliot had absolutely nothing to worry about.
As Kaitlyn exited the cafeteria, her gaze wandered about the familiar setting of Hartland University. Tall red-brick buildings reached toward the blue skies above with steepled roofs. The chill autumn wind was beginning to pick up, rustling the leaves of the oaks as they just began to change colors. A scattering of students milled about the paved pathways and buildings, their numbers considerably smaller on the weekend after exams. Most people were at home relaxing or out enjoying the reprieve from all the cramming.
Her thoughts wandered as she walked, her feet taking her on autopilot toward the gaming club's meeting room. But beneath all of her idle musings ran a thread of tension that she couldn't shake.
What if… what if I didn't change anything?
The idea made her grimace. What if all of her efforts had been for nothing? Sure, it seemed like she'd helped Ian stay on-task and focused, but what if that was just wishful thinking? What if it hadn't translated to better grades at all?
The fear accompanied her all the way into the room, asserting its presence even as the sounds of Bash Bros gameplay washed over her. She'd come pretty early, so there weren't that many people here yet. But scanning the tables, her eyes alighted on Ian's mint hoodie in the back corner as usual. His attention was entirely fixed on his laptop, its screen filled with lines of rainbow code.
Kaitlyn gulped, her steps leaden as she headed over. It's ok. Even if he did badly, that just means we'll have to try harder next time, right? What am I even worried about? It's no big deal!
The reassurances didn't stick, though. Despite everything, she had tried her best to help Ian get on the right track. If all of that had yielded no results at all… well, where was she supposed to go from there?
Alright… here goes.
Kaitlyn stopped at her chestnut-haired friend's elbow as he obliviously tapped away at his keyboard. Shaking herself, she took one last breath and forced a smile to her face. "Hey, Ian!"
The guy blinked for a moment, looking up in surprise. "Huh? Oh! Hey, Kay." He reached up to close his laptop before turning to her more fully. "You're early."
"Yeah? Guess I am," she admitted before segueing into the topic at hand. "Just excited to play, now that midterms are over."
He nodded in agreement. "Yeah. Want to grab a setup?"
Dangit. Guess it was too much to hope he'd pick up on that unspoken question. I'll have to ask more directly once we sit down.
"Sure! We've got plenty of options. Pick your favorite."
"Yeah. Right." He stood up, looking distractedly over the room. "Let's head over there."
The pair claimed one of the many empty setups, plugging in their controllers and settling in. As Ian sat down, she watched him carefully. He seemed… off. His words had felt a little short, and his expression seemed just a little tight. Though maybe she was imagining it.
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Kaitlyn's heart sank. This isn't looking good. Something's bothering him. What if he really didn't do well?
The knot of dread in her chest grew as the character select screen appeared. She had to know. As much as she didn't want to hear the answer, she had to know what had happened.
"So… how did your midterms go?"
Ian grimaced, sending her hopes crashing down even further. "They were… fine."
"Fine?" She pressed.
"Yeah," he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I got A's in Intro to Programming and Calc, thanks to you. Even Writing and Jazz History went ok. Got B's in those."
Kaitlyn's heart pulled up out of its nosedive and soared back into the sky. He… he did it! WE did it! Yes!
"That's great!" A broad grin spread across her face as she shook his shoulder. "What do you mean, 'fine?' Ian, that's awesome! We've gotta celebrate or something!"
"Yeah, I guess…"
Her grin faltered slightly as she stared at the guy. His expression had only tightened further with the admission, his frown deepening. He still didn't meet her eyes, choosing instead to stare at the screen.
What in the world…? Why's he acting like this?
"Ian… what's wrong?"
He scratched his brown curls, still not meeting her eyes. "I just… it's nothing."
"Uh, it's obviously something," Kaitlyn pointed out. "You're acting like you failed everything, not cruised through with A's and B's. Did something else happen? Are you ok?"
For a long moment, he didn't speak. Then, he let out another long sigh and dropped his eyes to the ground. "I guess… I was hoping I'd have more time after midterms, you know? But now I've got twice as many assignments, and it's not gonna let up until finals…"
His shoulders slumped slightly as Kaitlyn looked on. She knew the feeling, in a way. Even though her own core classes didn't have any graded assignments, she completely understood the feeling of being overwhelmed.
Though I guess my problem has always been having too much time. Still, though. It never feels like I have enough, not when it comes to the things I really care about…
"I'm… sorry." She gave him a sympathetic smile, not entirely sure what to say. "It's rough, I know. Do you… need more time to study? We can work on that, if you need."
"It's not that, really. I mean, I will need more time, but it's just… there's other stuff I want to work on, too. My own stuff," he admitted. "Stuff that I've really been falling behind on."
Kaitlyn pursed her lips. She knew exactly what he meant – his game. She had seen him working on it during most of the Intro to Programming lectures still, which was only to be expected. He really didn't need to listen to that one, anyway.
But I have no idea how much time he's spending on it when we're not hanging out. I have to assume a lot, though, since it sure doesn't seem like he's studying.
It wasn't like she disapproved of the thing. It was really cool. But she couldn't ignore how Ian's obsession with it negatively impacted his grades, even in his "easy" classes.
…I've seen what happens when you get completely caught up in one thing like that. It consumes everything else, and not in a good way. I've been there, and he has too – well, not THIS Ian, but still. It's not a good road to go down. I just don't want him to make the same mistakes.
It was the best way she knew to help him – by ensuring that the game didn't take over his life. She knew for certain now that Ian really was a smart, capable guy. If he could just get his grades to reflect that, he'd have a great future ahead of him. He'd be doing so much better. Maybe his improved study habits would even carry over after his romance ending, so that he could handle classes and the game at once. But all of that required him to focus now.
"...Ok. I get it," she sighed. "If you need more time to study, we can cut back on practice. That's ok. And…" She hesitated, unsure whether to continue. "If you really don't want to hang out–"
"Ah, sorry!" Ian quickly backpedaled, finally meeting her eyes. "That's not what I meant! I do, really. I like studying and practicing with you. I'm… just frustrated, that's all."
Kaitlyn gave him a sad smile. "Yeah. I can totally get that. No one ever said college would be easy, right?"
"Right…" Ian shook his head. "I guess not."
They loaded into a game and began warming up, the cartoonish figures of CinnaBun and Corgo bounding across the screen as they exchanged blows. They stayed silent during the game, each focused on predicting the other's next moves and setting up combos. But despite that, Kaitlyn couldn't help but sneak an occasional glance over.
…I feel like I should say something else, she realized as Corgo narrowly dodged a shuriken. The dog returned fire with a pair of lasers before leaping back into the fray. Like the conversation's not really over yet. But what is there to say?
Maybe she could encourage him, say that the assignments wouldn't take as long as he thought? Though she didn't know that for sure. She'd seen the workload those classes stuck him with before midterms, and it wasn't exactly small. If they were assigning even more, then Ian was right to be worried about his free time. And that also meant that reducing their study time could be even more disastrous.
"...Look at it this way," Kaitlyn eventually spoke, deciding on an approach. "You might not have too much time now, but after finals you'll be home free. It'll be winter break then, and you'll have all the time in the world to do what you want."
It wasn't the most honest approach, given her knowledge of the loop. But to be fair, she didn't exactly know what happened when everything reset. Maybe there were parallel universes that continued on with each new cycle. Or maybe the people themselves got reset. She hadn't wanted to think about it too hard. Still, it was the only thing she could think of to say.
I'm not technically lying. And it's better to act as though there's time after the end of the semester, anyway.
"Just let me know if you want more time for yourself," she continued. "Like I said, we can always cut down on Bash Bros., if you need. I also like practicing with you, but if you need more time…"
Ian met her gaze, his blue eyes still filled with concern. But as she watched, the Ian she'd come to know slowly returned, his features relaxing. "Thanks, Kay. Really. I… think I can make it work."
"You think so?"
"Yeah," he nodded slowly. "It'll take a bit more effort, but… we'll see. I might need you to keep me honest."
A relieved grin spread across her face. "Of course! That's what I'm here for, isn't it?"
Thank goodness, she let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. It sounds like things will be ok. For now.
For a moment, she'd feared that she'd messed something up. But given Ian's reaction, it seemed as though that wasn't the case. He'd be alright. Together, they'd be able to handle his classes.
"Now, come on," she nudged him with an elbow playfully as a victory screen declared her the winner. "You'll need a lot more practice before you beat Zog. If I can still chaingrab you like that, then you've got no chance against him."